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Original poster

How would you feel if your spouse said this about you?

97 replies

Looooop · 27/04/2023 11:56

A man I know, he's been married for over 20 years, now very late 40s, and his wife is a similar age.
I overheard him saying to a friend "I'm happily married and love my wife, but I wish she still looked how she did 20 years ago and still weighed the same."

How would you feel if your partner said this about you?

OP posts:
Nordicrain · 27/04/2023 11:56

Shit. Obviously.

Original poster
Looooop · 27/04/2023 11:58

It would make me feel rubbish too, and like he mainly loved me for the outside.

OP posts:
Meadowflower2023 · 27/04/2023 11:58

What @Nordicrain said

CreationNat1on · 27/04/2023 11:58

Contrived nonsense

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 27/04/2023 11:59

I'd think he was a knob. Nowt we can do about ageing. He must have aged too. I think he really needs to engage his brain before his mouth.

BreviloquentBastard · 27/04/2023 11:59

I'd feel divorcey.

I get it, I'm sure everyone wishes they and their partner still looked as good as they did in their 20's. These are what we call inside thoughts. They don't need to be shared. If I knew my husband had been talking about me like that to his friends I'd hit the roof.

Original poster
Looooop · 27/04/2023 11:59

It's not made up.
Yeah he's gone fully bald, I wonder how he'd feel if she said she wishes he still had hair.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 27/04/2023 12:00

Pretty common I would imagine. From both sexes. He said this to a friend, presumably in confidence - as long as he doesn’t actually say this to his wife.

Original poster
Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:00

Weight gain with age isn't inevitable and like many people he's associating beauty with youth sadly.

OP posts:
Itsvalentino · 27/04/2023 12:01

I'd be livid, and hurt.

I'd also advise him that from now on my standards were going to be even higher than his hairline and he was free to fuck right off.

Inthesamesinkingboat · 27/04/2023 12:01

I wouldn’t feel anything, I’d be to busy burying a body in the back garden

Original poster
Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:01

It's quite a depressing thought really. I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought I looked better 20 years ago and looked a bit rough now but stays out of loyalty.

OP posts:
TheKobayashiMaru · 27/04/2023 12:01

I'd think 'what a prat, he does not look or weigh what he did 20 years ago so why doesn't this apply to him too'.

Coxspurplepippin · 27/04/2023 12:01

Wonder if his wife feels the same about him?

Original poster
Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:02

Inthesamesinkingboat · 27/04/2023 12:01

I wouldn’t feel anything, I’d be to busy burying a body in the back garden

😁

OP posts:
REP22 · 27/04/2023 12:04

"I'm happily married and love my husband, but I wish he could still maintain his erection for longer than three minutes, like he could 20 years ago, and still weighed the same." 😉

WaltzingWaters · 27/04/2023 12:04

Did he say it in a jokey way? It’s quite a shitty thing to say depending on the relationship. Some people have much more jokey relationships and would say this to each other without it really causing offence. Maybe she says the same about him. Just a true statement but not meaning they actually think any less of each other or that they’d ever trade them in for a younger model.
But obviously, completely depends how he said it and how they communicate with each other.

FuckNuggets · 27/04/2023 12:04

I'd tell him that he is in fact right. I wish he had more hair, was slimmer and had a bigger cock. So, I'm divorcing him to marry a younger, better looking man.

Nordicrain · 27/04/2023 12:05

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:01

It's quite a depressing thought really. I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought I looked better 20 years ago and looked a bit rough now but stays out of loyalty.

I wouldn't want to be with someone whose only reasons to stay is looks or loyalty.

The guy sounds like a dick, and like he isn't exactly a great catch either. But presumably there is much more to their relationship than those two factors.

FreddiesTeeth · 27/04/2023 12:06

I wonder why my younger self had married such a twat.

Fairyliz · 27/04/2023 12:08

Well I would probably say ‘so do I’. I’m in my 60’s now and when I look back at old photos I can’t believe how good I looked and didn’t know it.
But then I DH and often tease each other, I look at an old photos of him and say ‘what happened to this gorgeous hunk’.

LisaD1 · 27/04/2023 12:10

I’d be really hurt and things would never be the same. I’ve been with my DH for almost 20 years, we’ve both changed a lot in that time. My weight has gone up and down and he’s never once criticised, he’s always been my biggest supporter no matter what. Id be shocked and extremely hurt to find out he said that about me.

girlfriend44 · 27/04/2023 12:10

Just say exactly the same about him
Don't we all wish to be younger and slimmer anyway.

Original poster
Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:15

It's sad that there's such an obsession with youth. Being slim and healthy can be achieved at any age barring certain health conditions of course. But we live in this society where there is an obsession with 'looks fading' people saying they 'used to be beautiful ' 'men ignore them now.'
Honestly it's fucking depressing and it just makes me not want to age even though I'm only 31, is this what I've got to look forward to.
The way some women over 50 describe themselves on here you'd like they were these absolute monstrous trolls.
My aunt is 58, she's had work done but she goes to the gym daily and still looks good in a bikini. Still got a beautiful face,I wouldn't say she looked better when she was younger, just younger.

OP posts:
PsychoHotSauce · 27/04/2023 12:17

I don't think it's loyalty. He knows a 20 something wouldn't look twice at him.

So his options are "settle" for what he can get or be alone. If I was the wife I'd be choosing for him.