To ask you to share CF in law stories from your weddings?

[Sconesandgravy]

Please share your CF in law stories from your weddings. I need to know it's not just me that has one.

I got married on Saturday. We had a micro wedding for multiple reasons. