Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

But, I want to be back in that bubble.

84 replies

Kidstvissoloud · 03/05/2023 08:37

Friend and I were talking about when our Dds were younger (now 4) and she said how it was like being in a bubble and not real life..being at home with her Dd, not working etc, she said she’s much happier now.
But, I want to be back in the bubble I was in with Dd. I worked all my life, long hours, waited years for Dd to come along. I keep thinking back to those lovely days, just her and I, no rushing, just together. Yes, it was so so hard at times, but now I’m rushing everywhere, she’s at school and it all just ended and seemed to go so quickly. I’m off today for the first time in a long time and i keep thinking back…those really were that happiest days, less real outside stress, just her and I
Is it healthy/normal to want to be back inside that bubble?

OP posts:
WordtoYoMumma · 04/05/2023 01:22

I definitely miss those younger days. I loved not working 😂

Life is pretty hard now, full time job and three teenagers who seem to need me more now than when they were little!

Yeh I'd go back to the bubble of preschool / school drop offs, play dates, visits to the park, walks in the woods, drinking tea and playing with dolls 🤪

I hate working, I hate rushing around, I hate how nothing is ever ok anymore it's just a conveyor belt of unfinished problems.

Thehollygrail · 04/05/2023 06:29

I find I rush around so much … am I doing this all wrong? If I have a quiet day at home with a toddler, well. I can’t!

Beezknees · 04/05/2023 06:32

I'm the exact opposite. Toddler stage is the hardest. I wouldn't want to go back to that. Give me my teenager any day who can have proper conversations and doesn't have tantrums!

You just have to enjoy every stage. One of the joys of having children is watching them grow up.

Beezknees · 04/05/2023 06:36

miniegg3 · 04/05/2023 01:17

I hated it too 😅 not many people seem to say that.. he's currently 5 and I'm loving this age, much more fun and less work

Show quote history

I hated it too, don't worry. I prefer older children. I don't like playing pretend games and running around and mess. Obviously I did it but I didn't like it! My DS is 15. He can dress himself, get himself to school, have a good conversation, helps me around the house. Much more enjoyable.

AppleCinnamonBagel · 04/05/2023 06:50

When my DD was aged 2-3 we both had the best time at home, I do remember having time to read a book with her, make cakes with my little helper and just being with her watching her find out about the world. She also went to nursery 4 mornings a week so had lots of friends from there, looking back it was idyllic!

Reading back through my diaries though I was stressing due to money issues, not debt but just too much month left at the end of the money (I was working while she was at nursery; work was very stressful too) and I worried that I wasn't doing enough for her.

She's now 27 and has grown up to be a generous, confident and thoughtful individual so I'm guessing we got something right!

Flittingaboutagain · 04/05/2023 06:52

In those days with two and love love love it. So I'll be posting like you down the line.

sheusesmagazines · 04/05/2023 06:55

YANBU, I just went back to work 3 months ago after my second. I'm not having another. It's depressing, I loved my maternity leave. Now I feel like I'm being pulled in 1000 directions and failing at work( at home, and with the kids.

lljkk · 04/05/2023 07:00

It's like ageing, everything else that changes. You want to appreciate each stage for its own merits not hark back to some supposed ideal. That way misery lies.

YWP · 04/05/2023 07:06

Yes this is me! I keep dreaming of being a stay at home mum and doing the school runs etc.

I love mat leave and hate my job, well paid but high pressure and I would rather be with my kids.

The days are hard with a new baby but it’s lovely just laying in bed having cuddles

ShippingNews · 04/05/2023 07:08

My dad is 36 and I still miss that bubble. Luckily, she now has a dd and a ds, so I get to enjoy sharing the bubble with them.

Bumble84 · 04/05/2023 07:15

I wonder if I’ll feel this way sometimes as well. I wonder if it is because you miss the days or you miss the way your very young children saw the world? When I take my toddler to the park I love the way she gets excited when she sees a bumble bee or a tree or whatever else. I sometimes wish my brain could also work that way and just be more amazed at the wonderful things around us instead of getting bogged down with daily stresses and worries.

AssertiveGertrude · 04/05/2023 07:17

mine are mid primary end fairly independent and I have to say I couldn’t go back to the baby stage though I loved being a mum (I was quite lonely and didn’t make any time for my own needs)

but I do understand that it’s nice to be cosy at home with no work stress (lot of conflict in ours)

MathsNervous · 04/05/2023 07:19

They aren't yours once they start school. It's an old saying but so true! All of mine are in school and I know exactly what you mean OP. I do reminisce to those early days.

bussteward · 04/05/2023 07:22

I didn’t get a bubble first time around as DD was a colicky nightmare non-sleeping baby plus we added moving house, bereavement and a pandemic to the mix so it all just felt like a horrifying tired blur. But comparative to going back to work and having to manage work, life and the nursery run and a child it was a bubble!

