To ask you to share CF in law stories from your weddings?

[Sconesandgravy]

Please share your CF in law stories from your weddings. I need to know it's not just me that has one.

I got married on Saturday. We had a micro wedding for multiple reasons. Our daughter, our closest friend each and their partner, and our parents or in my case parental. No siblings or other family.

My Mother in Law is weirdly emeshed with DH's two older siblings and can't cope if they aren't included in everything.

As we were cutting the cake, and having our moment, She shouts out "Make sure you save a piece for BIL, SIL and grandad!" After we'd served everyone she hacked off a huge messy chunk for them, rather than take the finger slices we'd been cutting rendering the rest of the top tier unusable.

It sounds childish but out of all the "petty" moments of the day this one stuck out the most. I think it's because she "stole" my moment.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it in years to come, but it's been four days and amongst the nastier things she did I am beyond angry. So I'm using MN as a form of catharsis, in the hopes that other people have nightmare in laws 😁

”MIL also ‘tested’ the pen for the signing book and drew a biro penis on the table cloth. The hotel were not pleased.”

She drew a penis in biro on a table cloth???! I am completely gobsmacked - I can’t find any words for this.

First wedding my MIL wore black and my FIL wore a scarlet rose buttonhole. Not that weird but it wasn’t the buttonhole we’d had made for him - it was the one he’d saved from SILs wedding 10 years earlier.

MIL was also overheard (by my mum!) telling my ex-h “Life’s a bitch and then you marry one”

Second wedding, we eloped. Just me, DW and my children. MIL had totally taken over our plans and was insisting it was basically a huge piss up for her family (we emigrated to DWs country so barely any of my family would have been able to make it). Everytime we saw her the planned invite list had an extra 20 people on it and the coats were escalating way out of control. Dresses were ordered, venue was booked, deposits paid but we couldn’t deal so eloped instead.

When DW phoned her dad after we’d gotten married to tell him he was so happy for us, then he realised he’d have to tell his wife!!

MIL won’t talk about the wedding, refuses to look at any photos or even discuss it. She just moans constantly about how the only time she sees her family is at funerals and how it would be so nice to get together for a happy occasion (while glaring at us) and tries to get us to commit to an anniversary party (that we’d pay for).

We’d cut her off (she’s a total nightmare) but FIL is great and it’s not fair on him.

worst one I went to was where the father of the groom was completely left out.

sat at a table right at the back, left standing around for hours while the photos were taken, left out of the speeches. Everything.

more insulting that not being invited at all. Poor man was devastated.

They get on fine. They're not majorly close.

As I said before MIL is quite emeshed with her eldest two. There's been a lot of shitty behaviour that she has either encouraged or enabled over the years. They can do no wrong.
One of the reasons DH wanted best friends rather than siblings was because apparently his entire life has always been the SIL and BIL show. And the wedding would have been the same situation. If either older sibling isn't happy, or feels "unequal" MIL will do anything to fix that. Even if it's at the expense of DH.

That obviously isn't the only reason we chose not to invite siblings. And kept our best friends. But for DH it was a significant contributing factor. He felt he deserved his day, even if he had to be selfish to get it

Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they have to be more special to you than friends. My brothers an absolute dick, I have a relationship with him but would much rather my friend of 20 years be at my wedding than him

I had only met my future MIL twice before our wedding, once at her father’s funeral and once when she called us because her alcoholic husband (not DH’s father) had been physically abusing her, this had been happening for years, she kept going back to him but insisted this time she was leaving. We drove 200+ miles, on the way down there my now DH had contacted an estate agent, paid a deposit and first months rent on a house for her (roughly £900, which was a lot 30 years ago). Moved her and DH’s young half sister in and checked she was okay and drove back as work the next day, arriving in the early hours. Next day she blagged all the money back from the estate agent, didn’t offer us a penny back and went on holiday with husband to the Dominican Republic all inclusive for a fresh start!

So, forward a couple of years and we were getting married. DH phoned to tell her and invite her. She got in a strop because I wasn’t having DH’s half sister as a bridesmaid (i didn’t really know her and tbh she was a spooky little thing). My DH’s father has died when my DH was 19 and he missed him a lot and he didn’t want his mother’s husband at the top table (see above!). He phoned his mother to give her the choice of sitting on the top table alone or at the first table with her husband and daughter at the table next to ours. She was fine about it but then phoned a few hours later and said if her husband and daughter couldn’t sit at the top table then she wasn’t coming. DH said fine and put the phone down, really not overly bothered.

