Page 4 | AIBU to be annoyed at Doctors Receptionist?

Hoppinggreen · 2023-04-26T17:53:27+00:00

DD18 has anxiety and struggles in a lot of situations, her main trigger is being embarrassed in public. She is on The Pill for very painful periods, she may also be sexual active, none of my business. She had a nurse appointment today for a repeat prescription and I don’t in go with her but she did ask me to take her and stay in the waiting room. She came out of her appointment with the nurse and went to Reception to ask about getting her Flu jab (she has asthma). I am encouraging her to do more things like this on her own so I stayed seated across the other side of the room. I then heard “why, are you pregnant?” From The Receptionist, as did everyone else in the room. DD went very red and said “no, I have asthma”. (She told me this I didn’t hear her reply) Afterwards as we left she said did I think it was ok for her to be asked that so loudly in a crowded room? I said not but I ask you MNetters- should I/she be annoyed or upset? I won’t make a complaint unless DD wants to, in which case I will advise her on what to do but I do think it’s not on to ask a young woman if she is pregnant in a loud voice in a crowded waiting room, Aibu?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 26/04/2023 21:00

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/04/2023 20:34

That's not how ears work.

It's personal information audible to other people in the room. How does the receptionist know if:

DD's abusive partner is there?
DD's abusive mother is there?
DD's neighbour or employer is there?

It's personal medical information and shouldn't be required in a non-private setting. I would complain.

Show quote history

This.

Simplelife1 · 26/04/2023 21:01

@Hamandpeas she didnt ask anything personal, she enquired after a flu jab

girlfriend44 · 26/04/2023 21:05

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2023 19:46

I didn’t ask if it was a crime, I asked if The Receptionist should have asked a bit more quietly

Show quote history

What if your daughter couldn't hear and asked her to speak.up

Perhaps receptionist could just write it down

aberlot · 26/04/2023 21:15

Hamandpeas · 26/04/2023 20:55

I've never understood why anyone asks anything personal of the receptionist in a doctors waiting room. The whole waiting room can hear - especially since covid and the introduction of screens.

If you dont want the whole waiting room to know, don't ask. Or assume they are all going to hear.

What do you think the OPDD asked rust was personal, this making this a 'don't ask' situation?

Catlover77 · 26/04/2023 21:21

The receptionist was out of order and should have phrased the question appropriately eg what is the reason you have been referred?

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2023 21:27

girlfriend44 · 26/04/2023 21:05

What if your daughter couldn't hear and asked her to speak.up

Perhaps receptionist could just write it down

Show quote history

She heard so I’m not sure of your point

OP posts:

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2023 21:28

Hamandpeas · 26/04/2023 20:55

I've never understood why anyone asks anything personal of the receptionist in a doctors waiting room. The whole waiting room can hear - especially since covid and the introduction of screens.

If you dont want the whole waiting room to know, don't ask. Or assume they are all going to hear.

Can I book a flu jab please?
Is a request, not sharing anything personal

OP posts:

SophiaSW1 · 26/04/2023 21:30

Yes YABU

MrsSkylerWhite · 26/04/2023 21:51

Hoppinggreen · Today 19:32
MrsSkylerWhite · Today 19:30

As the flu season is pretty much over, yes, YABU. Most women requesting a flu/Covid jab now will be pregnant.

If I had been in the waiting room, honestly, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. You need to work on your daughter’s confidence.

Do I?
Thank you, certainly haven’t been trying to do that with the help of medical professionals for the last 10 years or so.
Will get right on “

Apologies. No need to be snarky though. If you’d said that in your original post, obviously I (and others) wouldn’t have made such responses.

gentlemum · 26/04/2023 22:28

Totally unacceptable to ask a clearly young woman if she is pregnant in front of a crowded room. I'm surprised so many people think this ok.. if the receptionist needed to check she meets the criteria for a flu jab then she should be asking ' what's the reason you need one, I need to check you qualify'. However as you say it would flag up on the system and be clear from there without your daughter having to say anything. A complaint helps a service know what areas they need to improve on - communication and professionalism in this instance.

