To ask you to share CF in law stories from your weddings?

[Sconesandgravy]

Please share your CF in law stories from your weddings. I need to know it's not just me that has one.

I got married on Saturday. We had a micro wedding for multiple reasons. Our daughter, our closest friend each and their partner, and our parents or in my case parental. No siblings or other family.

My Mother in Law is weirdly emeshed with DH's two older siblings and can't cope if they aren't included in everything.

As we were cutting the cake, and having our moment, She shouts out "Make sure you save a piece for BIL, SIL and grandad!" After we'd served everyone she hacked off a huge messy chunk for them, rather than take the finger slices we'd been cutting rendering the rest of the top tier unusable.

It sounds childish but out of all the "petty" moments of the day this one stuck out the most. I think it's because she "stole" my moment.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it in years to come, but it's been four days and amongst the nastier things she did I am beyond angry. So I'm using MN as a form of catharsis, in the hopes that other people have nightmare in laws 😁

My husband's Aunty didn't want us to get married on the family farm even though we had the Grandparent's permission.

Two weeks before our wedding she got real serious about us not getting married there, really nasty, she said that if we went ahead with it that she would call the police and have us thrown off on the day.

In the end we had to move our wedding to avoid the risk of that happening.

We were lucky to know someone who allowed us to use their property instead but it was an hour away from the original venue and meant we had to rearrange all our service providers, we were very lucky that the ones that couldn't do the change of venue gave us a refund of our deposit and others were able to attend the new venue.

I had same thought.

poached Salmon 🤮 I’d have to have popped out for something I could eat.

if 50% of guests went to the grubs up window….. the people manning the grubs up window probably saved the wedding.

Thank you for this!
I genuinely don't think people understand how to read between the lines or that some families are absolutely toxic.

Of course my opinion of MILs emeshment isn't purely based on this one thing, and of course I've explained further when asked.

But people aren't going to read the comments because that will detract their agenda

DH’s family are Greek and a couple of years after our civil ceremony we had a religious wedding there, mainly for their benefit (neither of us really care about religion). MIL was a nightmare from start to finish. A few examples:

I had the bridesmaids dresses custom made in the UK. Asked if DH’s nieces wanted dresses to be made for them and was told, no, will get them made in Greece, much cheaper etc. I sent the fabric 6 months in advance, two months before the wedding the dresses still hadn’t been made. So MIL hired dresses she wanted. These were nice, but nothing like the others. She claimed she would sew parts of the fabric (silver stars) onto the dresses so they matched. She didn’t and then gaslit me about ever having said she would do.

We wanted blue, purple and white flowers at the wedding. She didn’t and told the florist to do red, orange and yellow ones. The only reason we found out was the florist phoned us to check (we were paying for the whole wedding) and we were able to change them.

On the wedding day she saw me having a single solitary glass of champagne (the horror!) and then proceeded to make multiple comments about me being a “drunk” bride. Right.

She insisted on getting her hair and makeup done last and seemed to think that as the bride I should wait for her. I didn’t. The wedding party walked off towards the church and she had to sprint to catch up with us. She arrived at the church puffing and sweating.

She confiscated the wedding favours I had ordered and saved for my family that couldn’t make it and insisted on giving these to all her neighbours, that I neither knew nor had ever met. This was apparently fine.

She decided the shorts and shirt outfits I picked out for our sons were not “suitable”. It was hot and I wanted them to be comfortable. So she bought and insisted they wear trouser suits which they hated and which got torn and dirty within 30 minutes of them putting them on. I got them changed into the cooler, more comfortable outfits I picked and she had a tantrum about this .
She also took my bouquet that I was saving to be pressed as a memento from the wedding and threw it away because I “didn’t need it”.

Ah that was cathartic! For this and many other reasons we are low contact with her.

My DM was buying my wedding dress for me (we were paying for everything else - no contribution from PIL, which was fine, we could afford it). We were looking forward to it, and planned to make a girly day of it with lunch afterwards.

MIL announced she wanted to take me dress shopping instead of DM, as she worked in fashion and would have a better eye. I could just send DM the bill.

