To be utterly seething at the audacity of STBXDP and his family?

[Perpetuallyexhaustedtoddlermum]

I had a nagging feeling yesterday in light of the abuse I've been experiencing that I should prepare a go bag with myself and DS essential documents and some clothing so I could pass it over to my Ddad when he's next visiting.
I come to find my own birth certificate but DS birth certificate has miraculously gone missing, I go onto the website to reorder one and I see that my sons name has been changed 3 times without my consent. I confronted soon to be exDP and he was so obviously lying that I know he took the birth certificate and put himself right in it when he said that a child's name can't be changed without parental consent and I know his mother is involved because he's thick as shit, she's the brains of the operation.
I can't understand why or how they've done this, DS is known to the Drs and the health visitor under the name I believe he had.
What on earth can I do about this other than obviously go to the police after I've spoken to my councils births, deaths and marriages department to ask for what proof was provided to do the name changes and make it known that I didn't consent to any of it and mention that he is still known by his name at with health services and the DWP and HMRC on my benefits awards.

Oh my that is awful. If he has faked your signature it is a criminal matter and fraudulent. You should get the police involved.

Might he want to be on it so he can get a passport for your child which aligns with his name? Presumably he could then take the child away/abroad without your permission? I'd take this very seriously.

My understanding is that you can only change a child's name the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility. So if he's done it without your knowledge there must have been fraud involved.

That sounds incredibly sinister. I suggest speaking to Women's Aid or Rights of Women.

Get out this weekend if you can do so safely then worry about the whys and wherefores of what he's done with the help of Refuge or similar.

Report to the police if he has falsified your signature.

Go the police, seriously.
Don't fuck about with this either, it's sinister AF.

Sorry you're in this situation

YANBU to be seething, but what you need to be doing is seeking legal advice.

I would post on the legal board with a title like ‘Help! STBX has changed child’s name behind my back’ and get advice from the experienced legal people there before contacting a solicitor on Tuesday morning.

Though you might be able get advice from Women’s Aid in the meantime.

Is there any chance he is planning to take your child overseas?

Thanks for the replies everyone. As far as I know he can't take DS out of the country because he himself doesn't have a passport and is a British citizen with no dual nationality. It could be to completely hobble me and prevent me from taking DS overseas on holiday and more importantly prevent me from leaving and DS from accessing services like nursery and school.

How old is DC?

He's 2 in July

Just clocked: nursery.
Sorry.
I was just wondering if DC was old enough to ‘consent’ to a coerced name change, OP.
It’s so incredibly hard to the point of impossible to do this. Your ex is a crafty one! My ex is in prison for sexually abusing our DD and it’s taken a year of court proceedings and finally a court order for me to finally change her name. Yet your ex was able to do it so easily! Scary!!
I know an excellent direct access barrister who can advise you on this issue but he’s not cheap. The upside is he’ll definitely solve your dilemma, I’ve no doubt.

Also, are there family proceedings in place at present?

.

@TheVanguardSix no family court stuff yet but there will be. I'm utterly puzzled as to how on earth they've done this yet DS legal name remains the same on all his important documents.
I think once I've rectified this mess I'll be filing a prohibited steps order preventing any name changes in the future.

You need proper advise, but in the mean time I would get any replacement certificates or paper work sent to your dad's, not to your house, and I would keep a record somewhere secure of what has happened and his reaction.

I didn’t think you could change a name on a birth certificate? Only do a deed poll name change?

So not having court proceedings in place has made it much easier for him to commit a crime. This is a criminal offence. I’ll paste some information I’ve copied- this must be what he’s done. Ballsy!! And that’s an understatement!

“To change a child’s name by deed poll, everyone with parental responsibility for the child must agree to the change of name in writing. Official bodies will insist on seeing this written consent (as well as the deed poll) when you update the child’s records.
Alternatively, you can make a statutory declaration confirming that everyone with parental responsibility has agreed to the change of name. However this is only possible if there are no court orders in forceconcerning the child — otherwise, you must have everyone’s written consent. Note that making a false statutory declaration is a criminal offence.”

What part of his name has changed? You can change/add all name except I believe surnames with only one parents consent up until the age of one?

So I changed my sons middle name when he was about 5 months old. He had his ‘dads’ name as a middle name and he disappeared about 3 weeks after he was born (he’s 12 now!) so I went along to the registry office and swapped it out for my dads name.

So certain bits can be changed but not all.

You need legal advice and you need to leave now.

It used to be if you were not married the man couldn't even register a birth on his own and make any changes to the birth certificate. I changed my DSs certificate before he was 12 months old. I didn't think you could change it after that?

He's hoping to clip your wings taking your DS anywhere. I don't understand why he did it multiple times.

This is what you can do, not surnames though so if he’s changed that he’s likely forged something somewhere and it’s a crime which you need to report to the police.

That's in America

Yep. I couldn’t find some literature that was based for England. But I am in England, Yorkshire. And what I’m saying (back in 2011 anyway) is correct.

You can change first and middle names with only one parent’s consent at the registry office. You have to pay a small fee and buy a new certificate but that’s it. You can’t change surnames without both parents consent though.

https://www.tameside.gov.uk/Registrars/Changing-a-Child-s-Name-After-Registration#:~:text=Changing%20Details%20on%20a%20Birth%20Certificate&text=If%20you%20decide%20to%20change,on%20the%20original%20birth%20registration.

Some English based for clarity. Same thing though.

It sounds to me like your partner or his mother are controlling to the point of being mentally ill or disordered. I wouldn't get bogged down in what he/they have done, if needs be you can do a deed poll to undo the name changes. Stay on course with your plan to leave as soon as possible and take all the paperwork you have with you.