Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would this cause a problem in your house

113 replies

Sunshineoh · 26/04/2023 10:58

We are going away to a seaside resort in a few weeks with my extended family. Its inly a 2 night trip. They are all travelling early Friday morning to get there to have a whole day. I have booked the day off and the kids are off school but DH can only have a half day minimum so wouldn't be able to leave until 12.30.
I have said to him that me and DCs will travel with my Mum early so we don't miss most of the day there.
He is really unhappy with me, saying I will do what I want anyway but why can't we just wait.
AIBU here, should I wait?
It's a 2 hour drive away so I thought he could just meet us there when he is finished work. Will mean we aren't sat at home waiting for him.

OP posts:
Glassfullofdreams · 26/04/2023 11:53

I wouldn't leave for a family trip without a member of said family.

However, this wouldn't happen in my house because I'd make sure the appropriate holiday was booked before even booking the trip.

ReadersD1gest · 26/04/2023 11:54

Glassfullofdreams · 26/04/2023 11:53

I wouldn't leave for a family trip without a member of said family.

However, this wouldn't happen in my house because I'd make sure the appropriate holiday was booked before even booking the trip.

But he's following on in a couple of hours, not forced to stay home for the weekend to mind the fire.

DanceMonster · 26/04/2023 11:56

My DH would jump at the chance of a 2 hour drive on his own, listening to podcasts instead of children bickering in the back seat.

DanceMonster · 26/04/2023 11:57

Glassfullofdreams · 26/04/2023 11:53

I wouldn't leave for a family trip without a member of said family.

However, this wouldn't happen in my house because I'd make sure the appropriate holiday was booked before even booking the trip.

Why isn’t the holiday appropriate?

DanceMonster · 26/04/2023 11:57

Ah sorry I’ve just realised you meant annual leave. Even so, why does it make any difference if he follows behind on his own?

WideFootWelly · 26/04/2023 12:10

We were going on a week long holiday last year (UK), he dragged his feet booking annual leave and then approved someone else's annual leave so couldn't book himself. Suggested we go for the long weekend instead.
I said he could go for a long weekend, me and the kids were going for a week.

He doesn't drive, he got the train to us.
He wasn't thrilled, but he didn't moan about it - and this year he's booked annual leave in advance.

NeedToChangeName · 26/04/2023 12:11

This wouldn't cause a problem in our house

anunlikelyseahorse · 26/04/2023 12:14

No issues here dh would relish some quiet time!
Is he worried about doing the drive on his own though? It's the only reason why I can think he'd want you to wait for him? Or does he feel you spend to much time with your mum?

BowiesJumper · 26/04/2023 12:16

No we’ve done similar before. Why would he want the kids to miss a few hours just for his sake?

how will he be getting there?

SchoolShenanigans · 26/04/2023 12:18

My partner wouldn't have a problem with that. He'd probably work a normal day and come down in the evening.

I really don't see what the problem with, unless he's worried to drive on his own?

tattygrl · 26/04/2023 12:19

Comes down to communication, as usual. Have you asked him why it bothers him so much?

FWIW I think you're not being unreasonable at all. Makes perfect sense for you and the kids to head off straight away.

Kanaloa · 26/04/2023 12:27

It would cause an issue for me if I was the one driving the kids down at the crack of dawn. If I was the DH getting a quiet drive down myself I would be ecstatic 😂

Fupoffyagrasshole · 26/04/2023 12:28

jeez i even sometimes fly a day earlier than my husband when we visit our family in Ireland - (I don't work fridays - he does) so often my daughter and i go on thursday evening and see him friday night! means we get extra day holiday

never even would have entered my head to wait

Aquamarine1029 · 26/04/2023 12:30

Glassfullofdreams · 26/04/2023 11:53

I wouldn't leave for a family trip without a member of said family.

However, this wouldn't happen in my house because I'd make sure the appropriate holiday was booked before even booking the trip.

🙄

BellaJuno · 26/04/2023 12:31

We’d travel together, unless my DH had mucked up booking his leave from work in time, then he could suck up the consequences of it by travelling alone. But I wouldn’t plan to travel seperately otherwise.

Phoebo · 26/04/2023 12:33

Lovely he wants you to wait so you can all go together, but slightly selfish on his part as then you miss out. No clear answer, but at least your husband loves his family even if he's technically putting himself first 😵‍💫

mumto2teenagers · 26/04/2023 12:34

This wouldn't cause any issue in our house and we have often done similar.

Goldbar · 26/04/2023 12:34

Nope, my DH would be delighted at the prospect of the children being removed early from the house and someone else's problem while he worked and then packed and set off in perfect peace and quiet.

And to the poster above, I fail to see how it's your responsibility to sort annual leave on behalf of your OH (or check it has been sorted).

GoodChat · 26/04/2023 12:35

Let me guess, he also hasn't helped with anything of the packing, won't unpack when you get there and won't want to watch the kids while you go to the supermarket to stock up for the weekend?

Greentree1 · 26/04/2023 12:36

Let the kids go with your Mum and you go with him, nice relaxing drive just the two of you and a quiet morning at home.

MathsNervous · 26/04/2023 12:47

DanceMonster · 26/04/2023 11:56

My DH would jump at the chance of a 2 hour drive on his own, listening to podcasts instead of children bickering in the back seat.

This.

BellePeppa · 26/04/2023 12:49

He sounds like a manbaby. Why can’t he just meet you there like a proper grown up!

BellePeppa · 26/04/2023 12:53

Glassfullofdreams · 26/04/2023 11:53

I wouldn't leave for a family trip without a member of said family.

However, this wouldn't happen in my house because I'd make sure the appropriate holiday was booked before even booking the trip.

These things happen and if a grown ass man can’t make his own way on a two hour journey to join the family later then something is very wrong with his lack of independent capabilities. I’m probably the wrong person to give an opinion though as I’m fiercely independent and don’t like needy/clingy people.

CurlewKate · 26/04/2023 13:00

I've been thinking and thinking-and I can't see any reason at all for this to cause a problem!

CurlewKate · 26/04/2023 13:01

@Greentree1 So the OP misses out on half a day of holiday too? WHY????