Page 16 | To be so bloody happy to have another BOY on the way

blueberry23 · 2023-04-26T18:41:28+00:00

Lighthearted thread But I see so many threads with gender disappointment towards having a boy My reasons for being over the moon for DS#2 in my tummy....,, I will remain queen of my house (bar the dogs!) Boys adore their mummies Less emotions to manage Less pink and glitter hopefully 🤣 Brothers Dirty knees and climbing trees and rough and tumble I'm just here for it all What are your reasons if you love being a boy mum like me?

Peppadog · 27/04/2023 09:36

Laiste · 27/04/2023 09:28

Nothing screams disappointment louder than I AM NOT DISAPPOINTED announcements.

Why can't you just be happy for the OP? Why do you think boys are so bad that OP can't possibly be happy she is having one? Nasty post.

Irequireausername · 27/04/2023 09:37

waterlego · 27/04/2023 09:30

I disagree. I was a child in the late 70s and 80s and I think there was less gender stereotyping in those days with regards to colours and toys. When I look back at photos of me and my brother playing in the garden with the neighbours’ children, it takes a few moments to tell the boys and girls apart as everyone was wearing orange/green/red/brown (dungarees mostly) and lots of us had similar haircuts (courtesy of mum and a pudding basin). When you went into toy shops, there wasn’t a wall of pink and a wall of blue. You didn’t have the ‘girly’ version of Lego in those days. And in the adult world, there were musicians and rock stars who wore what they liked and bent the ‘rules’ of gender without anyone saying they were the opposite sex (David Bowie, Annie Lennox et al). Gender stereotyping has gone nuts since then.

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I completely agree, even in the 90s it wasn't like it is today. If your daughter wore a football shirt and football boots, no one told her she was a boy!

YouAreNotBatman · 27/04/2023 09:38

Whataretheodds · 26/04/2023 19:51

Less emotions to manage

What makes you think that?

Because (male) anger isin’t seen as a emotion.

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 09:42

waterlego · 27/04/2023 09:30

I disagree. I was a child in the late 70s and 80s and I think there was less gender stereotyping in those days with regards to colours and toys. When I look back at photos of me and my brother playing in the garden with the neighbours’ children, it takes a few moments to tell the boys and girls apart as everyone was wearing orange/green/red/brown (dungarees mostly) and lots of us had similar haircuts (courtesy of mum and a pudding basin). When you went into toy shops, there wasn’t a wall of pink and a wall of blue. You didn’t have the ‘girly’ version of Lego in those days. And in the adult world, there were musicians and rock stars who wore what they liked and bent the ‘rules’ of gender without anyone saying they were the opposite sex (David Bowie, Annie Lennox et al). Gender stereotyping has gone nuts since then.

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Yes there was less. But equally saying things like OP wouldn’t have turned a hair at all. They’re two separate issues, and berating OP won’t change the actual root of the issue. It’s all just showboating by the vipers on here. So unkind to a pregnant woman

Laiste · 27/04/2023 09:45

Peppadog · 27/04/2023 09:36

Why can't you just be happy for the OP? Why do you think boys are so bad that OP can't possibly be happy she is having one? Nasty post.

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How funny! 😂Nothing in my post suggests how i feel about either gender!

I'm saying in my experience people tend to cover their disappointment with big ''i'm not disappointed because what i've got is better than x y z'' statements.

It usually means they've thought long and hard about it to come up with ''things to be happy about''.

Also - it would be nicer if she'd simply said she was happy to be having a boy rather than actually trying to compare them favourably against girl children.

HoneyIshrunkthe · 27/04/2023 09:47

I love this post.
I just adore having my two boys and was silently hoping my second would be a boy!
Congratulations OP xx

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 09:49

Laiste · 27/04/2023 09:45

How funny! 😂Nothing in my post suggests how i feel about either gender!

I'm saying in my experience people tend to cover their disappointment with big ''i'm not disappointed because what i've got is better than x y z'' statements.

It usually means they've thought long and hard about it to come up with ''things to be happy about''.

Also - it would be nicer if she'd simply said she was happy to be having a boy rather than actually trying to compare them favourably against girl children.

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OP doesn’t sound disappointed. Society has an unfair view of family set ups, ie ‘one of each’ is perfect, girls are better than boys, and so she’s just come up with some light hearted things as to why she’s looking forward to having another little boy in the face of that.

The predictable morality police of Mn have turned up to shit all over her thread and make a pregnant woman feel awful for feminism ‘wrongthink’. Because it makes them feel special and clever and enlightened.

HoneyIshrunkthe · 27/04/2023 09:49

@Laiste

Do pipe down.

