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Original poster

To ask you to share CF in law stories from your weddings?

685 replies

Sconesandgravy · 26/04/2023 08:30

Please share your CF in law stories from your weddings. I need to know it's not just me that has one.

I got married on Saturday. We had a micro wedding for multiple reasons. Our daughter, our closest friend each and their partner, and our parents or in my case parental. No siblings or other family.

My Mother in Law is weirdly emeshed with DH's two older siblings and can't cope if they aren't included in everything.

As we were cutting the cake, and having our moment, She shouts out "Make sure you save a piece for BIL, SIL and grandad!" After we'd served everyone she hacked off a huge messy chunk for them, rather than take the finger slices we'd been cutting rendering the rest of the top tier unusable.

It sounds childish but out of all the "petty" moments of the day this one stuck out the most. I think it's because she "stole" my moment.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it in years to come, but it's been four days and amongst the nastier things she did I am beyond angry. So I'm using MN as a form of catharsis, in the hopes that other people have nightmare in laws 😁

OP posts:
Shirls2 · 27/04/2023 12:01

Charlottewebsbabies · 27/04/2023 11:44

It was her way,or she'd ruin the whole day

Honest to God it was sheer spite the whole time

She's always done it-i remember giving birth to her first grandchild

She moaned because I gave birth just after 11pm

She goes to bed at 8:30

I didn't allow her to be at the birth

She ordered a takeaway to keep herself awake-she tried to charge me £10 (26 years ago) for it

She threw the tantrum from hell because we A-didnt ring her the second the head crowned
B-we had ten minutes as a family first
C-she claimed we rang everyone else first-she should have been the first to know
(She was the first)
D-i put baby in an outfit I bought as the first-i should have put bubs in the outfit she'd bought-which I didn't clap eyes on until the next day
E-she chose the most awful,tatty rag as bubs coming home from the hospital outfit-another fit as I put my own outfit on her and chucked the rag-i wouldn't have mopped the floor with hers-it was threadbare and full of holes

I'm nc with her

Show quote history

I’m not surprised you are NC…

How dare you not hold your baby in when they crowned - from 11pm until your MIL woke up the next morning to see them being born!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/04/2023 12:13

viques · 27/04/2023 11:11

I have read through this thread, and OMG do I now want a slice of wedding cake, fruit cake please, with marzipan and royal icing, my favourite. So if anyone out there is hoarding a top layer they have pinched from a recent wedding please let me know.

I don’t have any hidden or stolen fruit cake, @viques - but if you pop round over Christmas, you are welcome to a slice of my boozy Christmas cake - with home made marzipan and plenty of icing.

ZebraLyghts · 27/04/2023 12:27

My FIL brought my DH to the venue, he's one of those men that faff and take ages to get their shoes on etc. DH had told him he mustn't be late, but of course he was super late!

BIL brought a fancy camera but only took photos of his female cousins all day. Oh and one of those cousins purposely walked on the train of my dress at one point while I was talking to someone, as she couldn't be bothered to go around me!

GnomeDePlume · 27/04/2023 12:33

I don't understand these people who want to get so involved in organising (then messing up) someone else's wedding. DC is getting married next year. I have happily handed over my cash contribution to the wedding. No way do I want to get involved in booking cars/food/photographers!

DH and I will wear what we are told to wear. We will happily assist with anything we are asked to assist with and otherwise keep our beaks out.

Are we missing something? Covid prevented us interfering with other DD's wedding. Is this our chance to start insisting?

Cherrysoup · 27/04/2023 12:33

It was my own dm who was, imo, a cf. She decided that she wanted to invite my sil's parents. She was impressed with their money. I'd only met them at my brother's wedding the year before so didn't want to invite them, they were virtual strangers. She then rearranged my seating plan to have them closer to the top table, thereby displacing my favourite 'uncle'. Made me cry the night before my wedding.

viques · 27/04/2023 12:36

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/04/2023 12:13

I don’t have any hidden or stolen fruit cake, @viques - but if you pop round over Christmas, you are welcome to a slice of my boozy Christmas cake - with home made marzipan and plenty of icing.

