Heartbroken and totally let down by education system

[Amatueuragonyaunt]

I'm after advice (and a bit of a vent). Ever since the start of the COVID fiasco, my two children (then 5 and 8 years old) have been totally failed by the state sector. My daughter is bright, but was not being pushed and was losing self confidence because of a lack of feedback and attention, so we moved her to a selective independent school where she is now thriving. The finances were (and are) a stretch, so we left our DS in the state system with the plan to see how things went and then move him at the same age as we moved our daughter (10). However, his needs are at the other end of the spectrum. It became apparent to us during pandemic home learning that there was some issue going on, but it took a further year before the school took it seriously enough to commission an assessment and another year after that before we got the report. It turns out he has severe dyslexia. This came as a both a surprise and not because we had suspected something, but generally his school reports were good with just a few weaker areas. Anyway, fast forward a few months when a load of interventions have supposedly been put in place - we don't feel confident that he's making much progress and we're aware of other children in the class with severe behavioural issues which were taking up the TAs time in entirety (so no support for anyone else). As such, we brought forward our quest to go independent and arranged taster days at a local non-selective school with good SENCO provision. Our boy loved it. However - here's the rub - the school won't offer him a place because he is more than two years behind the other children in that class. Needless to say, he's feeling pretty despondent about it, but what I'm fuming about is how his current school let it get that bad and not even tell us. Everything that has been put in place for him has only come about because we forced the issue and, when we were doing it, we were made to feel like we were overreacting and we're even told that actually our son was a bit lazy. This was before the report came out. This is an 8 year old who has been turned down for entry at a non-selective school that we are prepared to pay for because he is too far behind his peers. How is it that we have to send him in taster days just to find out how bad things are? The fact it's all come to light in a way which has left our son utterly gutted is the final straw. We didn't see it coming so couldn't manage expectations. We now have a situation where one child is flying and getting tons of opportunities while the other is completely shafted and there seems to be nothing we can do about it except give the current school a rocket (and what difference will that make?). To say I am fuming is an understatement. Anyone had similar or have any words of comfort or advice?

PS - the current school is supposedly 'outstanding' according to Ofsted, but it's not worked at all for our kids.

Whoops, didn’t read the update!

I’m appalled at @Nimbostratus100 saying teachers have no need to read EHCPs, that’s literally who they are written for. It’s a statement of the SEN of a child they teach. and the provision they reasonably require to meet that need. If teachers think they don’t need to read them, all is lost.

They did offer him a place in the year below. We would have taken this option, but when we presented it to our son, quiet tears started and he buried his head on my shoulder and wouldn't speak
BE THE ADULT. If you think this school is the best school for him then take the place and support your child with that. ‘What the other kids think’ really doesn’t matter - and if he really is upset about it then he needs to learn strategies to explain. My DS gets a lot of additional support in school. The other kids no doubt ‘think’ something about it. DS has had to learn to explain why he needs it.

although they see potential, he's too far behind for them to catch him up in time for year 6 with the resources they have.
Yet you expected the state school to be able to, with far fewer resources?

TA support - our child is one of the children they are supposed to be supporting. However, there are two other children - one who can't talk and needs constant 1:1 and another who until very recently was aggressive and violent in class and towards the teacher- who commandeer all of the time.
The TA is almost definitely funded by an EHCP for the child who can’t talk. They aren’t ‘commandeering’ the time. They need it.

I agree that the system is well and truly fucked, but you’re blaming the wrong people - the school, the TA, a disabled child. Put your energies into getting the right support for your child and lobbying the government for support for other children, not into blaming those who really can’t fix it.

Watching with interest as we have recently experienced similar. DS marked as not achieving expected standards for writing in Reception and Yr 1. Was told at the end of Reception that it was expected of boys and was due to the Reception year being heavily impacted by Covid and not to worry.

Mid way through year 1 we finally were allowed access to school books (previously nothing shared with home because of Covid and nobody allowed in school). Realised that DS actually couldn't write (at home he did a little but prefers lego etc). Raised with the teacher and SENCO. Was told that they would put a plan in place to support and that he needed resources eg. pen grips and a slanted writing surface which there was no budget for. I bought them and sent them in with DS where they were promptly lost/ reappropriated.

