Heartbroken and totally let down by education system

[Amatueuragonyaunt]

I'm after advice (and a bit of a vent). Ever since the start of the COVID fiasco, my two children (then 5 and 8 years old) have been totally failed by the state sector. My daughter is bright, but was not being pushed and was losing self confidence because of a lack of feedback and attention, so we moved her to a selective independent school where she is now thriving. The finances were (and are) a stretch, so we left our DS in the state system with the plan to see how things went and then move him at the same age as we moved our daughter (10). However, his needs are at the other end of the spectrum. It became apparent to us during pandemic home learning that there was some issue going on, but it took a further year before the school took it seriously enough to commission an assessment and another year after that before we got the report. It turns out he has severe dyslexia. This came as a both a surprise and not because we had suspected something, but generally his school reports were good with just a few weaker areas. Anyway, fast forward a few months when a load of interventions have supposedly been put in place - we don't feel confident that he's making much progress and we're aware of other children in the class with severe behavioural issues which were taking up the TAs time in entirety (so no support for anyone else). As such, we brought forward our quest to go independent and arranged taster days at a local non-selective school with good SENCO provision. Our boy loved it. However - here's the rub - the school won't offer him a place because he is more than two years behind the other children in that class. Needless to say, he's feeling pretty despondent about it, but what I'm fuming about is how his current school let it get that bad and not even tell us. Everything that has been put in place for him has only come about because we forced the issue and, when we were doing it, we were made to feel like we were overreacting and we're even told that actually our son was a bit lazy. This was before the report came out. This is an 8 year old who has been turned down for entry at a non-selective school that we are prepared to pay for because he is too far behind his peers. How is it that we have to send him in taster days just to find out how bad things are? The fact it's all come to light in a way which has left our son utterly gutted is the final straw. We didn't see it coming so couldn't manage expectations. We now have a situation where one child is flying and getting tons of opportunities while the other is completely shafted and there seems to be nothing we can do about it except give the current school a rocket (and what difference will that make?). To say I am fuming is an understatement. Anyone had similar or have any words of comfort or advice?

PS - the current school is supposedly 'outstanding' according to Ofsted, but it's not worked at all for our kids.

Yes, exactly this. EXACTLY.

I have been teaching for well over a decade. The system has been so completely dismantled in that time that it’s scary to look back at.

In my class ten years ago I might have had one or two children with mild SEND, plus a full time TA and extra support groups being run. There were very rarely any children with behavioural difficulties, and if there were we could access LA support for them. This year I have:

5 x children with moderate SEND, including ASD, ADHD and PDA (our local secondary with an autism unit will not accept children with a PDA diagnosis because of the difficulty teaching them in a class situation).
2 x children with severe behavioural difficulties. Both are very violent on the playground and in cloakrooms.
4 x children with social work involvement due to abuse/neglect at home. Two of those are on child protection plans.
3 x children with a dyslexia diagnosis

This is a leafy middle class village primary in a very wealthy part of the South East. I am an excellent teacher, it’s the one thing I know I’m great at, but I constantly feel like I’m failing someone, usually those who are struggling but don’t ‘kick off’ in lessons. I have a morning TA who spends her entire time feeding and clothing those vulnerable children, then dealing with meltdowns from our struggling SEND children, especially the boy with PDA. I have spent most of my school holidays this year catching up on referral forms and getting info to my SENDCO, so we can finally get children some kind of support.

Take all of your anger and vote for any other party other than the Tories. Maybe we’ll be able to go back to teaching then, instead of crowd control, social work and parenting.

Just a moment. That’s a huge increase in SEN. Has the funding been actively reduced or is it just not keeping up with this huge rise? And why is it rising so much?

Because special schools were closed in the interests of "inclusion" which is fine if properly supported, in terms of diagnosis, finance and support but simply does not work when budgets are cut to the bone. Because children who are " too severe" for specialist provision are expected to cope in mainstream. Because more and more children are coming into primary schools without even the rudiments of socialisation and language acquisition. Because schools are now expected to deal with all the overflow from other services that THEY cannot cope with- social services, mental health support, CAHMS, SALT, OH- where previously we had access to these services , schools are now sent " videos " to support- we have now been told that children joining school with type 1 diabetes will be supported by school staff accessing an hour long video rather than bespoke training by the diabetic nurse, whose role no longer exists.
Just because!

It’s absolutely not true that your DS needs to be six years behind to get an EHCP. Look up SOS!SEN and IPSEA for information on how to apply yourself and appeal if needed.
Are there any dyslexia specialist schools near you, my child goes to one and it’s fantastic.

Yes but why? What’s happening to our kids? Is there no curiosity why so many of them have conditions?

You are absolutely right. We are working with our son to try and get him to see that starting year 4 again would not be socially detrimental - he's a summer term baby after all. It's been less than 24 hours since we found all this out and less again since we first discussed it with him, so we all need time to digest.