Show quote history

Book my seat please! I will bring you a slice of my Christmas cake and we can compare tasting notes while raising our eyebrows and laughing at the fools who don’t like marzipan.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/04/2023 12:40

GnomeDePlume · 27/04/2023 12:33

I don't understand these people who want to get so involved in organising (then messing up) someone else's wedding. DC is getting married next year. I have happily handed over my cash contribution to the wedding. No way do I want to get involved in booking cars/food/photographers!

DH and I will wear what we are told to wear. We will happily assist with anything we are asked to assist with and otherwise keep our beaks out.

Are we missing something? Covid prevented us interfering with other DD's wedding. Is this our chance to start insisting?

My mum felt exactly the same way, @GnomeDePlume. We got married in the village where my future MIL lived - because it was far more convenient for the majority of the guests - and because that was a long way from where my parents lived, it meant my mum couldn’t really be very involved in the planning. When I apologised to her for this, she told me not to worry - she thought it was perfect that way - she didn’t have any of the stress coming up to the day, and she could enjoy my wedding without worrying about any snags.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/04/2023 12:41

viques · 27/04/2023 12:36

Book my seat please! I will bring you a slice of my Christmas cake and we can compare tasting notes while raising our eyebrows and laughing at the fools who don’t like marzipan.

Show quote history

Hurrah - more cake!

Iltakethat · 27/04/2023 13:42

Charlottewebsbabies

Wow, your dm sounds horrific. So glad to hear you're nc with her.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 27/04/2023 13:48

bugbugMNthx · 27/04/2023 03:44

Translation help please!

CF?

DC?

Thank you

Cheeky fucker, dear child or dear children

bugbugMNthx · 27/04/2023 14:23

AngryBirdsNoMore · 27/04/2023 13:48

Cheeky fucker, dear child or dear children

Show quote history

Thanks!

gabsdot · 27/04/2023 14:51

I was at wedding where the family of the groom behaved pretty badly.
My husband was the officiant and we were good friends with the bride and groom having known the groom since he was a child and the bride for several years. Groom Nigerian, but has lived in Uk since childhood, Bride English.
The wedding was a typical English wedding with a few nods to the grooms Nigerian Culture, some Nigerian food, music, couple of other traditons. The B&G were very happy with the day and planned the day together.

I know the grooms mother but not any of his other family.
Some of this uncles and aunties came to the church but not to the reception and some different people came to the reception and not to the church.
In the evening I innocently asked the Grooms mother if she was having a nice day.
She was Not!!
She was very unhappy that the wedding wasn't more Nigerian. It should have been half and half. At weddings in Nigeria the 2 mothers will organise everything and wear the same dress. The bride didn't wear some special beads that she had brought for her. And worse of all the rest of the family had been so offended with how un-nigerian the wedding was that they had left early and told her why. They said it was a sign to come that her son was not the man of his house . These were Nigerian people who lived in England. Some of them had lived in England for years.
I thought it was an awful cheek. To come to a beautiful event and to criticise it like that.
I never told the B&G what she had said but I'm guessing she told her son.

DisforDarkChocolate · 27/04/2023 15:30

I'm with you @GnomeDePlume . It's not long since my son married and we just handed over some cash, checked my outfit didn't look like the bridesmaid's and helped with our granddaughter.

DilemmaADay · 27/04/2023 15:33

Which was bad enough but then my FIL and MIL made sure that my DH was 45 mins late to the registry office and we nearly lost our space as he was so late. I was stood twiddling my thumbs for half an hour wondering if he was actually coming or not 🤬
@Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily

Surely as a fully grown adult man, your DH is responsible for his own time keeping, and being 45 minutes late to his own wedding is his responsibility?

applebee33 · 27/04/2023 15:44

My mil ans her friend stole all our chocolate favours from the guests tables before they came in for the meal. Handbags were full with artisan individual chocolates . She thought there was no harm in it !

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 27/04/2023 15:48

Did you restrain yourself, or tell them to put them all back, @applebee33?

AngryBirdsNoMore · 27/04/2023 16:27

DilemmaADay · 27/04/2023 15:33

Which was bad enough but then my FIL and MIL made sure that my DH was 45 mins late to the registry office and we nearly lost our space as he was so late. I was stood twiddling my thumbs for half an hour wondering if he was actually coming or not 🤬
@Mynotsoperfectlittlefamily

Surely as a fully grown adult man, your DH is responsible for his own time keeping, and being 45 minutes late to his own wedding is his responsibility?