WiseUpJanetWeiss · 26/04/2023 22:55

It's personal medical information and shouldn't be required in a non-private setting.

This. It’s unacceptable. Anyone familiar with NHS information governance should know this. The receptionist has no idea who in the waiting room knows the patient. The fact that some other posters wouldn’t be bothered by this is entirely irrelevant.

Itsbritneybitch22 · 26/04/2023 23:08

gentlemum · 26/04/2023 22:28

Totally unacceptable to ask a clearly young woman if she is pregnant in front of a crowded room. I'm surprised so many people think this ok.. if the receptionist needed to check she meets the criteria for a flu jab then she should be asking ' what's the reason you need one, I need to check you qualify'. However as you say it would flag up on the system and be clear from there without your daughter having to say anything. A complaint helps a service know what areas they need to improve on - communication and professionalism in this instance.

People don’t think it’s ok they’re just bored and like upsetting people for some reason.

Sugarfree23 · 26/04/2023 23:10

GiraffeLaSophie · 26/04/2023 20:31

I think you’re overreacting. Your daughter is an adult woman, there would have been nothing ‘wrong’ with her being pregnant so there’s no way the receptionist could predict she would have been embarrassed by the question. It’s a perfectly valid question to ask someone in a medical setting.

Maybe in your eyes, there's nothing wrong with an 18 yo being pregnant. But for some pregnant at 18 is just not a good place to be.

An 18 yo still in education may not have even told her family that she is pregnant or be 100% convinced that keeping the baby is the right thing.

You have no idea who could have overheard, neighbours, relatives, the village rent-a-mouth.
Honestly it should have been asked with discretion.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/04/2023 01:05

Sugarfree23 · 26/04/2023 23:10

Maybe in your eyes, there's nothing wrong with an 18 yo being pregnant. But for some pregnant at 18 is just not a good place to be.

An 18 yo still in education may not have even told her family that she is pregnant or be 100% convinced that keeping the baby is the right thing.

You have no idea who could have overheard, neighbours, relatives, the village rent-a-mouth.
Honestly it should have been asked with discretion.

Show quote history

Exactly. There are about 100 reasons a pregnancy could be 'wrong'. So much priviledge if a poster can't think of one.

GiraffeLaSophie · 27/04/2023 08:27

Sugarfree23 · 26/04/2023 23:10

Maybe in your eyes, there's nothing wrong with an 18 yo being pregnant. But for some pregnant at 18 is just not a good place to be.

An 18 yo still in education may not have even told her family that she is pregnant or be 100% convinced that keeping the baby is the right thing.

You have no idea who could have overheard, neighbours, relatives, the village rent-a-mouth.
Honestly it should have been asked with discretion.

Show quote history

When I went to have my flu jab the woman behind the counter in the chemist asked why I was eligible for an NHS one, so I told her I was pregnant. There is no difference between that and being asked if you’re pregnant and responding yes or no. If the receptionist needs to put the reason for requesting a flu jab on her form then a pregnant woman (regardless of whether she’s 18, 28 or 38) would need to reveal that she was pregnant at that point anyway, or just said no and then clarified things with the actual medical professional who would have done the jab.

The receptionist should have been quieter, yes. But it’s a question I have been asked multiple times in various medical settings and in front of other people, so it just seems normal to me.

WimpoleHat · 27/04/2023 08:36

In the context of a surgery, someone being pregnant is an everyday event, so it will have been a very matter of fact question from the receptionist. Your DD isn’t used to that context, so found it a bit discombobulating, but that doesn’t mean that the receptionist did anything wrong. My 13 year old was asked if she could be pregnant before they gave het a vaccination at school, which she found very odd too; I had to explain to her that medics ask those questions to everyone in certain situations and it wasn’t a question personal to her!

