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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this cause a problem in your house

113 replies

Sunshineoh · 26/04/2023 10:58

We are going away to a seaside resort in a few weeks with my extended family. Its inly a 2 night trip. They are all travelling early Friday morning to get there to have a whole day. I have booked the day off and the kids are off school but DH can only have a half day minimum so wouldn't be able to leave until 12.30.
I have said to him that me and DCs will travel with my Mum early so we don't miss most of the day there.
He is really unhappy with me, saying I will do what I want anyway but why can't we just wait.
AIBU here, should I wait?
It's a 2 hour drive away so I thought he could just meet us there when he is finished work. Will mean we aren't sat at home waiting for him.

OP posts:
MysteryBelle · 26/04/2023 17:00

5128gap · 26/04/2023 16:42

Can't believe that people think its 'nice' he wants to travel with them! A man wanting to be with his wife and children is really not an 'Ah bless him, aren't you lucky' moment that everyone in the family should put themselves out to accommodate. It should be the default. As should putting aside what he wants in the interests of his children.

🙄

I would think the same if it were the wife wanting to travel with husband and children.

Why does everything come down to hating men, apparently he’s an abuser according to another poster, he’s controlling, why does he even have to come, 😂, he needs to be told what’s happening, it’s bizarre, it comes across as you’re projecting your own bad experience with a guy and so all men are evil. He dare he want to travel together on a holiday, throw him into the brig.

Not very logical or intelligent reasoning…full of inexplicable malice in fact.

Some of you certainly need a holiday by yourselves 😀

WonderingWanda · 26/04/2023 17:01

We do this often. My dh actively encourages it when we are camping so he doesn't have to pitch the tent 😂. I can't see why this makes any difference to your dh.

Rosula · 26/04/2023 17:08

My DH is another one who would be absolutely delighted to get out of travelling with the DC. I also sympathise with you about not relying on your DH finishing on time - I've been the mug who relied on that sort of promise and found we were leaving hours late because "I just couldn't get away, how could I just walk out of work?"

You are certainly not being unreasonable. It just makes no sense for you and the children to be sitting around waiting for him when you could be at the seaside.

JMSA · 26/04/2023 17:09

YANBU.

5128gap · 26/04/2023 17:12

MysteryBelle · 26/04/2023 17:00

🙄

I would think the same if it were the wife wanting to travel with husband and children.

Why does everything come down to hating men, apparently he’s an abuser according to another poster, he’s controlling, why does he even have to come, 😂, he needs to be told what’s happening, it’s bizarre, it comes across as you’re projecting your own bad experience with a guy and so all men are evil. He dare he want to travel together on a holiday, throw him into the brig.

Not very logical or intelligent reasoning…full of inexplicable malice in fact.

Some of you certainly need a holiday by yourselves 😀

Show quote history

Considering it selfish that one parent wants to make their family wait several hours in the house for them when they could be at the seaside is not even close to hating men. Nor is my comment in any way malicious or based on a poor relationship (I'm in a happy one) Nice try, but there's is no misandry to see here. False alarm. Stand down the troops.😂

MysteryBelle · 26/04/2023 17:14

5128gap · 26/04/2023 17:12

Considering it selfish that one parent wants to make their family wait several hours in the house for them when they could be at the seaside is not even close to hating men. Nor is my comment in any way malicious or based on a poor relationship (I'm in a happy one) Nice try, but there's is no misandry to see here. False alarm. Stand down the troops.😂

Show quote history

Sure.

ReadersD1gest · 26/04/2023 17:16

MysteryBelle · 26/04/2023 17:14

Sure.

Show quote history

You still don't agree, @MysteryBelle ?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/04/2023 17:23

What is best on a holiday with kids is what's nicest for the kids. In this case it's an extra few hours on the holiday instead of sitting around at home.

Goldbar · 26/04/2023 18:35

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/04/2023 17:23

What is best on a holiday with kids is what's nicest for the kids. In this case it's an extra few hours on the holiday instead of sitting around at home.

I agree. On a family holiday, the kids' enjoyment should be prioritised by both parents.

celticprincess · 27/04/2023 10:43

My ex DH when we were married took the kids to a caravan holiday a day (might have been 2) ahead of me. It was fine. The caravan was booked for the 5 days but I had to attend training on one or two of them (can’t remember it was so long ago). So I went down later. We did take 2 cars but only because he was needing to be able to go out one night to attend something else while there and come back a day later from that. It wasn’t to do with not booking the correct annual leave (I’m a teacher and we can’t book annual leave and this was a training inset day type thing which I had to attend but the holiday was booked to coincide with both our holiday week and family in another county.

If it was a full on family holiday abroad with flights it would never have happened.

Ragwort · 27/04/2023 10:50

Is there more to it in that a weekend away with his ILs doesn't really appeal? Is he just tagging along because it's something you want to do?

Ivanovaa · 27/04/2023 11:12

YANBU. Does he have control issues?

BeautifulWar · 27/04/2023 11:56

YANBU, especially as it's only a 2 night break, half a day is a substantial part of the trip.

Had it been a two week trip, I'd wait.

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