Can you really not imagine any ways in which they could have got in the way here? Like for example that they were giving him a lift?

People on this thread have been bizarrely quick to defend some really CFs.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/04/2023 16:27

Brieandme · 26/04/2023 22:10

Not my wedding, but a good friend. Gay wedding, mother of one of the grooms is very religious - evangelical, had taken many years for said groom to come out of the closet, and many more years before he dared to introduce a partner to his mum (he'd actually tried to stay single to appease his family for a long time)

However she eventually accepted his fiance & came to the wedding, fine. She told him & everyone else who would listen how generous she would be in her contributions to the wedding, despite her struggles with him marrying a man, of course she never gave them a penny. Worse though, at the actual wedding, we had to intervene as we realised that while mingling, she was cheerily asking for people to pray for her son because he was going to go to hell, and how big a sacrifice it was for her to be there and see him going through with it, and what a wonderful mother that made her! This included to other gay wedding guests (she probably didn't realise they were gay, not that that makes it any better) She had even brought with her pamphlets etc from her church and was trying to encourage people to join.

He & his guests had the patience of saints.

This is the worst one on the thread by a country mile. What an appalling thing to do.

ReadersD1gest · 27/04/2023 16:41

AngryBirdsNoMore · 27/04/2023 16:27

Can you really not imagine any ways in which they could have got in the way here? Like for example that they were giving him a lift?

People on this thread have been bizarrely quick to defend some really CFs.

Show quote history

It's not bizarre to think a grown man could hardly have been held hostage by his parents.

Hulashaker · 27/04/2023 17:53

On my wedding day I had bought button holes for those who wanted out of my family and siblings and his. Only MIL from his side wanted one. I explained to ALL who asked, my family included, where the button holes would be and how they could collect them. During our wedding breakfast MIL complained to DH that my mother and sister had them she hadn't been given hers. She expected me to go and collect it, then find her to personally give it to her on my wedding day Hmm

SimpsonEJ · 27/04/2023 18:17

OP doesn’t need to justify why she invited who she did or why she was upset by what her MIL did. MN has turned into some kind of judge and jury as to whether people are entitled to their feelings or not and it’s ugly.

Chumbawomble · 27/04/2023 18:20

DH really didn't want a big wedding so we chose an overseas all-inclusive package with no one coming. MIL demanded to come but we pushed back and had a wonderful time. My family were fine about it - just happy for us. Six years later with two DCs, MIL brings DH loads of photos of ex-GF (ex over 15 years before) as she thought he would like them?! He put them in the bin. MIL has never said anything nice to me or about me but I'm kind of immune now.

Alcemeg · 27/04/2023 18:22

My MIL said "A lot of make-up really suits you" 😂

pollymere · 27/04/2023 18:39

We only had 20 for our main reception due to size of venue (we had a mahoosive invite who you like thing in the evening). Mine invited their friends and actually gave them an invite to the main reception (possibly theirs!). We barely knew these friends and it took ages to explain they would have to uninvite them. My MIL dressed my older teen SIL in a long white dress, could have been a wedding dress, because I didn't have her as a bridesmaid. I would've done but she didn't want to be being half a foot taller than my other bridesmaids.

EXMILfromhell · 27/04/2023 18:39

N/C for this as could be outing. My MIL to be decide to contact my Husband to be Commanding Officer to ask him to stop the wedding, her reason for this was that if her son got married he would have less money to give her. The C.O explained he didn't have the power to stop a wedding, she then asked him to cancel her son's leave so the wedding couldn't go ahead. My Mother sent her an invite with a covering letter saying the wedding would be going ahead with or without her there but if she did turn up she better not put a foot out of place. She arrived in my hometown for the wedding and promptly told her Son she had no money to get home or to buy a dress to wear. In the end she borrowed £200 from us, which was a hell of a lot of money in the mid 80s. We never saw a penny of it again. At the reception she gave the bar staff £10 to buy a round of drinks for the guest that were to be served after the cutting of the cake. There was 120 guests and my Dad had to make up the short fall. So glad she is my ex MIL