I am DONE with pregnancy

[elm26]

I'm almost 37 weeks after 13 miscarriages and so grateful but today I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I had Hyperemesis from 6-33 weeks as soon as the sickness eased to only once a day, I got covid and ended up in hospital on oxygen, I got rid of that and felt great for about 5 days before pelvic girdle pain kicked in. I've been grinning and baring it but today I've finally cracked.

I'm exhausted, I'm awake from 1-6 every night, I'm in agony, my DH is working 7 day weeks at the moment so I'm quite lonely at the minute.

I've cried all day, I've really had enough.

I've tried talking to friends or female relatives about how I feel but if I hear "you think you're tired now wait until the baby is born" or "you'll forget about it and have number 2 within a couple years" once more I actually think I may commit murder.

I told my DH when he called me earlier that he can forget about ever having another one and he kind of half laughed so I put the phone down on him 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've tried to keep my head above water the whole way through, the first 16 weeks were plagued with worry I'd miscarry and sickness, second trimester I was more sick than ever and lost 2 stone and now the third trimester is so painful I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm really worried that by the time I go into labour I will be an absolute exhausted wreck and not actually make it through it. I have no strength left. I can't even pick up my dogs pop anymore because I can't bend so going for a slow walk and getting out in the fresh air isn't an option. (DH walks him when he's home instead now).

Please somebody tell me there is an end in sight because I just feel absolutely emotionally and physically done today.

With PGP I slept in a chair for months. Eventually got a reclining chair, wow was it good. It might be better option than bed as I found that far too painful with PGP!

@Coffeewithmyoxyg3n thank you for your kind words and congratulations x I'm really hoping newborn life is a walk in the park for me compared to pregnancy x

I’m so sorry you are going through this- I can’t imagine- my pregnancy wasn’t like this.

what I did want to say though was make sure you have a huge amount of support after the baby is born. Express (if you want to feed) or let your other half bottle feed. You will NEED your rest and sleep after everything you have been through. It’s been a horrendous time for you, you need to build your strength back up. The labour will take it out of you- never mind everything beforehand,

just be prepared for that! If you can get a really good rest after the baby is born, let your body recover, even for a week or so, then you will be able to cope a lot better (you may need more than a week though).

I don’t think people understand how debilitating birth can be, never mind if you have a horrendous pregnancy. The body really needs loads of time to rest, be looked after and recover.

Sorry my last response was meant for @Coffeeandbourbons ♥️

@elm26 I feel your pain. My first pregnancy was pretty easy but this one I've had pelvic girdle pain since 12 weeks (sadly I kid you not), severe sickness until about 24 weeks, and horrendous abdominal pain/Braxton Hicks most of the day and night since 30 weeks (just gone 37w). I've had enough. And I know what you mean about people being annoying. I asked my partner earlier to get something for our toddler and he asked me why I couldn't get it myself. If I had the mobility I would have leapt up and gone over and hit him! Instead I had to haul my carcass slowly up and out to the kitchen whilst silently cursing him.

@Coffeewithmyoxyg3n so sorry you're going through this too, it's really depressing. I feel like I'm already fed up with everyone telling me I'll be pregnant with number 2 within a year as one, after 13 miscarriages and no cause found I feel like we are extremely lucky to have got this far and I don't think I could go through the losses again and 2 they have no idea the effect this is having on my mental health! Thank you for your kind words and congratulations I hope you get some relief soon xx

@FearTheWankingDead thank you for making me feel more normal than the people around me right now! X

@ILoveToSquanderPromise thank you, definitely feel like she'd be better out than in right now! Or rather I'd be better if she was out! X

I hear you op and ....whisper...once they are here ...sometimes.... (and l hope you are like l was was it) is so much easier than being pregnant!

I had prenatal depression and pre eclampsia, and pain just about everywhere and wanted to die throughout both my much wanted pregnancies.......but when they arrived the black cloud lifted within hours, and l loved every minute and wished someone had told me how great having babies was instead of the horror stories. Had l known l would have done it years before.
But the pregnancies scarred me for life, in fact l gave up alcohol as l never wanted to feel sick again! It was the hardest thing l have ever done.