Start of Year 2 we decided to get DS a tutor to focus on English and Writing where he has made huge strides but in class really struggles as there are 29 other children with a large number of additional needs so he gets little attention if he needs help.

We then decided to apply for a local independent school but after the taster day were told he was so far behind the rest of the class that they wouldn't offer him a space. Reading and maths are at expected level if not above but writing is an issue. Very much feel like we are in a catch 22 situation and the other local independent is selective so no chance there. Just keeping up with tutor now and trying to get him to do some additional writing at home which is always a battle.

i think you should stop comparing him to his sibling.
and would you want him at a school where they dont want him?

@Atnilpoe

Oh yes.

I know of more that don't than do and actually even take it on board.

There is no training for teachers around this.
This is the real inequality in our system.

Also per post above, we are fortunate to be able to afford additional resources and are involved parents. I see a lot of DS's classmates who are not in that position and are struggling. The government has a huge amount to answer for and is failing an entire generation of children.

Money for private schooling

but never thought to pay for a private assessment

baffling

Unfortunately teachers cant know everything about every SEN. It's impossible, even the basics wouldn't really help! We have children who are ped fed, diabetic, with genetic disorders, cochlear implants in one unit. This also doesn't include the children with undiagnosed ASD, ADHD and dyslexia which again there are many! And this is a 60 place unit!

Teachers have to rely on help from specialist teachers and medical professionals, however they only come in once a term!

Also teachers workload and well being often means they can't be expected to set 5/6 different work for one lesson - when there are 5 lessons in a day!

I agree with phonics comment and think it definitely isn't a one size fits all to teach everyone to read- especially when the English code to read is a massive contradiction! But the government makes it so we have to phonics to all children as this one strategy to learn to read and there isn't the time or staff for interventions to teach those that struggle a different way!

If a class is lucky to have a TAs they are often with 1:1 children, we have children who should be 1:1 but are 1:2 due to staffing, the education system needs a massive shake up and government funding so all children those with SEN and not aren't failed they like are now!

This is why teachers and hopefully next time TAs, (though they are one of the first casualties in redundancies, so are often scared to strike) are striking, they want better for ALL children because at the minute it just a shit show and school staff are desperately trying to keep all those plates spinning!

If you are in a secondary school where there could be up to 100 ehcps it is impossible to read and retain so much information.

The senco will extract the strength, difficulties, summary of needs and the strategies that teacher needs to use in the classroom. The SENco is responsible for ensuring section F provision is in place. Not the class teacher.

I think some parents don't realise how huge the weight of information is to retain on each child and the huge balancing act it is to meet need.

It's sad that you have to be pushy. What ends up happening is that the parents who have the SEN literacy to challenge, end up monopolising the very scant resources when really it should be about prioritising the most needy. There are so many kids with unmet literacy needs from disadvantaged backgrounds who end up getting nothing but the 'bad behaviour' label because they can't access a dsylexia diagnosis. Middle class parents can often afford to pay for these whereas those without resources don't stand a chance.

I'm not blaming those parents. It's just a sad state of affairs that we can't meet everyone's needs.

Absolutely!

And I will add:

• SEMH hubs that are full of permanently excluded primary age children - so unable to support any child before perm-ex stage
• Lack of staff, frequent changes of staff working in inclusion
• LA’s not able to keep up with EHCP deadlines ( central government cuts to LA budgets)
• Children in mainstream with unbelievable needs mainly caused by parents with substance abuse

The most recent study one I received for a child in my class was written pretty much by me. My reports, my notes and my observations. The recommendations on it were things either we're already doing or ones that are way beyond my ability as a class teacher with 30 other children in my class.

I have 2 TAs in my class. Both full time. But I also have 1 child with very high needs and his EHCP provision is 1:1 support at all times, so that excludes one TA. I also have 4 children who attend a PRU 2 days a week - the 3 days they are in class they require the full attention of the remaining TA (plus the SENCo, learning mentor, DHT and HT when their behaviour deteriorates). In addition, I have a handful of children who speak no English, some with very little English, some who did absolutely nothing all throughout lockdown because their parent speaks no English. The rest of the children range in ability with a probably 4 year age span. On a daily basis it’s like juggling jelly!