Long story short they came, her revolting husband got drunk, trod on my wedding dress twice tripping me and sending me head first towards the ceididh band we had playing. How I saved myself I’ll never know. She eventually left him and then moved near us (🙄 great…). She’s still totally self absorbed and a CF.

phew felt good getting that off my chest!

My mil did something similar! When i got to the hairdresser she was already sat in the seat getting her hair done, she then proceeded to be extra fussy and keep making changes and left me with very little time to get mine done! She was actually supposed to go after me!

@Sconesandgravy for what it's worth, your wedding sounds perfect to me.

For my small wedding (siblings and parents only) one of my sister's decided that was the day to dye her hair sky blue. She was determined to be the centre of attention...even though the attention could only be from our immediate family or my husband's.

I'm not entirely sure why but my SIL had me photoshopped out of all of her wedding photos, along with BIL (her brother, not my husband). Fairly certain I was only invited because she wanted my children in the wedding party.

Some people are just weird and selfish.

I have no idea why your dhs siblings weren't invited. Surely that's the CF

@maddy68 For the same reason mine weren't. We wanted a small wedding with our child, one best friend each, my DHs parents and my Parental figures(not parents). 😁

My mother is the cf in my story. She invited 100 people to the Afters of my wedding. Behind my back. My sister made my invitations and made 2 evening invitations for our workplaces. My mother wasn't happy because there was loads of people she wanted to invite to the Afters. She proceeded to tell my sister that I had changed my mind about the evening invitations and had her make some more invitations and sent them inviting 100 people. I didn't find out until it was too late and the invitations were sent.

My mil doesn't like me either. So in the weeks after the wedding, we were visiting and my sil said I should come.look at all the pics from the wedding that my mil had put up on the wall. My husband was in 1 pic and I wasn't in any of the pics! They were all of her grandchildren and her other children and their partners.

I'd say you sound nasty rather than a drip

Fucking hell did you read the posts explaining that grandad is to I'll to leave his nursing home?
The new mn where everyone just invents what they've read.

My MIL and FIL are divorced. At our wedding she told my mum that FIL said he doesn’t like my mum because she thinks she is richer and better than everyone else. My mum does not think that nor has FIL ever said that.

She interrupted our first dance (once others had started dancing) and cried at me because she doesn’t know me and my DH won’t let her know me.

Told my uncle that the only good thing about her son marrying me was that she might get grandchildren soon.

Perhaps read ops posts you'll find out.

Some very harsh replies on here (from, I suspect MILs). My DB and SIL didn’t invite any siblings to their small wedding. We still love them 20 years later, see them frequently and hold no grudges. Their wedding, their choice.

@Sconesandgravy exh and I had a similar small wedding. 2 friends and their spouses, the two friends acted as witnesses. I spoke to h’s parents and explained it hardly seemed worth them driving 150 miles for 10 minutes in a register office; they agree. We and friends went for lunch after the register office then we drove to a hotel near his parents and had dinner with them in the evening. I was almost NC with my parents so told them we’d married 6 months later. They weren’t at all interested, never met him.
Your mil sounds attention seeking.

So you could not have even an iota of an idea why siblings or family weren't invited? I think we must share a braincell, because people like you confound me with your lack of thinking.

@potniatheron 😂😂

@ReadersD1gest Margaret... Is that you?! 🤣🤣🤣

@Sconesandgravy we also have similar issues on both sides, low contact with both sets. To the poster that responded it must be you, nope some people just have shit parents and can’t see outside there lovely packaged life.

The comment about how she treated your child though is horrific. I would be cutting down contact for that, how traumatising for your child.

share CF in law stories from your weddings

Oh yes. MiL demanded a photo(by the professional photographer paid for by my parents) of my husband (her son) and her daughter. She and her husband stormed off, showing their anger, from the church when told it wasn't part of the plan.

This is after she took a photo of my partner and his sister at our engagement party and kept it by her bed for two years.

She had access to her son and daughter whenever she wanted. She could take photographs of them at home. She could book a session with a photographer (there was no shortage of money) to get beautiful photos of her children. That wasn't what she wanted. She wanted a photo of her son and daughter at 'the engagement' and a photo of her son and daughter at 'the wedding'.