All the more reason to go for it. Even if he’s the only child being educated with the year below, he won’t be more than a few months older than the next oldest child.

I think people are much much more aware of neurodiversity. Children who may have been seen as having weak literacy previously are being diagnosed with dyslexia if their parents can afford the assessment.

Lots and lots of people are currently being diagnosed with adhd when previously they would have been seen as a 'bit scatty.'

I'm aware of how difficult it can be to secure a diagnosis for children, how rigorous and long it can be to get an ASD assessment for example. But there are private experts who can be paid to secure an assessment demanding reasonable adjustments very quickly and we end up with far more children requiring adjustments than schools can cope with.

Same Same!! I feel really bloody angry about state education. I feel like I'm paying for its failings. It's a massive 'one size fits all' and if that's not you then tough.

We've moved our daughter - moderate dyslexia - to a private school at the start of yr 8. She is now a totally different person. Enjoying school !

She is still exhausted from being in school though

I don't think people get that if your child has learning difficulties then school is exhausting so then 'extra' school with a tutor is a massive ask.

Radical I know - can you get a tutor for a morning when they should be in school and then send them in later!!

At 8 years old there's no such thing as being 'behind' it's an artificially constructed barrier to keep your son out.

I agree with this. You have a problem with the new school, and I would try a different one.

In recent years, there has been a significant increase in the recognition of SEN students in mainstream schools. Previously, these children might have been deemed difficult or naughty and placed in special schools. As rates of SEN identification continue to rise, the government is reevaluating its approach to providing support (see "Fit for the Future? Rethinking the Public Services Workforce" for more information).

The expectation is that, as the working population decreases in proportion to those unable to work due to disability or old age, public service standards may need to be lowered. This would involve relying more on lower-skilled and cheaper-to-train staff, such as nurses, paramedics, and ACPs taking leading roles in healthcare where previously Drs/GPs would have done so. In schools Teaching Assistants (TAs) or unqualified staff will take increasingly senior roles with more responsibility. It's very possible that the primary educator for a year group may eventually be an upskilled TA or someone with a similar background.

The trend of an increasingly frail and non-working population is challenging to reverse, as advancements in healthcare have led to longer lifespans. People are surviving serious health conditions, managing chronic illnesses more effectively, and engaging in fewer harmful behaviors such as smoking. There are numerous theories regarding the rise in SEN children unable to join the workforce, including factors such as pollution, diet, reduced vaccination rates, older parents, breakdown of family structures, and sedentary lifestyles with increased exposure to technology (i.e. more time spent watching tv not learning to interact/socialise/cope with being bored instead of constant entertainment. It's likely that each of these factors has a small, cumulative impact, making the situation difficult to reverse as society will struggle to revert.

One potential solution is to encourage an influx of working-age immigrants to the UK. However, this presents its own set of difficulties, as highly skilled UK workers are increasingly leaving the country permanently. Attracting skilled workers to the UK will become more difficult as living standards fail to keep pace with other Western nations. This ongoing cycle could lead to a continued loss of essential professionals such as teachers, doctors, nurses, and entrepreneurs who seek a more comfortable life abroad, whilst living standards in developing nations overtake that of the UK meaning those residents will no longer seek to work in the UK.

Hi OP, I have a year 5 DC with SEN (not dyslexia) at a private school. It is routine for private schools to work a year ahead because part of their remit is to get children ready for competitive entrance exams that happen at the beginning of year 6.

So by offering your son a place in the year below he's at national age related expectations. He's done fantastically considering the dyslexia, the disruption and Covid etc! Can you reframe this for him?

The SENCO at the private sounds good. She spent an hour on the phone to you. I would take her advice seriously.

My DC's school have been great with her and they are a top 20 prep. They still manage to be inclusive of different DC. There are kind and supportive privates. There are less than brilliant state schools (I've taught in both sectors).

Regarding your son's self-esteem, what is he good at? My DC is bright but not at all academic. She has talent in some sports and loves acting and singing. We make a big fuss of her achievements in those (tbh we both are actually impressed.. I have two left feet and DH would probably rather shoot himself than take up am dram...)

It might be like juggling jelly but according to you, you have identified the problems that your learners have and presumably you're not recording in your reports that they're working at the level for their age. Because that's exactly what the op is concerned about. That the teacher of her child has been sending out good reports about her son when in reality he's two years behind his age.

As a teacher myself, I'd like to think that not only would I know if someone was two levels below what would be expected but that I'd also have informed the parents of what's happening. I'd think that's a pretty basic requirement.

A private education is a luxury. Hopefully a state education is decent, otherwise 95% of children are screwed.

Running state education into the ground but keeping private schools slightly cheaper to benefit the 5% who can afford them is obviously not the answer.

Bear in mind that if labour don't get in, the education and NHS and everything else will continue to get worse in coming years.

