Page 2 | How would you feel if your spouse said this about you?

Looooop · 2023-04-27T10:56:02+00:00

A man I know, he's been married for over 20 years, now very late 40s, and his wife is a similar age. I overheard him saying to a friend "I'm happily married and love my wife, but I wish she still looked how she did 20 years ago and still weighed the same." How would you feel if your partner said this about you?

Original poster

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:19

Maybe she thinks the same about him, I don't know her really so have no idea.
Do men in their 50s really fancy 20 year olds? Why? There are so many stunning 40-50 women out there. I get it's biological but why?
If I fancied a 20 year old male I'd probably be called a cradle snatcher at 31, but for men of their age to be going after 20 year olds is just something else

OP posts:

Meadowflower2023 · 27/04/2023 12:21

REP22 · 27/04/2023 12:04

"I'm happily married and love my husband, but I wish he could still maintain his erection for longer than three minutes, like he could 20 years ago, and still weighed the same." 😉

@REP22 😂😂😂 🙌🏼

ModestMoon · 27/04/2023 12:22

I think this is fine as a thing to say to a good friend.

pikantna · 27/04/2023 12:24

I also wish I looked as I did and weighed what I weighed when I was 22, but I am not a fucking moron who believes that time stands still and would wonder whether he was.

Original poster

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:27

See I find it sad that people desperately wished they look like they did at such a young age. Why does nobody prefer how they look now?

OP posts:

Annoyingwurringnoise · 27/04/2023 12:29

I could understand the weight thing if I’d piled on loads, even if it would feel hurtful, but it’s utterly ridiculous to wish somebody looked the way they did 20 years ago. He’s a dick if he married her thinking she’ll always look 25.

Isheabastard · 27/04/2023 12:30

This is what my STBXH used to say to me often. Together for over 35 years.

He would take me to one side, and tell me he was worried about my weight, diet, exercise regime. Or tell me “you are a good looking female” I actually think he said good looking bird one time. (Iknow). I was only a tiny bit overweight when he first started saying this. “You’ve got a lovely figure, but you’ve got a bit of a tummy”

Anyway he’d also say I could make myself look better by glamming up. I should care more about how I dressed, and get my hair coloured.

He truly said he was only telling me these things because he loved me so much and wanted me to be happy.

He actually said, “don’t you want to look good on my arm?” I was very pretty when I was younger and I finally realised it was all about how I made him feel, not about how I felt.

Hes not bald or over weight, but he wasn’t even good looking when he was young. I stupidly thought you loved the person for who they are, not what they look like.

Nordicrain · 27/04/2023 12:30

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:15

It's sad that there's such an obsession with youth. Being slim and healthy can be achieved at any age barring certain health conditions of course. But we live in this society where there is an obsession with 'looks fading' people saying they 'used to be beautiful ' 'men ignore them now.'
Honestly it's fucking depressing and it just makes me not want to age even though I'm only 31, is this what I've got to look forward to.
The way some women over 50 describe themselves on here you'd like they were these absolute monstrous trolls.
My aunt is 58, she's had work done but she goes to the gym daily and still looks good in a bikini. Still got a beautiful face,I wouldn't say she looked better when she was younger, just younger.

You seem quite preoccupied with looks yourself OP, it's just the youth element that seems to be offending you. This may come as a shock, but you don't have to be slim and look good in a bikini to be loved or have people want to stay married to you.

Skybluepinky · 27/04/2023 12:31

She probably thinks the same about him.

Phoebo · 27/04/2023 12:33

She probably feels the same?

Pahpahpotato · 27/04/2023 12:42

Such a horrible thing to verbalise to someone, purposely running his wife down to, what, get a cheap laugh? Disgusting behaviour, I’d be appalled if my husband said that.

Redlocks30 · 27/04/2023 12:47

I feel the same about my DH to be honest. He was 12 stone when we met and married, but 25 years later is 18/19 stone. He’s lovely looking but is probably now morbidly obese. I probably wouldn’t say it out loud to a friend but I do think it. Does that make me shallow and horrible?

gabsdot45 · 27/04/2023 12:50

Maybe she feels the same.

Original poster

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:51

Nordicrain · 27/04/2023 12:30

You seem quite preoccupied with looks yourself OP, it's just the youth element that seems to be offending you. This may come as a shock, but you don't have to be slim and look good in a bikini to be loved or have people want to stay married to you.

Show quote history

Yes I'm aware, I'm just referring to posters who are saying they really wish they looked 20, I find that a shame and it makes me feel sad for getting older.

OP posts:

VeronicaTimeTurner · 27/04/2023 12:52

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:01

It's quite a depressing thought really. I wouldn't want to be with someone who thought I looked better 20 years ago and looked a bit rough now but stays out of loyalty.

Isn’t that what most people do/think though? Everyone ages, gets fatter, greyer, baggier 😆 but they are loyal and stay together through thick and not so thin.

Grumpi · 27/04/2023 12:59

Agree with the PP who said these are inside thoughts.

It IS ok to have private thoughts about your partners body. My DH had an amazing physique years ago, he doesn’t anymore. I still absolutely love him and fancy him but yeah I’ll readily say, my personal preference is more athletic.

I wouldn’t dream of making this comment to him or anyone else out loud. It’s incredibly disrespectful to his wife and I’d be livid if it happened to me.

There are some thoughts which don’t need to aired.

Naunet · 27/04/2023 13:00

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:19

Maybe she thinks the same about him, I don't know her really so have no idea.
Do men in their 50s really fancy 20 year olds? Why? There are so many stunning 40-50 women out there. I get it's biological but why?
If I fancied a 20 year old male I'd probably be called a cradle snatcher at 31, but for men of their age to be going after 20 year olds is just something else

I think it’s less about biology and more about ego.

Sugargliderwombat · 27/04/2023 13:29

It wouldn't make me feel shit, it would make me think he was an absolute prick.

Orangeradiorabbit · 27/04/2023 13:38

I think it depends on context. For example, did DH say it in a jokey way, or was he expressing a genuine dissatisfaction? If it was a joke, was that just with a close friend, or was he taking the piss/being nasty? Then, for the wife, is her weight and age something she is worried about, or would she be able to laugh at the joke?

I think the idea of "i wish i had the body i did x years ago", or "i wish my partner still had that six pack he did in his 20s", is a joke many people make and will chuckle about. But it doesn't mean that joke is always funny/welcome.

If you heard it and thought it sounded inappropriate/ offensive then it probably was 😪😪

SkyandSurf · 27/04/2023 13:40

I suppose he just said what a lot of people think.

I don't think weight gain is inevitable. People can still take care of their health and appearance.

momtoboys · 27/04/2023 13:42

I'll bet she wishes he still had a full head of hair.

Whattodoaboutpox · 27/04/2023 13:42

I'd be livid and divorce his shallow ass

Denise82 · 27/04/2023 13:44

Inthesamesinkingboat · 27/04/2023 12:01

I wouldn’t feel anything, I’d be to busy burying a body in the back garden

This 🤣

Mochinated · 27/04/2023 13:47

So he looks the same and weighs the same does he?

The focus here should be the pot calling kettle black.

But no, let's discuss beauty standards for women instead ... again 🤔

Intheflicker · 27/04/2023 13:53

Looooop · 27/04/2023 12:27

See I find it sad that people desperately wished they look like they did at such a young age. Why does nobody prefer how they look now?

Because gravity always wins.