I’m in the lovely bubble of a glorious easy five month old dream baby right now and it’s lovely, although obviously with added nursery runs – soon to be school runs. There’s time for the house to look nice, interesting meals to be made, life admin and cleaning to get done without it feeling like it takes up every iota of time, and my days are basically reading books, writing, walks, cuddles and gazing into my lovely baby’s face. Dreading the return to work. Absolutely don’t want to. But don’t want to stay at home full time with a toddler either, I’d go bananas. And can’t keep having babies to maintain the bubble as I can’t afford it and I’m an old gimmer. Winning the lottery it is, then.

Flicksa · 04/05/2023 07:25

I'm a sahm with a 12mo and we've been doing a fair bit of rushing around on mat leave - booked baby classes every day, fitting in all the chores and errands during nap time, loads of kids events and days out. The only time we just lounged at home all day was the first six weeks of c-section recovery.

UnsureSchool32 · 04/05/2023 07:26

Oh gosh yes OP loved loved my time at home with my DCs. It’s good to be working again (financially and for my mental health overall) but now I concentrate on just doing as much as I can with them, getting my cuddles in before they might not want so many cuddles as teens!

MaybeBabyTwo · 04/05/2023 07:28

Posts like this make me sad because I'm living it right now, loving it and know every day that it is slipping through my fingers 😔 I feel sad for parenting the next stages. I've loved every single day of her nearly 3yrs so far - not every minute in it, of course, some bits of parenting are shit, but each age and stage so far has been my favourite. I'll be so sad when that stops.

Beezknees · 04/05/2023 07:30

MathsNervous · 04/05/2023 07:19

They aren't yours once they start school. It's an old saying but so true! All of mine are in school and I know exactly what you mean OP. I do reminisce to those early days.

I'm sorry but that's a load of rubbish.

Flubadubba · 04/05/2023 07:32

I hated the tiny baby stage- though we had lockdown start 6 months in, and I had PPD and PPA which probably coloured my view.

My 3.5 year old is honestly the funniest, most interesting person I know. She is a September baby, so won't go to school until 2024, and I'm already feeling a little sad about us losing our dedicated day. However, I know she will have an awesome time, so it feels like that is a little selfish!

dottiedodah · 04/05/2023 07:54

TiredinWorthing.Agree 100%! My happiest times were when my DC were small.Afternoons baking ,reading having a nap(both of us) Morning dog walking ,seeing friends and going to the beach. Halycon times

MathsNervous · 04/05/2023 08:27

Beezknees · 04/05/2023 07:30

I'm sorry but that's a load of rubbish.

Show quote history

Not really. The state dictates when they are schooled, and when they are on holiday. It's just a different world to how it was in the formative years. Less spontaneity.

Shinyandnew1 · 04/05/2023 08:32

I loved maternity leaves and not having to get up at 6, de-ice the car, work long days and do all the housework in the evenings. I liked not having to do school runs, make lunchboxes and hurry all the time.

Being off work with no real deadlines is much nicer than working and always rushing!

Inthedarkagain · 04/05/2023 08:34

I've found it all really stressful. I never had easy babies that slept and worked full time at 9 months. I like working, but full time is too much and I've been chronically stressed for the last eight years. I just look back and think it was bloody hard. I wish I was in the bubble of not having children sometimes, and although I love them dearly, I just need a fucking break from it all.

My fondest memories were when I was pregnant with first and very naïve about what lay ahead. My second pregnancy was crap.

Thehollygrail · 04/05/2023 08:36

@Inthedarkagain i hear that

my baby/toddler was going to be like the ones described above

sadly not

BeyondMyWits · 04/05/2023 08:42

I was bored in the baby days to be honest, the day to day drudgery punctuated by joy was not a bubble for me. Toddler days were worse, as for teens omg (I am not the most "natural" motherly type... sorry... it is what it is)

But now... my daughters are at uni, they drift in and out of our lives as strong, capable young women out to take on the world. Independent living, independent thinkers who help out, who are respectful, yet not afraid to challenge the status quo. We have a lovely relationship, maybe it is my "bubble" time now.

Swipe left for the next trending thread