After that I just assumed she was a sicko who would have liked her son and daughter to marry each other.

Not my wedding but my best friend's - she's given me the "role" of planning her hen do. She understandably wanted everyone to contribute to their own accommodation etc and arrange it as a getaway for the girls, rather than a specific hen do in a venue etc. We could all decide on a plan we are all happy with, as well as something we knew the bride would like. The bride, on her request, was not in the groupchat that us girls had to plan the hen do as it was supposed to be a surprise.

We'd spent a month or so organising a little trip away that would be fun, affordable and avoided international travel to further save on costs but also hassle. This is due to some of the attendees being in financial situations which meant we couldn't have stretched our budget further but we thought the bride would rather the good company and laughs with all of us than booking a much more expensive holiday far away where only half of us could attend. The holiday we'd agreed on was in the same country we live in, but a few hours away in the car so a proper "getaway" and we'd planned some activities and places to visit that we knew the bride would like.

We also agreed that we would all contribute to pay all costs for the bride as a wedding present, meaning we could just give her the dates and a list of what to pack.

I messaged the bride to let her know that a decision had been made and as long as she was available on "x dates" then we would book it up! She then replied to say she'd actually forgotten she'd asked me to book the hen-do and told me that she'd been planning one herself. She said she still wanted everyone to pay for themselves, but after further discussions it became apparent that the cost we would all have to pay for the hen do was far more than most of us could reasonably spend on our budgets (think 5* hotel in foreign country for 10 days rather than long weekend somewhere closer and more affordable for the majority). The bride is in a much more fortunate financial situation than the rest of us and while we are genuinely happy for her success obviously, it means we can't really afford the same type of holidays that she can. Also not all of us have the availability or time off work to take a 10 day holiday.

I explained we'd planned something for her, and sadly almost all of us couldn't afford her holiday. Cue the most almighty blow-up from her, she phoned me and started shouting/crying about how we couldn't make sacrifices for her and her wedding, we couldn't be true friends if we wouldn't even consider making cuts elsewhere in our household budgets to accommodate her plans, she shouldn't have left us to plan something as she knew we'd do it "on the cheap" etc. It went on for ages and honestly I was gobsmacked and really hurt. I understood we'd done an "affordable" getaway but it was still planned to be lovely, with beautiful accommodation, activities etc and she did admit that she thought it would be nice but she added "it's not what I want before my wedding".

Unfortunately now the bride is essentially going on her hen do in the 5* hotel with her fiancee as the only other people who is able to spend the amount it costs, defeating the object of a hen-do, and she has pissed off the girls who tried to do our best to give her the best hen do while ensuring everyone she wanted to come could be present. We aren't really sure what to do or say and don't want to make the situation any worse but we are all pretty hurt by her outburst.

Fml, missed the "in law" part of the OP, sorry for my post above which, as it turns out, is pretty irrelevant to your post 😞

My PIL ignored me and my family all of the wedding day, choosing to hold court in one corner of the venue. They even ignored my lovely and diplomatic Granny (who sadly isn't alive anymore). We got married at 22 and they really didn't approve of the marriage or me.

MIL came up to my friend and bridesmaid (who she only met the day before) and gave her an emotional hug but then ignored me.

Invited 10 people I hadn't met and DH barely knew just because I had a bigger family and kept going on about "bride's side and groom's side". We specifically asked for everyone to sit where they liked and not feel obliged to split into sides, then I walk down the aisle with my dad to see everyone split up and the best man's wife had been told to sit in a row on her own by MIL.

MIL insisted they be given a tier of the wedding cake in order to post it out to people (distant relatives and her work colleagues) who weren't at the wedding. When we said no, she bought a cheap iced fruitcake and posted it out and passed it off as ours. Who even posts cake?!

His dad wore trainers with his creased suit that looked like it had been slept in.

His sister refused to take any pics with her expensive equipment (our photographer let us down last minute), all we've got now is what people could capture on their iPhone 4 on the day. She didn't exactly enjoy the wedding so not sure what her excuse was.

They refused to write in the guest book.

I hated our entire wedding, spent it with an anxiety migraine.

Gosh people are upset about no siblings!

I attended a wedding (as a friend. My partner did too) where there was no siblings OR parents. No siblings, cos they’re close but not that close, and no parents because they’re divorced and just can’t behave themselves. People are allowed to invite who they want to their weddings.