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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Curfew for 16 year old daughter

104 replies

JMSA · 30/04/2023 02:12

For anyone with a 16 year old daughter (nearly 17 in my case), I'd be interested to know what time they must be home by at weekends.
My daughter has her first boyfriend, and I understand that this is very new and exciting for her. She and her best friend have been round his house tonight. She is still not home (it's just after 2am) and I am furious. I was visiting my dad in hospital in a different city today, and didn't see my daughter before she left to go out. So we hadn't agreed on a time, which is probably unreasonable of me. However she could take it as read that 2am is much, much too late. Her friend is sleeping over here, which means I'm also responsible for someone else's child. Daughter was answering my texts earlier, but is now ignoring my calls. I am worried but also furious. It is unacceptable and inconsiderate on her part.
What would you do?

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 30/04/2023 18:36

Times have sure have changed, at that age I was just going out at some of these curfew times 😲

I think my mum had a good balance …If I wasn’t home by 12 I had to call and let her know I was alive and where I was (It was ok to say I was at a party)…I had to call her again @ 2 am if still not home. I had to wake her up when I got home.

I also worked until about 9-10pm on Friday and Saturday nights so I would have had no social life if my curfew was early.

ThePensivePig · 30/04/2023 18:51

I had no curfew whatsoever at that age (back in the mists of time, late 80s!) I thought it was fantastic and some of my friends were envious. Unfortunately for me, the lack of appropriate boundaries led to me finding myself in some very dangerous / unsavoury situations with extremely dodgy people. Now that I'm a parent myself, I'm considerably stricter than my Mum ever was with me. My son in Year 12 (17, nearly 18) has a midnight curfew, unless specially agreed eg if he's going to a gig out of town. I see it as me caring enough to insist on some boundaries.

saltandpepper86 · 30/04/2023 19:37

My 17year old curfew is non existent, if he's out and not home by 11 or when I'm going to bed if it's before that then I will text him and ask what time he will be home and check he's got a key but he normally comes home around 10 if it's a college night (self regulated)

My 14 year old has to be home by 10 on a weekend but he is always at a friend's house, I'd probably be stricter if he was just roaming the streets

Yalta · 19/08/2023 10:40

When I was 16 I had already left home and was living in a flat share and had a f/t job
If I didn’t get in till 2.30am then that was up to me.

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