I think there is curiosity, but its not just one thing. There are better survival rates for children with conditions which is one cause. Older parents is another cause.

There has been a baby boom (which has ended now) but there were just more children generally. Lots of schools expanded and took bulge classes but special schools were closed or didnt expand. So even if there was the exact same % of SEN as always, more were being put in mainstream as sen school places were a smaller % of overall school places.

Thats before you get to all the people who were actually failed by education before but it wasnt such a high stakes testing system so it didnt notice so much.

Ehcps were also extended to 25 years old with no extra funding. So suddenly lots of people who would have aged out the funds were retained within them.

Take the space in the year below and explain that it’s only until he catches up. Get a tutor to work with him in the meantime. Do you have the results of any NRIT or cat tests?

Previously, these children might have been deemed difficult or naughty and placed in special schools.

No, I don’t really believe this. When I was growing up I knew many many many families through school and church, and lived in a large village where not much was hidden. Maybe around 80-100 families? So about 200 children. Out of those I knew one boy who had quite severe cerebral palsy, one with moderate learning difficulties (she’s now married with a job and lives mainly independently), and one child who was ‘odd’ and is now transgender autistic. I don’t remember any children being exceptionally violent, or anything like that. There must be a true rise in conditions but I wonder what is causing it, I hope people are trying to find out as well as just treating them if you see what I mean.

Hi op I can see you are feeling some shock around the recent diagnosis and new information

The private school sounds keen, even if it is a year below. Out of interest you posted they turned down your ds and won’t offer him a place did you just mean because it was t the right year?

Dyslexia can take a while to assess, I recall a pre prep getting into strife with paying parents as a few dc had been missed. The feedback was characteristically they’re doing very well (as is often wanted as feedback) but huge disappointment when some found out dyslexia was missed and no places offered at next school entry.

It can happen in small prep schools too.

The other element is prep schools can select out SEN anyway so they have lower extra needs. Was there an extra charge for support? I assume not

I think private can be great if it’s a good fit, so it may well work

Although I would question why reports had not flagged any issues in state. Private may well have their own take on this and I’d want to understand where both sectors are coming from.

You only have to read threads like this, and other threads where teachers are saying they just can’t cope with conditions in the classroom any more, to realise that a private education is not a luxury for many families - their children are being failed by the state system, and they feel they have no choice. Just like the OP. It’s dreadful. Yes, they are lucky to have a choice when many others don’t, but someone needs to urgently tackle the problems in the state sector. I’m not convinced extra funding alone will sort it.

Someone needs to look at whether the “one size fits all” approach is the best one - do we need more specialist schools instead? Is the National Curriculum and OFSTED fit for purpose? Why is behaviour so bad in the classroom? Why are so many teachers leaving and not joining (it’s as much about conditions as pay). Is the current schools’ budget being used in the best possible way? There are some very highly paid people running academies for example - is that the best use of taxpayers’ money? I don’t know the answers.

The current government have failed to improve the state system, and it’s arguably now worse, but I fear that Labour’s obsession with the 6% privately educated is using energy and efforts which should be focused on the 94% in the state system. The estimated gains from taxing private schools is a tiny proportion of the overall education budget. We need more than that.

It’s easy to say that funding will solve everything, but the funding needs to come from somewhere, be that decreased spending elsewhere or increased taxes.

Since the 1980s, real terms education funding has doubled, and yet schools now can’t afford glue sticks. Why?

Re SEN provision, I’ve found these charts which show that over the last 15 years or so, the number of SEN children has actually fallen. The “high needs block” of the Dedicated Schools Grant (DSG), intended for special educational needs provision in state-funded schools has increased in real terms by almost 40% over the last 8 years or so. Admittedly the charts don’t seem to correlate with what teachers are saying is happening in the classroom, but I have no idea why.

I don’t know the answers, but I do think it’s a lot more complicated than a simple question of funding.

Parents making educational choices on a half of their 8 year old is not railroading.

Referring back to what you remember as a child in terms of children and neuro diversity is ridiculous

the op has clarified her son is articulate and well behaved. So from his peers perspective, no issue.

So about 200 children.

sorts be clear

your sample of 200
from decades ago
when you were a child

and you have extrapolated that because you don’t remember violence etc…. What?

Could you pay for tutoring to catch him up?

Also did the school reports break down by meeting expectations etc

Did they all say he was meeting them?

I’m just saying, there just seems to be so much special needs around now compared to 20-30 years ago. It wasn’t the dark ages it was late 90s-early 2000s

i wonder what’s causing it that’s all, it’s worrying

How is political discussion helpful to this OP? There are regular threads on here to discuss all that.

Start a thread discussing what's wrong with the education system today and you will get lots of takers.

Presumably OP would like practical help for her son now rather than a discussion of why we're all going to hell in a handcart!