AIBU to be annoyed at Doctors Receptionist?

[Hoppinggreen]

DD18 has anxiety and struggles in a lot of situations, her main trigger is being embarrassed in public. She is on The Pill for very painful periods, she may also be sexual active, none of my business.
She had a nurse appointment today for a repeat prescription and I don’t in go with her but she did ask me to take her and stay in the waiting room.
She came out of her appointment with the nurse and went to Reception to ask about getting her Flu jab (she has asthma). I am encouraging her to do more things like this on her own so I stayed seated across the other side of the room.
I then heard “why, are you pregnant?” From The Receptionist, as did everyone else in the room. DD went very red and said “no, I have asthma”. (She told me this I didn’t hear her reply)
Afterwards as we left she said did I think it was ok for her to be asked that so loudly in a crowded room? I said not but I ask you MNetters- should I/she be annoyed or upset?
I won’t make a complaint unless DD wants to, in which case I will advise her on what to do but I do think it’s not on to ask a young woman if she is pregnant in a loud voice in a crowded waiting room, Aibu?

@Hoppinggreen but presumably if the receptionist says it so loud that everyone heard, your complaint is that? So DD could respond quietly either, yes or no?

Exactly what I am doing but I find your comment about “indulging her anxiety” quite offensive to be honest.
I am sure this is the part where you tell me all about your own experiences with anxiety and we have tried tough love, ignoring and many other tactics - advised by both NHS and Private Medical Professionals but never “indulged” any of her MH issues

I’m asthmatic. Whenever I ask for a flu jab they say “what makes you eligible” tactful and I just tell them asthma. All sorted. The receptionist shouldn’t have asked if she was pregnant - it was quite presumptuous.

I don't think you are helping your DD by making such a big thing about this. It won't just be your DD who has been asked this question, she hasn't been singled out. There is nothing to complain about, you really are making a mountain out of a molehill. I have been asked if I'm pregnant many times over the years, it is a standard question, and I couldn't care less who overhears.

I don’t have a complaint really, I just wondered if other people feel The Receptionist should have been more discreet.
I have told DD that while I appreciate why she was a bit uncomfortable it’s fine.
I have always tried to be as calm as possible in front of her when she spirals and it seems she is ok now

Again, I am being very calm IRL

I think you’re overreacting. Your daughter is an adult woman, there would have been nothing ‘wrong’ with her being pregnant so there’s no way the receptionist could predict she would have been embarrassed by the question. It’s a perfectly valid question to ask someone in a medical setting.

Exactly what I am doing but I find your comment about “indulging her anxiety” quite offensive to be honest

Thus proving my point that people look to be offended. You're modelling that for her. Can't you show her how to shrug things off?

That's not how ears work.

It's personal information audible to other people in the room. How does the receptionist know if:

DD's abusive partner is there?
DD's abusive mother is there?
DD's neighbour or employer is there?

It's personal medical information and shouldn't be required in a non-private setting. I would complain.

Wow, you just cured anxiety.
Well done

We have plenty of flu vaccines left in the fridge. From memory they expire end of June. So they are available, but the 'season' ended 31st March. They can be given under a patient specific directive if clinically indicated, ie, a doctor signs to authorise the nurse to administer one at this late time.
Sorry, not the point of the thread.

I'm not just back after a ban @Hoppinggreen so I can say what I think. That's a shitty comment on top of another shitty comment by @SunshineGeorgie and I've reported it.

This place is a sewer sometimes.

Patient confidentiality. Data protection. Both poor at this surgery.

Thank you
I over enthusiastically challenged a racist so I have to behave now 😁

Probably well worth a week off @Hoppinggreen

Wow, you just cured anxiety.
Well done

Stop it, OP. You asked and people are responding. Personally, I think it was a bit off of the receptionist but the best thing you can do for your DD is to not make a fuss about this. Plenty of things to take a stand on but not this.

I would have just said sometimes you are asked questions that make you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to answer if that’s the case. However if she does go for her flu jab in sept the nurses will ask a few health questions when she is there too, just so prepare her. I’ve given vaccines to some very anxious and worried people some phobic and we can take her into a private room, she can lie down and she can have you with her if she needs that.

I hope she’ll not be deterred from asking again but you should get more info about flu season in the autumn when she’s due, usually 75 and over are done first and people with severe health conditions and housebound. At 18 she’ll likely be later into winter, it’s good she’s looking after her health and being proactive. Hope things improve for her soon op, you sound like a very caring mum

Personally I would be reporting this to the practice manager. Whether pregnant or not is personal, private information that for some people could have dangerous consequences if overheard and repeated.

Just because alot of people here have no issue with all and sundry knowing the ins and outs of their medical history and current reproductive situation doesn't mean it's fine for everyone.

I would have just said sometimes you are asked questions that make you feel uncomfortable, you don’t have to answer if that’s the case.

I would take the opportunity to teach her that it's actually not ok for anyone to ask her pregnancy status, outwith private medical appointments, regardless of how old she is.

However if she does go for her flu jab in sept the nurses will ask a few health questions when she is there too, just so prepare her.

That's not the same as being asked in the reception, by the receptionis

YANBU - if you only heard that one sentence presumably she was capable of speaking at a normal volume... which she used the rest of the time?

Which is exactly what I have done.

I've never understood why anyone asks anything personal of the receptionist in a doctors waiting room. The whole waiting room can hear - especially since covid and the introduction of screens.

If you dont want the whole waiting room to know, don't ask. Or assume they are all going to hear.

DD said she felt judged but to be fair her perception about these things are often a bit off due to her MH.
She does look a bit young I suppose but I expect The Receptionist was at worst insensitive or thoughtless

Thank you.
The fact that I didn’t need to go in with her was progress and we inch forwards so your post is very helpful.
She is a fainter too unfortunately (Covid vax were fun) but she’s getting there and all being well will cope at Uni

Sorry if it wasn't clear meant the Receptionist!
If you only heard that one sentence from the Receptionist .. then receptionist could presumably speak more softly as you didn't hear the rest?
therefore YANBU to be annoyed.

OTOH if the place was loud and she had to raise her voice you'd have heard everything.

Also if you couldn't hear your DD at all, only the Receptionist the latter must've' understood the former. No need to shout