Page 8 | Finders keepers?

AldiBag4Life · 2023-04-30T20:31:50+00:00

My DD18 told me last week she found an item of jewellery in a grass verge randomly one day when she was out walking to work - 6 months ago. I recently complemented her wearing it and asked about it - she told me she found it and said she assumed it was just junk jewellery, but it turns out from my research when I looked at it the markings, it’s worth quite a lot of money. It has no personal inscription on it (its *not a ring) *and I haven’t seen a post on our local group from anyone who has lost anything although I did tell her she could put a post up and if anyone described it then she should give it back. She hasn’t put a post up and she is planning on keeping it, not cos it’s worth money she just likes it, she isn’t selling it. I’m kind of feeling weird about it because it might be sentimental to someone. WWYD?

KimberleyClark · 01/05/2023 10:57

She can ask on the local FB/NextDoor pages, at least.

FancyFanny · 01/05/2023 10:59

LimeCheesecake · 01/05/2023 10:55

Those saying the police won’t be interested - if they have already had a report of it being lost, they won’t have thrown that report away because it’s been 6 months, they will reunite it with its owner.

given it’s worth around £500, then it’s more likely someone will have reported it.

No they won't because the police don't even take reports of lost jewellery- as already established.

FairyPrincess123 · 01/05/2023 12:09

FancyFanny · 01/05/2023 10:59

No they won't because the police don't even take reports of lost jewellery- as already established.

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But as also already established the police will recommend both losers and finders particular databases they can use.

someoneisalwaysintheloo · 01/05/2023 12:40

You are your DD have been unfairly piled upon here by the moral police.

If course women should always know and do everything perfectly at all times

LightDrizzle · 01/05/2023 13:24

“If course women should always know and do everything perfectly at all time”

Adults, not just women, where’s that come from? Anyway, OP say her DD gets it now.

It’s clear from this thread that plenty of people are surprised that an 18 year old wouldn’t join the dots between them finding something worth keeping and someone else having lost their thing worth keeping and that the owner might be sorry or upset to have lost it. Or never to have lost something themselves and been upset. I know schools and parents work on empathy and that the adolescent brain isn’t fully developed in that respect until as old as 25, but it’s a pretty important capacity to have. You may find my moral policing offensive, but then I’m shocked by the posters on here who take the “finders keepers, losers weepers” view. Let’s hope they don’t lose something of sentimental or monetary value only for a like minded finder to happen upon it.

Alondra · 01/05/2023 13:38

Some threads never disappoint in MN.

An 18 y.o finds a piece of jewellery she thinks is junk, doesn't think of it and keeps it.

Mom finds out 6 months later the item is valuable and advises daughter to try and find the owner.

Daughter is labelled a vile thief.

Mother's parenting is questioned.

You could make a movie from so much crap. Fucking unbelievable.

SorePaw · 01/05/2023 14:14

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2023 06:42

She needs to get help to find the owner? Like a private detective??

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@SleepingStandingUp

Don't be stupid.

LuluCurl · 01/05/2023 14:17

Alondra · 01/05/2023 13:38

Some threads never disappoint in MN.

An 18 y.o finds a piece of jewellery she thinks is junk, doesn't think of it and keeps it.

Mom finds out 6 months later the item is valuable and advises daughter to try and find the owner.

Daughter is labelled a vile thief.

Mother's parenting is questioned.

You could make a movie from so much crap. Fucking unbelievable.

It’s mad. You never know what you’re gonna get with mumsnet. Keeps it exciting I suppose. 😏

switswooo · 01/05/2023 14:18

SleepingStandingUp · 01/05/2023 06:42

She needs to get help to find the owner? Like a private detective??

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Let’s get Inspector Gadget on the case. Hercule Poirot won’t be interested 🤣

Goodoccasionallypoor · 01/05/2023 15:03

So many over the top comments on this thread!

I once found an envelope with £420 in cash. I took it to the local police station and they were surprised I'd brought it in and said no one goes to them for lost property.

They took my details, told me to hold onto it for a few months and said if they didn't call, I could consider it mine. They didn't call.

Notimeforaname · 01/05/2023 15:07

I personally have never heard of someone being arrested for finding something on the ground. I think she's fine to keep it.

ChairFloorWall · 01/05/2023 15:13

LightDrizzle · 01/05/2023 08:55

She certainly knows now that it’s not a piece of crap jewellery and it’s not all about value. I wear a cream bangle I wouldn’t choose out of a shop if it was reduced to 2p but I wear it almost daily because my mum had done since her sister bought it for her in the 70s and it was on her wrist when she died with me bedside. Jewellery is such a common item to have sentimentality attached, it’s the go to significant birthday/ wedding/ birth of child/ gift and a very common thing to be specifically bequeathed to people.

Empathy because it’s something children generally have to learn and parents and schools put a lot effort into it from them being small, all that “How would you feel if Chloe wouldn’t give you your gel pen back?” OP’s daughter is a legal adult now and if I were her mum, I’d be more worried by the fact that the feelings of the owner hadn’t occurred to her than by the technical criminality.

I’ve been lucky enough to regain things I’ve dropped or left behind because decent people have handed them in. Of course I would do the same.

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Yeah she wasn’t doing it be nasty though was she. You never did anything thoughtless when you were young did you not?

Calling a girl cold and criminal was just ridiculously over the top for no reason whatsoever.