Catlover77 · 27/04/2023 11:58

WimpoleHat · 27/04/2023 08:36

In the context of a surgery, someone being pregnant is an everyday event, so it will have been a very matter of fact question from the receptionist. Your DD isn’t used to that context, so found it a bit discombobulating, but that doesn’t mean that the receptionist did anything wrong. My 13 year old was asked if she could be pregnant before they gave het a vaccination at school, which she found very odd too; I had to explain to her that medics ask those questions to everyone in certain situations and it wasn’t a question personal to her!

Yes but medics do not ask personal information in front of strangers, that is the difference

Roozkitty · 27/04/2023 12:34

YANBU. Why does the receptionist even need to know why your DD has been referred for a flu jab? Is the nurse's instruction not enough?

HeadbandOverMyEyes · 27/04/2023 12:42

I've been a woman of childbearing age getting flu jabs for twenty years (asthma), and have never had a GP receptionist even ask me why. It goes: "Hi, can I have an appointment for a flu jab, please?" "Can I ask your name?" "It's Headband Eyes." <receptionist brings up patient record, presumably notes eligibility> "Next Thursday at 10 okay?" GP surgeries already know whether you're eligible and why; they don't need to ask.

If making an online flu jab booking at a pharmacy, they do sometimes get you to fill in an online form in advance which includes a question on reason for NHS eligibility. But when making pharmacy flu jab appointments in person, I don't remember them asking specifically why (and definitely not blurting out "Are you pregnant?), just asking whether it's NHS or not, with the reason for eligibility being asked privately, just before the vaccine is given. (And that's pharmacies, hardly a bastion of confidentiality — yesterday I was asked in front of a huge queue at a supermarket pharmacy exactly what drugs I was expecting to pick up, and felt slightly uncomfortable listing a well-known medication used almost exclusively for serious mental illness, plus two different and very desirable controlled drugs, and a vitamin supplement most would associate with pregnancy. No way could I have felt comfortable asking to reply privately; the pharmacy was understaffed and incredibly busy.)

I suppose it's possible that requesting a flu jab in April might be something people only tend to do if they're newly eligible, and for a young woman that's likely to be due to pregnancy, but why would it be necessary for them to verbally ask? Saying or asking for anything that's potentially confidential in front of other people should be kept to only what's absolutely necessary.

Americano75 · 27/04/2023 12:47

It's fair enough that she needs to ask but it's not unreasonable to expect her to keep her voice down.

It's also unreasonable to suggest that you can somehow 'train' someone with anxiety out of their responses. 🙄

You might want to consider offering the surgery feedback from your visit rather than a complaint, it just sounds like the receptionist could do with a reminder about discretion.

Summerof76a · 27/04/2023 17:30

I doubt the receptionist bellowed.

Kitkatfiend31 · 27/04/2023 18:09

YANBU! I can hear many people's full names, dob and address etc when I sit in our docs waiting room. Is there a reason you need a flu jab? Would be reasonable question. Are you pregnant is not.

Gymrabbit · 27/04/2023 18:19

Yanbu - and please note that the vote agrees with you.
personal questions should not be asked in a waiting room full of people and ‘are you pregnant?’ Is one of the most personal ones.

Redbone · 27/04/2023 18:51

YANBU the receptionist was in the wrong and, perhaps too, the design of the reception area. All to frequently I have sat in my old GP’s surgery to hear all sorts of intimate details of people I know being discussed among the receptionists and on the phone. When I complained to the practice manager he denied that the receptionists ever did this! Thankfully I’m not with that GP any more.

nomoredriving · 27/04/2023 19:07

Redbone · 27/04/2023 18:51

YANBU the receptionist was in the wrong and, perhaps too, the design of the reception area. All to frequently I have sat in my old GP’s surgery to hear all sorts of intimate details of people I know being discussed among the receptionists and on the phone. When I complained to the practice manager he denied that the receptionists ever did this! Thankfully I’m not with that GP any more.

Crikey how long are you in there and do you live in a very small place?