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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

But, I want to be back in that bubble.

84 replies

Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 08:37

Friend and I were talking about when our Dds were younger (now 4) and she said how it was like being in a bubble and not real life..being at home with her Dd, not working etc, she said she’s much happier now.
But, I want to be back in the bubble I was in with Dd. I worked all my life, long hours, waited years for Dd to come along. I keep thinking back to those lovely days, just her and I, no rushing, just together. Yes, it was so so hard at times, but now I’m rushing everywhere, she’s at school and it all just ended and seemed to go so quickly. I’m off today for the first time in a long time and i keep thinking back…those really were that happiest days, less real outside stress, just her and I
Is it healthy/normal to want to be back inside that bubble?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 09:59

Anybody felt/feel the same?

OP posts:
VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 03/05/2023 10:08

Oh yes I know what you mean. absolutely the best time for me was 2-4. No rushing anywhere, no school runs. Just us, and days out puddle jumping, exploring. It was wonderful.
i felt like I lost mine a bit when they started school, tired, school dramas, going from knowing every moment of their life to knowing very little. It doesn’t last, don’t worry.

it does get easier though, well out the other side now early and mid teens now. We still spend lots of time together, I do have to scratch my head a bit more for ideas of things to do - puddle jumping, rainbow chasing and colouring doesn’t cut it anymore. It’s a good place now.

Ghostdreammove · 03/05/2023 10:11

Yes - I remember those days - I think it is rose tinted though . Early teens at the mo and mentally so much harder work now

Frogsdinner · 03/05/2023 10:28

God no, I found the early years and primary years way too hard. I love my teenagers.

Snugglemonkey · 03/05/2023 10:30

I miss those days too. I have a 5 month old now, but it is not so bubble like as we have the school runs, but I really love having a baby. I love seeing my children grow through all the stages so far.

Wotsitmom2022 · 03/05/2023 10:31

I’m in that bubble but back to work soon and I feel so sad about it knowing how much I will miss it :(

Oysterbabe · 03/05/2023 10:33

I did enjoy it at the time but honestly I think I'm happier now. I like going in to the office and spending time in adult company and feeling accomplished. The children are thriving in school, making friends and learning independence.

Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 10:34

I’m wondering if I am seeing it in a rose tinted way looking back. I remember really struggling with afternoon naps etc, but now I think about it, the shutting the curtains in the middle of the day and cuddling up, upstairs with all the outside world carrying on and just us safe together, it was just so lovely. It did go so fast, especially the early baby part (the first 3 months were hellish with colic and finding my feet, but 4/5 months until 1 year , 3 months (when Dd started walking 😅) were just so nice, I wish I could go back

OP posts:
defi · 03/05/2023 10:35

Sometimes but he's more robust and talkative now. Also remember being bored to tears with the repetitive cleaning and little to no adult company.

LadyJ2023 · 03/05/2023 10:40

We have 3 under 2s and I love it right now. Home with them hubby works and we play and there all starting to chatter. Today we will spend the day playing in the garden they've started playing hide and seek and love there little giggles. Im notnlooking forward to the nursery days as love being with all 3 and seeing developments every day.

Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 10:41

@LadyJ2023 Sounds lovely, v lucky 🤗

OP posts:
DucksNewburyport · 03/05/2023 10:42

I don't feel exactly this (I preferred the older ages myself), but I totally understand the nostalgia for an earlier stage! My DC1 is 17yo and 6'4" now, I miss him being little!

Thehollygrail · 03/05/2023 10:43

I loved the 0-12 bubble. 18 months to 3 is so, so hard and exhausting. Hoping the 3-5 bubble will be easier.

Mutabiliss · 03/05/2023 10:49

That bubble is exactly what I hated. I felt so cut off from everyone else, didn't have the brain space for adult conversations or interests because everything revolved around bottles and naps and weaning and laundry and endless bloody housework. I needed to get back into the real world and use my brain, and talk about things that weren't my child.

Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 10:50

@Thehollygrail Yes, the nicest part was the sitting up but not walking part 😂that flew by though 😩

OP posts:
queenatom · 03/05/2023 10:50

Thehollygrail · 03/05/2023 10:43

I loved the 0-12 bubble. 18 months to 3 is so, so hard and exhausting. Hoping the 3-5 bubble will be easier.

It's strange how everyone feels differently about things! I HATED 0 - 12 months (particularly 0 - 6 months) and so far I'm really loving the toddler times. I'm also so much happier now I'm back at work and not spending every moment of my day looking after my son, I enjoy him so much more now that I know I'll get a break at some point.

Findyourneutralspace · 03/05/2023 10:53

I'd love to go back to preschool. I only ever had one at home at a time, so it was one-to-one, toddler groups, trips round Asda, afternoon naps. I felt we had a great routine which allowed me time to keep on top of the housework and enjoy motherhood, with a bit of social stuff thrown in, and working three days a week.
If I could go back to any time, it would be then.

OldTinHat · 03/05/2023 10:54

I remember those days when DC were babies and EBF. Just me and them, all warm and together, nothing else existing but them....sigh! I do miss that time too OP.

They're both in their mid 20s now and tower over me!

Thehollygrail · 03/05/2023 10:56

I think I find it hard as my toddler never lets me have a minute - obviously that’s normal, I’m not intending to sound critical!

It is lonely too but I find with a baby you can do your own thing a bit more. I used to go shopping and have coffee with friends, I can’t really do that with a lively two and a half year old!

queenatom · 03/05/2023 11:05

Thehollygrail · 03/05/2023 10:56

I think I find it hard as my toddler never lets me have a minute - obviously that’s normal, I’m not intending to sound critical!

It is lonely too but I find with a baby you can do your own thing a bit more. I used to go shopping and have coffee with friends, I can’t really do that with a lively two and a half year old!

I think temperament plays a huge part in this and can change over time - my son was a very miserable, frustrated infant so coffee with friends and shopping didn't really happen (I have crystal clear memories of all of the mums in my NCT group chatting and enjoying a picnic with their babies in the sun whilst I did loops of the park for 90 minutes with my screaming baby before giving up and going home). Now that he's older he's very happy to trot around a shopping mall or play in a park whilst I chat with a friend on a bench - meanwhile some of those NCT mums have Grade A clingers and can't get a second to themselves.

Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 11:05

@OldTinHat Ahh yes, I used to love shutting the curtains and shutting the world out and having her in my arms bfing to sleep for the afternoon nap and a couple of hours watching my tv shows
It all seems so rushed now…

OP posts:
Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 11:07

@Thehollygrail Its hard, my Dd is very energetic and even now shopping is a bit of a nightmare, I do miss the days of putting her in a buggy and just browsing around the shops

OP posts:
Original poster
Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 11:08

@queenatom How old is your son
now?
When Dd started to walk, it was game over 🙈so bloody energetic, she was so calm until then

OP posts:
dudsville · 03/05/2023 11:10

I don't have chilcdren but the pandemic taught me how much happier I am havig so much more time alone and spending it quietly, so I've held on to this. I think it's harder with children as a lot of them need to get out there to those parties and socialise and therefore the parents do also. Can you go thrugh your diary and choose a weekend a month where youu just have it quietly at home with your dd?

TiredInWorthing · 03/05/2023 11:12

Totally agree. I absolutely loved that time. When it was over, I used to look forward to school holidays so much and be sad when term started again because I loved having the DC at home with me for extended times.

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