Yes most of us would reunite things with their owner - but a young woman has had a moment of carelessness. It happens everyday - people in a rush shoving others, ignoring people etc. Get off your bloody high horse.

GalileoHumpkins · 01/05/2023 15:18

Bloody hell, lock her in the stocks and let the mumsnet morality police throw rotten veg at her 🙄

girlfriend44 · 01/05/2023 15:43

How selfish. Just ask her how she'd like it if, she lost something and the finder didn't advertise the fact they found it.

Do unto others as you would wish done to you?

Ineedaduvetday · 01/05/2023 15:45

An 18 y.o finds a piece of jewellery she thinks is junk, doesn't think of it and keeps it.

A £500 piece of jewellery that she just 'happens' to find in the grass? Pull the other one.

LuluCurl · 01/05/2023 15:50

Ineedaduvetday · 01/05/2023 15:45

An 18 y.o finds a piece of jewellery she thinks is junk, doesn't think of it and keeps it.

A £500 piece of jewellery that she just 'happens' to find in the grass? Pull the other one.

A £500 piece of jewellery really won’t look that different to something worth £15 to a lot of people.

determinedtomakethiswork · 01/05/2023 15:54

snitzelvoncrumb · 01/05/2023 05:43

I would make sure she understands the possible consequences if someone sees her with it and is charged with theft. But let her make her own decision. If you are worried she is lacking empathy wait a few months and if she leaves something very special lying around take it and let her think she has lost it. Let her be devastated for a few months before it being returned by a stranger. She is only 18 and may not have actually understand how the person who lost the item feels. If explaining it won’t make a difference maybe attempt to teach her. I would also be very upset if one of my kids kept something valuable without trying to find the owner. But like most life lessons some people need to experience something first hand to understand.

That is absolutely insane.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 01/05/2023 16:26

You may find my moral policing offensive, but then I’m shocked by the posters on here who take the “finders keepers, losers weepers” view.

It's very sad that a whole load of adults seem to run their lives by a silly primary school maxim. Do they also think that anybody complaining about an unpleasant smell is therefore scientifically proven to have farted? I suppose that, because "Don't take something that doesn't belong to you" isn't snappy and doesn't rhyme, that must automatically make it untrue.

As I (and others) have asked upthread, how do you actually define 'finding'? If you go from the entitled point of view that anything that isn't yours could be yours to just help yourself to, it's probably not that hard to engineer 'finding' it without caring too much whether the owner has actually lost it.

Do you have to keep your possessions locked up or gripped in your hand at all times, to avoid becoming a 'loser' and thus technically it being 'your own fault' according to the playground Del Boys on here? I suppose this would also apply to burglary or mugging victims too - no sympathy for you, because the playground 'law' states that if you lose something, the finder/taker gains the automatic ownership rights fair and square?

girlfriend44 · 01/05/2023 16:29

HerMammy · 01/05/2023 00:27

I’d be horrified and embarrassed if I’d brought my daughter up to be dishonest and lacking in integrity. It’s no better than stealing if she has not handed it into the police station. What a poor excuse for a human being, appalling !

Good god, what an awful overreaction, she's not robbed a bank.

She's showing signs of dishonesty though, it could get worse if not nipped in the bud.

PenelopeTitsDrop3121 · 01/05/2023 16:35

InceyWinceySpidy · 30/04/2023 22:21

I know it's not the point of the matter, but how much is it actually worth?

Value is irrelevant. It's probably priceless and irreplaceable to someone who has lost it.

GabriellaMontez · 01/05/2023 16:35

snitzelvoncrumb · 01/05/2023 05:43

I would make sure she understands the possible consequences if someone sees her with it and is charged with theft. But let her make her own decision. If you are worried she is lacking empathy wait a few months and if she leaves something very special lying around take it and let her think she has lost it. Let her be devastated for a few months before it being returned by a stranger. She is only 18 and may not have actually understand how the person who lost the item feels. If explaining it won’t make a difference maybe attempt to teach her. I would also be very upset if one of my kids kept something valuable without trying to find the owner. But like most life lessons some people need to experience something first hand to understand.

You're a lunatic.

PenelopeTitsDrop3121 · 01/05/2023 16:38

saltinesandcoffeecups · 01/05/2023 00:07

Oh good grief… settle down everyone, the OP’s daughter found a bit of jewelry that had been laying there for who knows how long. She’s not Ma Barker setting out on a life of crime. It’s not the missing piece of evidence in the crime of the century. Nor will there be a panic in a few days when the Crown Jewels have turned up missing.

How do you know that?

FancyFanny · 01/05/2023 16:41

girlfriend44 · 01/05/2023 16:29

She's showing signs of dishonesty though, it could get worse if not nipped in the bud.

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FFS! How many more times do people need to be told that the police won't take in items of found jewellery- the most you are expected to do is put a note in a shop window or post something on social media.

Ineedaduvetday · 01/05/2023 17:01

LuluCurl · 01/05/2023 15:50

A £500 piece of jewellery really won’t look that different to something worth £15 to a lot of people.

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Not the point I was making. How many times in your life have you happened to find £500 worth of jewellery, or any costume jewellery, just lying on the grass somewhere. There's a far bigger story here.

GalileoHumpkins · 01/05/2023 17:19

There's a far bigger story here

I'm sure someone will be along in a minute to completely make one up.