Funnily enough I didn’t take her up on that “kind” offer.

I can’t understand why OP is getting shit. Threads where people ask if they are BU to be upset about not receiving an invite to a relative’s wedding are full of comments like ‘omg they can invite who they want, it’s not YOUR wedding’ 🙄

Our wedding was small, immediate family only.
Registry office, no church, no white dress, bridesmaids etc very very low key.
Immediate family only, we paid for our familiea to stay overnight in a 5 star hotel. The meal was held in a very small alcove in hotel restaurant.
A la carte menu, could choose whatever you wanted.
We had an lovely meal and next thing the waiter brings out a wedding cake. A wedding cake that we didn't organise.
Turns out MIL organised the cake. I thought it was her overstepping the mark. It's not something we wanted. If we wanted a cake it certainly wouldn't have been the one she bought.
To this day it annoys me no end.

'Getting on fine' isn't the same as being very close though. The OP has also mentioned that they are both very close to their best friends. Blood relatives don't take precedence just because they are blood relatives. OP also mentions that none of the siblings minded.

MIL made a massive song and dance about wanting to pay for the bar at our wedding, made a big thing throughout the day that ‘drinks were on her’ to all the guests. Fine. A generous thing to do and we appreciated it.

Two months later I get a call from the company to say mother in law is refusing to pay the invoice and told him that I was settling it. He then threatens small claims court. It was around £2000. I spoke to her and she denied she’d ever said that and accused us of having forged her signature on the contract she’d signed.

I think she caved and paid him a few further months after that. The poor bloke really didn’t care as long as he got his money, I remember him ringing me daily for weeks and constantly telling him his contract wasn’t with me and he needed to speak to MIL.

MIL also ‘tested’ the pen for the signing book and drew a biro penis on the table cloth. The hotel were not pleased.

She’s an utter tit 😁

The first clue I had that things were going on behind the scenes were when I tried to book a local hairdresser (I’d never met her but DH’s cousin had recommended her and everyone in the family went to her) but was told that she couldn’t fit me in as she was going to a wedding herself. It turns out that it was our wedding she was going to and that DH’s family had been randomly inviting people as they bumped into them. They hadn’t mentioned it to us and appear to have taken us saying we wanted a very informal day as us having a ‘No invite necessary’ policy. We had a big wedding but there had to have been a good 20 people there who we hadn’t invited.

I invited her to come dress shopping with me (she hasn’t got any daughters and BiLs both married women who live abroad) and she just didn’t respond to me. I showed her my dress and she simply said ‘oh’ and then changed the subject to what we were having for dinner that evening.

We’d decided not to have a cake. We had lots of different puddings, sweets, etc and neither of us were that bothered about having one. Halfway through the evening I noticed a pile of sweaty looking doughnuts on a table and discovered that MiL had been horrified at the thought of no cake so had sent FiL out to Asda to get the doughnuts. An absolute waste.

Then we had her not saying a word to me all day. Or my family. No ‘Congratulations’ or ‘Welcome to the family’. She just avoided us all from start to finish. She spent most of the reception in the photo booth with BiL’s now ex DP and DP’s aunts.

Then DH’s father tried to invite himself on honeymoon with us and DH’s wonderful step mum had to explain to him why we might not want to spend the week with him.

All of that was more comical than anything else. What was worse was my sister (we are not at all close) announcing that she would be my bridesmaid but would be choosing her own dress that I would pay for, being outraged that I would decline her offer, making very hurtful comments about my actual bridesmaid in front of my young niece (who promptly repeated them), telling me that it didn’t matter what anyone else thought about the dresses for the flower girls, so long as I liked them, and then ambushing me outside the church as I was about to walk in, to tell me that she’d wait outside with her DH and my nieces (both flower girls) as there was nowhere for them to sit (she hadn’t bothered to walk down any further than the first couple of pews so hadn’t seen the one reserved for her). Aside from that, it was a brilliant day!

I can provide the texts if you want?