The best advice l was given, was by my lovely mum....'.just do it your way'...
(when l was dreading all the typical baby classes and mum huddles in a coffee shop)

Soon this horrible pain will be over, and any future pregnancy may be very different. Good luck!

@thespy sorry to hear you suffered too. Thank you for your lovely words, I hope all of that happens too 😂 to be able to sleep on my back and go a whole 7 hours at night without needing a wee would be amazing ha x

I hear you. I had a horrendous first pregnancy; hyperemesis, anaemia, hot summer so I swelled up everywhere, sciatica. I was throughout miserable. NOT HELPED by the bastards saying " you think you're tired, wait till it arrives" well fwiw the baby arrived and slept like a dream so they were talking crap. I've had three kids now and although the latter ones weren't such good sleepers, in my experience the newborn days were a piece of piss compared to the horror of pregnancy. Hang in there op xxxx

@Lwrenagain sorry you're suffering again 😔 it's bloody hard! Thank you and I'm wishing you all the best in your pregnancy x

@Carla224 I'm praying that it's actually bullshit I can't imagine feeling much worse than I do right now 😂 thanks so much x

@LemonDrizz amen! Sorry you're suffering too, we're in it together 💪🏻 wishing you a safe delivery x

@ladygindiva you're a better woman than me, I think hot weather would tip me over the edge right now 🫠 I'm praying I get a sleeper, apparently my Mum had to wake me to feed me otherwise I'd of slept 10-12 hours at night fingers crossed she takes after me ha! Thank you for your kind words x

@Rafferty10 this made me tear up! Thanks so much 🥹 I definitely NEVER want to be sick again lol. I will also take your lovely Mum's advice xx

Yes apparently I was a huge sleeper too ... Fingers crossed it's hereditary. Oh and I would never have been brave enough to get pregnant three times.... It took me 18 years to have a second and it turned out to be twins. 🤣

@OhwhyOY oh my goodness, 12 weeks?! I feel for you, this is agony and I can't imagine having had it all the way through! I'd of definitely thrown something at my DH if he'd of said that to me 🤦🏻‍♀️ we're both nearly there now 🤞🏻 wishing you a safe delivery and lots of relief x

@Rowthe not necessarily - I was severely anaemic with my first, needed multiple blood transfusions etc. I felt much much much better once baby arrived!

@roarfeckingroarr thank you so much and congratulations! It's very hard when everyone thinks you look good, I've lost 2 stone and everyone says "oh I wish I'd of lost weight when pregnant" but I'd of given anything to not be sick 8-10 times a day like I was! X

My ds was back to back and I had excruciating pain when walking (literally was unable to walk to work and had to wfh) shooting up the back of my pelvis for the end of my second and third trimester.
The good news is for me at least it went away once my baby had descended and I was literally running and squatting right before I was due. 😂
I can only say the pain you feel now likely will go after delivery, I was worried I wouldn't feel normal again, but pretty soon after my ds was born I felt much more like my old self. Even been thinking of having another. 😅

Thanks for the advice @birdglasspen2 I will definitely look for the group too! X

I so sympathise OP. I felt exactly the same (and tbh, I only had the one as I couldn't face it again).
As soon as DS was born though I felt FANTASTIC. Almost straight away. Wishing you the best of luck.

@Spongecake556 thank you 🩷 DH is taking 3 weeks off (has his own company so has been working extra days to cover some pay) and I'm lucky that his Mum is supportive/is probably more excited than me for the baby to come 😂 my stepmum, aunt and 2 of my best friends are incredibly kind and have offered support once baby is here if I'd like to nap/have a bath/straighten my hair they've said to call them and they'll be over asap to help so I feel really lucky x

@TeaAndTwoSugars that sounds horrendous! Back to back?! My scan about 10 days ago showed baby head down and in correct position so I'm hoping she's stayed like that! Good luck for number 2! 🥰