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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner told me to stop making a scene .....aibu?

100 replies

zerofgiven · 02/05/2023 13:53

We went away for the bank holiday weekend.
It was £250 for two nights room only in the city centre of Manchester.
Anyway get to the hotel (we have stayed before ) and checked in
Got to the room and was met with the loudest outdoor air con units right outside our window.
Our view was literally air con units.
The air con was off in the room but the noise from them sounded like a plane taking off.
It was a tiny room right at the end of corridor and you couldn't even get into both sides of the bed.
There was no way I could sleep with that noise.
So I rang reception and the said straight away "oh yeah we get lots of people wanting to switch rooms "and to go down to reception and speak with manager.
Get off the phone to be met by my partner saying "I was making a scene and he was too embarrassed to go down to reception "
I don't understand I wasn't shouting,I was so polite
I said "hi we are on room 207 and just checked in ,explained the noise and the fact we were light sleepers and asked if anything could be done to move us to another room "

So partner wouldn't come to reception he literally hid on the landing whilst I went in
Manager was lovely and switched us rooms and apologised -no issue
Was I wrong to do this?
Should I just have stayed in that room and not slept ?

OP posts:
HungryandIknowit · 02/05/2023 13:54

It's fine, your partner was being ridiculous.

Freshair1 · 02/05/2023 13:54

He's a prat. You're not being unreasonable.

Hoppinggreen · 02/05/2023 13:54

I would have no respect at all for a man like that

nakeklak · 02/05/2023 13:54

No, your husband sounds like a wimp

Timeforabiscuit · 02/05/2023 13:55

Of course not! A scene is not politely asking if a different room is available.

Strugglingtodomybest · 02/05/2023 13:55

Your partner is afraid of confrontation. That in no way whatsoever is "making a scene". It was a perfectly normal response.

MojacaSunset · 02/05/2023 13:56

I would have done exactly what you did.
He is an idiot!!!

19lottie82 · 02/05/2023 13:56

Some people just don’t like complaining and would rather put up with it (not me 😂). But YANBU, tell your partner to man up and stop being such a wimp. You’ve paid a decent amount and should have a comfortable room.

Original poster
zerofgiven · 02/05/2023 13:57

Well exactly
I don't expect the ritz -a bed to sleep in,a kettle and somewhere to have a wash
I'm so grumpy if I don't sleep
Surely a basic requirement of a hotel is to sleep

OP posts:
EmmasRegurgitatedShrimps · 02/05/2023 14:00

I get this from my stbxdh. He likes to police my conduct with other people. He’d rather seethe about a problem and take it out on me than request anything from others.

Sunraes · 02/05/2023 14:03

Hoppinggreen · 02/05/2023 13:54

I would have no respect at all for a man like that

Me neither.

UWhatNow · 02/05/2023 14:05

What a pillock. Does he go through life being a doormat?

JFDIYOLO · 02/05/2023 14:07

What a wet lettuce.

Does he step up and support you in other difficult situations, OP?

2bazookas · 02/05/2023 14:07

You knew how to get a better room that was better suited to you.

So I reckon you also know how to get a better partner who's better suited to you.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/05/2023 14:08

I hope you're not married to this man. What a massive, massive turn off. This is your future if you stay with him. He'll always be the timid little boy and you'll have to deal with everything.

AlwaysAuntie · 02/05/2023 14:14

I hate confrontation and have been known to suffer in silence rather than speak up, though wouldn't cower if anyone else spoke up on my/our behalf. Also I probably would speak with reception if I were in your position because I need sleep and am v grumpy if I don’t get enough.

Northernsoullover · 02/05/2023 14:15

Recently, I stayed in a holiday Inn express and a premier, so nothing fancy. Premier room stunk of weed and Holiday Inn cigarette smoke. My partner was pleased I said something but admitted he wouldn't have said anything himself. Why are they like this? If he had said I'd made a scene I would have rethought our relationship.

honeylulu · 02/05/2023 14:29

My husband wouldn't have said anything either as he likes everyone to think he's a nice guy. He's happy for me to sort it though!!! And I do mainly because he will gripe and moan about it endlessly whilst failing to take any steps.

pontipinemum · 02/05/2023 14:31

You did not even slightly cause a scene! You politely asked to be moved room, and they moved you. I'd have asked too.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 02/05/2023 14:32

You asked for a different room, there's absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about

I think my fanny would snap shut in the presence of such a wet lettuce

SavBlancTonight · 02/05/2023 14:32

Ugh. What a plonker. Assuming you're telling the truth and had a perfectly normal and polite conversation, this is perfectly reasonable. And hotels expect it - especially in rooms that have these sorts of issues.

When I had a similar air con issue a few months ago - we not only got moved, we landed up being upgraded! Admittedly, for various reason, I suspect our room was one they weren't able to rent out at the time as the window couldn't closed but as I specifically asked for one that could be opened to avoid the air con noise, they took the gap! Everyone was happy!

gelatogina · 02/05/2023 14:33

You did nothing wrong at all, I would have (and have) done the same thing

SmallFerret · 02/05/2023 14:37

Manager was lovely and switched us rooms and apologised -no issue
Was I wrong to do this?
Should I just have stayed in that room and not slept ?

Your DH is a wet lettuce. How has he managed to make you feel that his whinging makes you automatically in the wrong?

Does he often ensure that you are the one making necessary stuff happen, so that he doesn't have to ... then take out his emaculated resentment of your competence by undermining you for it?

silverbubbles · 02/05/2023 14:39

Is partner a man or a mouse?

TiredButDancing · 02/05/2023 14:41

Does he often ensure that you are the one making necessary stuff happen, so that he doesn't have to ... then take out his emaculated resentment of your competence by undermining you for it?

This.

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