Of course I'm angry about the incident with my daughter. But myself and DH have dealt with it and I wanted a post about CF in laws not vile abusive in laws.

There you go. The text from my husband to his parents.

Well if she was going to save the top tier for a future Christening like we did, then the cake wouldn’t look great with a chunk missing. Perhaps op though if this is the case you could get it fixed up for any future occasion.

Because the trolls and the MILs from hell are clearly out in force 😬

My mum rearranged our Table plan an hour before my first wedding. She out all he formed sans her truly terrible sister at the front and all our friends and exh's family at the back of the room where we couldn't see them.
I was livid.

No, because you've drip fed the full picture.

I suppose we don't know what dynamics had led to that, although I still don't think it's unreasonable for them to expect their culture to be included as well.

That suggests you think there is a “dynamic” that makes it acceptable to decide you’re going to cater someone’s wedding without telling them…

My FIL (who frankly is a complete twat) seemed very put out when my dad delivered a cracking father-of-the-bride speech which had everyone in hysterics.

Without warning, FIL stood up, snatched for the microphone, and decided he was going to do a speech too.

It was an awful droning diatribe that was all about him, killing the mood stone dead. My dad was very gracious about it, only casting me a glance of "what the fuck is he doing?".

The speech ended to the sound of deafening silence from the gathered guests. FIL looked very pleased with himself. Twat.

Not MIL, but toxic narc mother. From day 1 demanded she controlled everything wedding related, food, venue,colours the lot. The only thing i had any say on was my wedding dress ( i bought)and she told me every single day she hated it. She would wake me up at 2 in the morning stating she couldnt sleep for thinking about how it was brown( it was ivory).

Day of the wedding she arrives wearing a long white lace dress( shit you not). I was too broken down to confront her. Hubby and i left at end of the night for the hotel leaving mum and Aunties/sister to pack up the large amount of buffet food that was left. When i rang the next morning to ask when it would be good to pick up the food and the wedding cake she calmy stated" Oh i gave that all away to your brother and his kids. I didnt think you would want any!"

Been NC two years now.

They're both single. Although SIL has previously declared she will be eloping if she ever gets married.

@Sconesandgravy this is a brilliant thread. Ignore the trolls!

Some of us are far closer to friends than we are to family. I speak to my brother maybe once a year if that.

My ex MIL was a nightmare. She phoned the caterers to change the menu. My ex caved and we ended up with a menu that I didn't like so I ate nothing. I only dislike three foods and all of them were included and in a way I couldn't eat around them.

We had sent out invitations but she sent out her own version including people we hadn't invited.

She and ex FIL didn't say a word to me all day. Told the photographer to stop taking photos of my side as we had enough already (two had been taken). Went around telling everyone she looked nicer than my mum (nope). She told the caterers to cut up the wedding cake before we cut it and they did. She told everyone they had paid for the wedding. They did pay for the toasting champagne but only because they would only accept really expensive options and we said, you pay for it then after an hour and a half argument. We paid everything else. Weeks afterwards told me it would be a shame I'd look so fat in my photos and that I should have worn a wig.

I could go on. Oh and she insisted ex H phoned her every day from our honeymoon and also phoned him for two hours on our wedding night even though she'd seen him an hour before. My bouquet and perfume also went missing and my friend insists ex MIL took them from her for safekeeping.

My Mil had my mum and dad cut out of a wedding photo, so that she had one of her, FIL and DH. She didn't get any done of just them because she was late. The worst part was DH did not see why this was a problem.

Asked my now DH to drive them to the venue to pay save them getting a taxi. After all, as the groom, he had nothing better to do on the morning of his wedding!

Got into the room where we were having the reception whilst we were off doing photos, moaned about the table plan and then tried to move the place settings so they could sit where they wanted, not thinking the meals were allocated to the original places. Fortunately, the venue caught them and put them back before we returned...

My mum couldn't manage a nice word about me at mine.

My sister and her DH came over to England from Japan for my very small registry office wedding. Unfortunately she also invited several of her Japanese students and a friend who were in my city at the time. She had to run around disinviting them when I put my foot down.