To ask you to share CF in law stories from your weddings?

[Sconesandgravy]

Please share your CF in law stories from your weddings. I need to know it's not just me that has one.

I got married on Saturday. We had a micro wedding for multiple reasons. Our daughter, our closest friend each and their partner, and our parents or in my case parental. No siblings or other family.

My Mother in Law is weirdly emeshed with DH's two older siblings and can't cope if they aren't included in everything.

As we were cutting the cake, and having our moment, She shouts out "Make sure you save a piece for BIL, SIL and grandad!" After we'd served everyone she hacked off a huge messy chunk for them, rather than take the finger slices we'd been cutting rendering the rest of the top tier unusable.

It sounds childish but out of all the "petty" moments of the day this one stuck out the most. I think it's because she "stole" my moment.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it in years to come, but it's been four days and amongst the nastier things she did I am beyond angry. So I'm using MN as a form of catharsis, in the hopes that other people have nightmare in laws 😁

Oh I see it all the time whenever I go to a wedding. People lining up to get their professional pics done on the bride & groom's dime. I knew it would happen at mine too which was why I allocated time at the reception for people to get a cheeky snap in without it interfering with the rest of the evening (I even had the photographer bring his little backdrop and paid extra for it).

I just didn't expect MIL to throw a tantrum when she couldn't go off into the flower garden to get her own private session done.

Mind you she did turn up to the wedding in a see through dress so I should've prepared myself for more crazy.

@BlueMongoose I've gone no contact after everything. Because she goes out of her way to ruin everything. SIL tried to ruin my relationship during COVID by telling DH he was a victim of coercive control. She agreed. All because we were looking for houses out of her area. I said some choice words to SIL and MIL branded me a trouble maker and denied SIL had said anything wrong because she was "not raised to be a trouble maker"

She ruined our engagement and moving in together. When DH proposed she said she couldn't be happy because I was so mean to SIL and wouldn't apologise.

She ruined us moving in together by just CONSTANTLY calling DH and demanding he "make" me apologise to SIL. And then accusing me of being controlling when he said that SIL needs to apologise and he won't make me do anything because I'm not his possession.

After we went very low contact, she improved. But apparently it's because she knows that I don't succumb to her manipulation techniques so she doesn't try.

Things had been calm for a couple of years so we invited her to the wedding. We should have known it would bring the worst of her behaviour out because I was in a position where I couldn't necessarily pay as much attention to her 😬

Ex MIL insisted on a cake. We said no thanks, MIL insisted. No thanks, not required but thanks.

She insisted on coming along to the dress shopping, and then derailed the group into another boutique after to look for something for her, which turned out to cost an absolute fortune in comprison to the dress I'd chosen. It was a beutiful white dress.

Hogged the hair and make up, so everyone else was really rushed including me, this seems to be a theme. And then at the reception, what should be there but... a wedding cake, which she then loudly and forcefully insist we stand up and cut, which was the main reason I didn't want one.

Barged into my room as I was getting my dress on and said, there's no way you're going to fit into that, we are going to have to to drive you into town quickly and pick you up something to wear from Debenhams.

She was seated next to me and spent most of the reception sitting there with a face like a slapped arse staring straight ahead and then proceeded to fill her large handbag with food that she had helped herself to and elaborately wrapped in napkin parcels on the table before stowing them away for who knows, a midnight feast?

She also insisted on inviting some long lost cousins from their side, who turned up looking like a bag of rags and refused to speak to anyone and brought along their adult children as unannounced extras, all completely empty handed, not a card or a word or good wish from any of them.

The day after MIL and FIL left the hotel where everyone was staying without saying goodbye to anyone leaving a massive tab on their room unpaid that we footed.

Got in touch after we sent her the photos and complained that there weren't enough of her and we would all have to get dressed in our wedding outfits and go back to the venue for a re-do so she could get the shots of her that she wanted.

You couldn't make it up.

@ReadersD1gest No no I'm not moaning about my wedding. Just my MIL. The day would have been absolutely perfect if she wasn't there 😁

My SiL was annoyed that I hadn't asked her 2 daughters to be bridesmaids, so she dressed in bridesmaid's dresses and stood them in the front of every photo.

This is why we never told anyone with our first. My older sister would have been at the hospital or constantly ringing maternity for an update if I didn't answer. When I had my second child I left my son with my younger sister. It was easy to keep secret though. I went in at 2 and she was born at 6. But my older sister went round just to make sure she was being properly looked after. Even though my younger sister had two young kids of her own.😂😂😂

Yes, I thought exactly the same.

Oh another one.

My older sister, who is by no means poor, chipped in to one of my other sister's gifts with a whopping £2.49.

Yep. Two pounds and forty nine pence.

I gave her a kitchen aid for her wedding!

Cheeky beast.

She's only gotten cards off of me since and can't understand why.

I know mum's are biased but she was a very lovely baby and MIL looked in the cot and her first words were, "What a shame" followed by "never ask me to babysit."

Fucking hell - I'd have cut the bitch off there and then for that comment alone.