Peppadog · 27/04/2023 09:52

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 09:49

OP doesn’t sound disappointed. Society has an unfair view of family set ups, ie ‘one of each’ is perfect, girls are better than boys, and so she’s just come up with some light hearted things as to why she’s looking forward to having another little boy in the face of that.

The predictable morality police of Mn have turned up to shit all over her thread and make a pregnant woman feel awful for feminism ‘wrongthink’. Because it makes them feel special and clever and enlightened.

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Exactly!

And telling a pregnant woman their post screams of disappointment about their impending baby just isn't nice.

Laiste · 27/04/2023 09:54

HoneyIshrunkthe · 27/04/2023 09:49

@Laiste

Do pipe down.

Why? It's AIBU.

I do think she's being unreasonable to post a post basing her joy at having another boy on unfavourable (and ridiculous) comparisons of girl children.

waterlego · 27/04/2023 09:55

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 09:49

OP doesn’t sound disappointed. Society has an unfair view of family set ups, ie ‘one of each’ is perfect, girls are better than boys, and so she’s just come up with some light hearted things as to why she’s looking forward to having another little boy in the face of that.

The predictable morality police of Mn have turned up to shit all over her thread and make a pregnant woman feel awful for feminism ‘wrongthink’. Because it makes them feel special and clever and enlightened.

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I don’t think I agree that society thinks girls are better than boys. Certainly not worldwide! I’ve never forgotten a post on here years ago in which a poster described overhearing a conversation between two older men about their families and one of the men being disappointed that his wife had only managed to produce ‘split-arses’ 😞

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:01

waterlego · 27/04/2023 09:55

I don’t think I agree that society thinks girls are better than boys. Certainly not worldwide! I’ve never forgotten a post on here years ago in which a poster described overhearing a conversation between two older men about their families and one of the men being disappointed that his wife had only managed to produce ‘split-arses’ 😞

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It’s definitely the case in modern day 2023. Look at the ‘gender disappointment’ threads on here - always disappointment to be having boys. So OP starts a little thread about why she’s looking forward to having a baby boy, and she gets the nasty gender police turning up to shit all over her. Awful. I hope they’re happy because they don’t sound it.

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:01

And I have a daughter before anyone starts.

Clarabell77 · 27/04/2023 10:11

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 09:07

No.

Mumsnet is not reflective of how people see ‘gender’ or men/women IRL. On here the tiniest micro aggression or clumsy wording is seen as ‘horrific sexism’, malign male intent is eked out at every turn, there’s no shades of grey at all - everything is ‘horrific sexism perpetuated by stereotyping’.

There are differences, personality differences, between men and women regardless of social influences and most people are pragmatic enough to know this. And they’re tired of people pretending otherwise because it suits a narrative

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Agree

phoenixrosehere · 27/04/2023 10:15

Glad you’re happy OP, but your writings doesn’t exactly scream light-hearted.

Less emotions to manage

I have boys and they are very emotional and there is nothing wrong with that.

Less pink and glitter hopefully

Many girls hate the colour pink and many boys like glitter, my youngest son definitely does.

Brothers

Doesn’t mean they will get along and that goes for any pairing.

Dirty knees and climbing trees and rough and tumble

Girls do this too so how is it different with boys?

I like being a mum my but not because I have sons.

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:20

phoenixrosehere · 27/04/2023 10:15

Glad you’re happy OP, but your writings doesn’t exactly scream light-hearted.

Less emotions to manage

I have boys and they are very emotional and there is nothing wrong with that.

Less pink and glitter hopefully

Many girls hate the colour pink and many boys like glitter, my youngest son definitely does.

Brothers

Doesn’t mean they will get along and that goes for any pairing.

Dirty knees and climbing trees and rough and tumble

Girls do this too so how is it different with boys?

I like being a mum my but not because I have sons.

Whoopeeee a deconstructed word-for-word criticism of a pregnant woman.

Just pop on to the TTC thread and tell a woman who is over the moon at finally getting a positive test that ‘doesn’t mean the baby will like you, they could well be NC by the time they’re 25’.

Hugasauras · 27/04/2023 10:24

Being pregnant doesn't excuse you from being called out when you say stupid stuff. If that hypothetical woman on the TTC thread had then launched into a post with a bunch of offensive cliches about people who don't have children ('So glad I'm pregnant, no being alone for the rest of my life or having no purpose to my life!') I'm sure they would get the same treatment (and rightly so)

phoenixrosehere · 27/04/2023 10:24

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:20

Whoopeeee a deconstructed word-for-word criticism of a pregnant woman.

Just pop on to the TTC thread and tell a woman who is over the moon at finally getting a positive test that ‘doesn’t mean the baby will like you, they could well be NC by the time they’re 25’.

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This is AIBU thread so I’m allowed to disagree with the OP even though I’m happy, she’s happy. I only have boys too and would say the same if it was a mum saying the same about having only girls and saying something in the same vein.

You can say why you love your sons without putting down girls and vice versa.

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:27

phoenixrosehere · 27/04/2023 10:24

This is AIBU thread so I’m allowed to disagree with the OP even though I’m happy, she’s happy. I only have boys too and would say the same if it was a mum saying the same about having only girls and saying something in the same vein.

You can say why you love your sons without putting down girls and vice versa.

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She isn’t putting down girls. I have a daughter (and a baby boy!), and don’t think she’s doing that at all. And yes you can disagree but you have to be a bit of an arsehole to pile on a pregnant woman’s clearly well-meaning and excited post in this way. And it’s especially nasty to say ‘you’re excited your boy is getting a brother? Don’t be too excited, they may well hate each other’.

I mean where on Earth do people get off on posting that?

GneissGuysFinishLast · 27/04/2023 10:27

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 08:54

Dangerous? 🙄 I know gender/sex etc is a hot topic on here but that’s way over the top. Most of us adults were raised at a time when nothing OP said would’ve been controversial and we have much less gender identity issues than teens and kids

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Yeah it is dangerous. How often are there posts on here about men not “helping” around the house or with childcare? How many women are left raising man-children as well as actual children? It’s a direct correlation with the fact that our generation were brought up where girls played with dolls, toy kitchens and shops, whereas boys got science kits and guns and bikes.

MUMTO2DS1DD · 27/04/2023 10:27

I haven’t noticed anything hugely different between my two sons and daughter, they’ve all been loving and kind children, I don’t think this is down to their sex but mostly down to nurturing.

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:29

Hugasauras · 27/04/2023 10:24

Being pregnant doesn't excuse you from being called out when you say stupid stuff. If that hypothetical woman on the TTC thread had then launched into a post with a bunch of offensive cliches about people who don't have children ('So glad I'm pregnant, no being alone for the rest of my life or having no purpose to my life!') I'm sure they would get the same treatment (and rightly so)

Offensive cliches? Do get a life. You sound so thin skinned.

Roselilly36 · 27/04/2023 10:31

Many congrats OP, I have two boys, now 21 & 20, they are best friends and close brothers. So pleased I had boys, I would have loved a DD just as much of course, but I was delighted to have my boys.

phoenixrosehere · 27/04/2023 10:31

Coffeeandbourbons · 27/04/2023 10:27

She isn’t putting down girls. I have a daughter (and a baby boy!), and don’t think she’s doing that at all. And yes you can disagree but you have to be a bit of an arsehole to pile on a pregnant woman’s clearly well-meaning and excited post in this way. And it’s especially nasty to say ‘you’re excited your boy is getting a brother? Don’t be too excited, they may well hate each other’.

I mean where on Earth do people get off on posting that?

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You mean the truth. I’m sorry OP, I should have said that siblings may get along and some may not regardless of gender.

So we should all simply just congrats her and not say our opinion because she’s pregnant?

I said I’m happy for her. I don’t have to agree with her reasonings.

GneissGuysFinishLast · 27/04/2023 10:36

HereBeFuckery · 27/04/2023 09:20

@Sissynova
"Hopefully the ‘boys have less emotions’ isn’t something you actively push on them because I think every early years professional or teacher would disagree with you"

100% this. Secondary teacher; dealing with boys' emotions, lack of self-regulation, lack of impulse control, use of physical violence as a way to manage emotion? 60-70% of most of my days. Not all boys, of course, but a startlingly noticeable difference between the sexes. Every one of our top 20 'behaviour concern' children is a boy. (We don't call them that, I'm using shorthand for speed).

Probably far more to do with upbringing and societal expectations than any genuine genetic difference between the sexes, but it's undeniable in the schools I've worked in.

I wholeheartedly agree, although I’d argue the cause is different.

Girls are brought up being told it’s okay and even positive to share their emotions, girl friendships are generally built on deep emotional connections and girls are taught it’s okay to cry, it’s best to get it out, let’s chat about it etc.

Boys are brought up to be “strong” and “brave” and showing emotions is weak, male friendships tend to be built on common interests and are far less likely to share their emotions, and so on.

So what happens is boys spend a significant amount of their time pretending to be okay, not being sad or showing to be sad, and eventually all that pent up emotion comes out. Sometimes in anger. Sometimes in violence. Sometimes in dangerous behaviour (alcohol/drugs/dangerous driving) and sometimes it’s all too much and the boy commits suicide.