Heartbroken and totally let down by education system

[Amatueuragonyaunt]

I'm after advice (and a bit of a vent). Ever since the start of the COVID fiasco, my two children (then 5 and 8 years old) have been totally failed by the state sector. My daughter is bright, but was not being pushed and was losing self confidence because of a lack of feedback and attention, so we moved her to a selective independent school where she is now thriving. The finances were (and are) a stretch, so we left our DS in the state system with the plan to see how things went and then move him at the same age as we moved our daughter (10). However, his needs are at the other end of the spectrum. It became apparent to us during pandemic home learning that there was some issue going on, but it took a further year before the school took it seriously enough to commission an assessment and another year after that before we got the report. It turns out he has severe dyslexia. This came as a both a surprise and not because we had suspected something, but generally his school reports were good with just a few weaker areas. Anyway, fast forward a few months when a load of interventions have supposedly been put in place - we don't feel confident that he's making much progress and we're aware of other children in the class with severe behavioural issues which were taking up the TAs time in entirety (so no support for anyone else). As such, we brought forward our quest to go independent and arranged taster days at a local non-selective school with good SENCO provision. Our boy loved it. However - here's the rub - the school won't offer him a place because he is more than two years behind the other children in that class. Needless to say, he's feeling pretty despondent about it, but what I'm fuming about is how his current school let it get that bad and not even tell us. Everything that has been put in place for him has only come about because we forced the issue and, when we were doing it, we were made to feel like we were overreacting and we're even told that actually our son was a bit lazy. This was before the report came out. This is an 8 year old who has been turned down for entry at a non-selective school that we are prepared to pay for because he is too far behind his peers. How is it that we have to send him in taster days just to find out how bad things are? The fact it's all come to light in a way which has left our son utterly gutted is the final straw. We didn't see it coming so couldn't manage expectations. We now have a situation where one child is flying and getting tons of opportunities while the other is completely shafted and there seems to be nothing we can do about it except give the current school a rocket (and what difference will that make?). To say I am fuming is an understatement. Anyone had similar or have any words of comfort or advice?

PS - the current school is supposedly 'outstanding' according to Ofsted, but it's not worked at all for our kids.

This is exactly the situation and why teachers, myself included, are currently striking. The government has stripped away so much that there simple isn’t the money or resources to help children who desperately need it.

Everyone is entitled to one though aren’t they? That’s the start point. And let’s be honest, once you start earning so much as to have the allowance reduced, pension contributions, share schemes etc etc allow those to claw back said allowance. But this is all semantics. If you’re not interested in an education system that is fair to all children then carry on supporting the two tier, divisive, independent schools who don’t have the moral backbone to relinquish their laughable charitable status.

My son was let down by education system over 20years ago You have to battle I am afraid even when he got diagnosed the school did nothing to learn about the conditions and understand them Yes he failed and the school destroyed him State system is awful

Ask the independent school if he can drop down a year. My friend got her DD in by asking if she could go in year 5 instead of year 6. Similar to your situation it was a non selective independent but initially turned her down as too far behind, but accepted her after dropping her down a year.

👏

The LA will tell you all sorts of things to deter you from applying for an EHCP. It’s nonsense.

Don’t feel bad for believing them, you’ve done nothing wrong. They’re the LA, you’d think you could believe them but sadly this is all too common. They don’t want to put their hands in their pockets so they’ll say all sorts to deter parents. They don’t want to equip you with the knowledge to access funding for your child, because they’re the ones who hold said funds. Our LA told us (and many other families we know) all manner of falsehoods. It’s scandalous.

The truth is, the law states a child doesn’t even require a formal diagnosis to obtain an EHCP, they just need evidence of a suitable barrier to their learning. The LA are not above the law but in many cases you need to seek legal support to make them adhere to the law.

If you’d like your child to get an EHCP (apologies, I haven’t read all the thread yet so not sure if that’s the case) then seek legal advice from a SEN legal service. It’s a well trodden path that not many people talk about.