To be utterly seething at the audacity of STBXDP and his family?

[Perpetuallyexhaustedtoddlermum]

I had a nagging feeling yesterday in light of the abuse I've been experiencing that I should prepare a go bag with myself and DS essential documents and some clothing so I could pass it over to my Ddad when he's next visiting.
I come to find my own birth certificate but DS birth certificate has miraculously gone missing, I go onto the website to reorder one and I see that my sons name has been changed 3 times without my consent. I confronted soon to be exDP and he was so obviously lying that I know he took the birth certificate and put himself right in it when he said that a child's name can't be changed without parental consent and I know his mother is involved because he's thick as shit, she's the brains of the operation.
I can't understand why or how they've done this, DS is known to the Drs and the health visitor under the name I believe he had.
What on earth can I do about this other than obviously go to the police after I've spoken to my councils births, deaths and marriages department to ask for what proof was provided to do the name changes and make it known that I didn't consent to any of it and mention that he is still known by his name at with health services and the DWP and HMRC on my benefits awards.

Funny enough ex DP has consented to me changing DS to my name and I have proof of consent through text messages that he agrees to the name change and he's signed the consent letters and statements to go with the deed poll. So initially you did both agree to a name change? But the one you agreed was different and didn't happen? So instead he's done three deeds of change which you hadn't agreed? Sorry for the questions. I'm just trying to follow. Why did you want to change the name in the first place?

No he changed DS to my name at first without my consent and then followed that with the madness of 2 other name changes.
This current name change was proposed and deed poll was made this month before I realised what the shifty bastard had done.

I can't get away without raising suspicions. Once I leave I have to leave for good. Change my bank details and phone number. Literally everything because after this, I don't know how far he's willing to go now to have total control.

So he's changed sons name by deed poll? Thats a very complicated process for a child, you dont just 'do it'

Check The Gazette- if it doesnt appear, its not official - by then you say it is because its attached to a birth record

to Change the name of a child under 18 you can either:

• make an unenrolled deed poll by using a specialist deed poll agency or a solicitor
• apply for an enrolled deed poll from the Royal Courts of Justice

If you choose an enrolled deed poll, this means your child’s new name will usually appear on public record in The Gazette. Some organisations will only accept an enrolled deed poll as proof of a name change. Ask the organisation you’re dealing with which type of deed poll they’ll need. If you’re 16 or 17 you can choose to make your own unenrolled deed poll. Apply for an enrolled deed pollYou’ll need either:

• the agreement of everyone with parental responsibility
• a court order

You must try to reach agreement before you seek a court order. If everyone with parental responsibility agreesDownload and complete the forms for changing a child’s name - this includes the notification form for The Gazette. It costs £42.44 to apply. Send your forms and documents to the King’s Bench Division. If you’re worried about your child’s name change being published in The Gazette, contact the King’s Bench Division. For example, they may agree to only publish your child’s first name. King’s Bench Division Enforcement Section

Room E15
The Royal Courts of Justice
Strand
London
WC2A 2LL

Telephone: 020 3936 8957 (choose option 6)
Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm

This may be WAY off base and maybe it couldn't happen in the UK, but here (US) it's been known to happen that unscrupulous parents/relatives change a child's name in order to take out credit in those names.

I'd also check the UK passport office to see if a passport has been taken out in any of the name changes if 'absconding' to another country is a possibility.

I just think it's so bizarre to do three changes! What's the point of that? That's what's making me wonder about either credit fraud or benefits fraud, like applying for child benefits in one or all of the other names.

If it is to claim benefits I just cannot fathom how a child can be used like this for a measly few thousand pound a year. A child. Innocent child being used for fathers gain and he's not even 2. Disgusting 🤢

Wow so the change you agreed was actually the FOURTH deed poll prepared (and which doesn't seem to have been sent to the council registry yet). It's very suspicious behaviour but it also makes no sense at all. Do you have any idea what the motivation is?

Second this. I think you're best focusing on the full relationship. This is just one aspect. This charity will be able to signpost you and suggest things you hadn't even thought of

Yeah that's right. Fourth deed poll and it's not been sent to the registry yet because I need to have them signed by my witness which my dad is helping me with (his friend will witness) I've got 7 copies but ex DP thinks there's only one. Once they're signed then I'll give a copy to the registry with strict instructions that any other name changes have to be authorised by me in person as suggested by a previous poster.

I feel the same. I was sick to my stomach when I saw it but now I'm just angry. The only person that should be claiming anything for my DS is me as I'm the resident parent and his main carer on all benefits.

None of what you have said makes sense if you are based in England or Wales.
The register office is not remotely interested in any change of name deed or deed poll.

They are most definitely not 'attached' to the birth registration.

Hmm could it be a scam thing his family are involved in? Claiming there are different children for some reason.

This.
It can all be sorted when you’re both safely away. Sounds fraudulent but you can go to police, councils etc.. once you’re both out of his way. Please stay safe.

I dont think the deed poll is attached to a birth certificate? Not sure how the register office could show you this but I could be wrong.
From doing checks on new starters at work I've seen that the birth certificate stays the same as it was registered and the person supplies that along with the deed poll to prove their new name is actually them.

Some of your posts are confusing as to what's actually happened but it sounds awful and you definitely need legal advice

How did you see it though? Surely when you put a search in youd have used your DCs original name?

The best way to explain it is that when I went to order the birth certificate copy, I saw 3 other names directly above the name DS was registered as but within the same entry number so I know it's DS and I know that somehow they've managed to do that but I don't know how. I can't wait till Tuesday so I can speak to the registrar myself.

@Soontobe60 yes I did search DS original name and all the linked names appeared above it in the same birth entry.

The only person that should be claiming anything for my DS is me as I'm the resident parent and his main carer on all benefits.

If he's not living with you both, why can't you just leave?

There was an AMA registrar who might still be around you could ask there? I will find the link

Kinda complicated ex DP is still on the tenancy and has keys to the flat. He also turns up when he wants to and knowing my luck it'll be just as I'm trying to get out the door. I think I'll secretly pack up and wait for him to visit and then leave once he's left because then he won't be back for at least a day

Do you have some support OP? Somewhere to go?

He could have a passport for himself and your child without your knowledge. Does he have family abroad? Are you married? Is he on the birth certificate? Can’t see why he would do this unless it’s for a sinister reason. Go to police, go to the birth registration place as well.

Nothing to do with child benefit.
You have to supply the birth certificate to put in a claim. Even if there's been a name change by deed poll, it won't generate any form of benefit payment, as you'd have to supply the original birth cert details and the name change.

I'd be more concerned you've had a child with an absolute nutter who thinks he can just come and go as he pleases, and can't even figure out how to do a deed poll.

Take some responsibility for your child and get the fuck away from him.

I was wondering that.

Iirc, you need a birth certificate to claim CB, and the child element of UC goes to whoever gets the CB.

They've stolen the original birth certificate. That's my point. The overall situation is one of domestic abuse. I have to be very calculated in my actions or he could escalate in a serious way. If you've not had domestic abuse, you won't understand.
And for the record, I have responsibility for my child which is why I'm not acting before thinking.