This is a prime example of Tory funded education. If your child had an EHCP they would get funding for support. As they don’t, it means that the school have to find the money, which they simply don’t have. In an ideal world there would be TA support for your child, but it seems there is one TA available for multiple needs, some unfortunately more severe than your son’s. It’s not the TA’s fault, they’re trying. It’s not the school’s fault - there’s no money. This is the fault of the government. I’ve worked in education for a long time now and it’s just getting worse and worse. There are almost no EHCPs nowadays, needs have to be extreme to get one, which means there are loads of children who need support, but there is no funding available to provide that support. I teach a lower ability year 7 class (23 children) with a huge range of needs some can hardly write, but I have no TA support - no money. They are not being taught well enough, but I’m trying my best and there is nothing more I can do. Your anger should be directed towards our government. In years gone by, there would have been more money to support your child.

My dyslexic DS2 was two years behind his peers for a long time. Fortunately he was on track with his maths so we only had the reading, writing and spelling to worry about. At Christmas of year 6 we had him moved back a year into year 5. He's now in year 11, doing his GCSEs, and has caught up well enough.

I’ve privately messaged you.

Just to add, I’ve also taught a number of children over the years who have been held back a year and it’s always been a positive experience for them. I can completely understand how your son feels, but I think this could be very beneficial for him. I’d give it some very serious consideration.

As a parent of a 10yo child with severe dyslexia and dyspraxia with an EHCP in place it is each to obtain- we’re constantly jumping hoops to get the help we need and continue to keep that help- dyslexia etc are neurological disabilities- you wouldn’t discriminate against someone with an openly obvious disability but the government do against thousands of children who have disabilities and need EHCPs by making it so difficult

Sadly, yep.
Spot on.

It's also why parents should be SUPPORTING the striking teachers as this is what they're really striking about and why teachers are quitting and we can't find appropriate replacements!

You are right to feel let down and other posters are right to say this is an underfunding issue for which blame lies solely with the government.

I'd also be cross with the independent school though. You want to pay them an enormous amount of money to educate your child but they are doing exactly what the state school is doing: refusing to provide the extra support he needs to help him succeed in his year cohort. Shouldn't they also be ensuring a child with SEN is supported in class with TAs and additional/targeted support?

I think this goes to demonstrate there's nothing massively special about private schools. They do what they do by having enough funding for good facilities, less stressed teachers. And by excluding kids who have any sort of challenge that might jeopardise their results.

@Mumofspurs

I don't want to worry you but read this thread.

Your next battle unfortunately is getting anyone who teaches your dc today read or understand their ehcp.
You will find active resistance among teachers blaming their lack of reading your dc ehcp on a tory government. And if they read it they have no training to understand it.
This is why money won't help.

Ta's may or may not actually be able to help your dc but... Often they have to fall in behind a teacher. See my earlier post where a ta was a specialist and wasn't able to actually support the struggling students because her skills were not understood.
This is the rot at the heart of it all.

Yes, after years of banging heads against brick walls- teachers and the TAs trying their best to help my child- (who was 3 years behind his peers) after lots of private reports and battles we were finally accepted by the LA to fund a specialist private school that we started in September this school specialises in dyslexia/dyspraxia/dyscalculia, and need is currently being met. we’re incredibly lucky to have funding- although know it can be stopped at any time.

Comments like this are really unhelpful. Did you just come on here to judge? Of course we considered a private assessment. We've considered all sorts of things but several years of deliberations don't condense well in one or two posts on Mumsnet. To those who've shared experiences and given tips, thank you. To those who have put two and two together and made sixteen by inferring a million things I've not actually said, well I suppose it was to be expected on this kind of forum, but it's still disappointing when the reason I came on here was for some guidance and reassurance (and just a bit of a rant).

@Mumofspurs

That's wonderful news.

Op

seriously. My children are at private school so zero judgement

but I can’t fathom waiting 2 years in total for assessment decision when you could have paid private and done yourself. As I did with my son.