Why do people accommodate these nasty, spiteful CF's? My IL's are far from perfect but they behaved impeccably at our wedding - because they are decent people. Those slating the OP for not including their siblings - do you not understand that everyone doesn't want a big wedding and that some people are closer to their friends than their siblings? My dsis had a wedding with only ours and the grooms parents present and two friends who acted as witnesses, I would've loved to be there but understood the reasons why she didn't invite the immediate family (as well as finances not being great there were issues with her and her dh's children). Everyone understood this and was nothing but happy for them.

The shouting out about the cake and then hacking away at it without asking is just pure cheeky fuckery - no excuses - and anyone defending the MIL is either being deliberately goady or is a CF themselves and it's the kind of thing they would do so see no issue with it.

You're assuming the groom just went along with the choice of food and had no say?
Or perhaps he preferred the menu that he helped choose.

My MIL was a bit of a witch and didn't want her son to get married. She thought I was stealing her boy from her.

We had a limo booked to collect the bridesmaids from her house but hadn't organised a special car for PIL (not really my responsibility), so MIL arranged for our limo to go back and collect them, at our cost.

After main photos, just as we were due to go in and head up the receiving Line to greet guests going in to the reception, she got the photographer to grab me and DH and take some extra photos with his great aunt, so we missed out on greeting guests.

As we were about to do the first dance, it was realised we'd forgotten to tell the DJ what song to play. She quickly told him a song, but it was one that we already had featured in our wedding video, so it mucked that up.

She didn't smile in any photos.

Oh, and she turned up wearing a white dress to the wedding.

My DHs sister insisted in buying something off the list as she could get it cheaper "from a friend". I wasn't happy about this as it was coordinating kitchen stuff and I wanted it all to be from the same range. Out of politeness and not wanting to look grabby I agreed and we went along to her friend who worked in a department store. We were supposed to be looking for a blender, food processer and food mixer (in stainless steel, which had just come in). Dsil very loudly started telling friend she wanted cheapest things possible and didn't care if they matched. The friend looked embarrassed on my part and said he'd throw in a stainless steel tray (he knew I wanted SS appliances, but she bought white plastic). I thought that was very kind and thanked him for his generosity, then DSIL loudly shouted that she'd be taking the free tray as she was paying. For some reason I was mortified but she didn't seem to care. This was just the beginning of her antics.

Clearly none of his family preferred that food though.

Usually people do try to cater for their guests.

Did she buy you all three items?

Mine are my own mother who insisted

-she was the 2nd most important person at our wedding
-that she came in the car to the venue with my dad and I
-everyone had to have a scratch card as a favour. Really went with the theme 😒
-spent a heat trying to find the perfect outfit, trawled half the country looking for one and called me several times a week bemoaning they lack of outfits whilst never once asking me how planning was going etc
-insisted we had a fruit cake (neither of us liked it)

Man she was a nightmare

I'm a firm believer of 'your wedding is your day, no one else's' so I don't even think that's selfish. It's one of the most important days of your lives and you should be free to celebrate it exactly how you wish. There's something about weddings and births that bring all the entitled family members out of the woodwork though! I'm on to my second marriage and have to say, (this time, last time I had 2 overbearing mothers to deal with) we did things how we wanted and it was amazing. Congratulations OP

Good idea planning ahead! I found it easier to plan for potential issues in the run up too to save getting irritated about stuff on the day or rather after it. Eg We knew many in my family would sit wherever they pleased instead of sticking to the seating plan which would have caused so many issues and course choice cock ups for catering so I got my stern mum to phone every person I thought would and casually mention it.

We opted for a documentary style photographer who was quite vocal in our first meeting about the “80s style extended family portraits” (not my words!) and those comedy ones not being her thing. We actually loved how opinionated she was as we thought this would mean she’d tell any CF where to go if they had posed photoshoot ideas. Some photographers are bossy. I personally like it when they politely tell the annoying uncle who thinks he’s a photographer that it’s causing the group to look in different directions and therefore ruining a photo.

So a tip here for any brides to be reading this! Read this thread and act in advance to minimise cheeky fuckery.

I didn't fuck my cousin's wedding, but I did make a bit of a mistake with the present. There was an online list at John Lewis, so I bought her a set of plates.

At the reception, my uncle cornered me and asked if I'd been having a joke.

Yup, somehow, I'd bought a single plate!

😂😂 As much as I had a lovely day, OP you’ve convinced me that I’ll be eloping should we ever choose to renew our vows anyway! This thread is my justification.

This is why I’m eloping.

I don't blame you. I wish we'd stuck to our original plans with just our friends, because even though it wouldn't be eloping.. it would not have involved MIL 😂

Not inviting siblings and grandparents is pretty bad

I'm guessing you haven't read the whole thread?

My MIL barely looked at me all day and only directly addressed me once to say 'now you're Mrs.... you can start following my rules'. This was practically spat in my face and my friend who was with me told her that maybe now I would be making my own rules and steered me away! She spent the rest of the day treading on the back of my dress 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm sorry your MIL let herself down so badly but nothing we can do or say will change them. I'm about to become a MIL myself and I have a wonderful relationship with my DIL and I feel like that's the best revenge!

I'm glad you have a wonderful relationship with your DIL. I hope to be the same when my daughter is old enough to have a partner.

Funnily enough my MIL glared at me and said "I have a lot to live up to" as the second Mrs [surname]." I'd rather not live up to her reputation to be honest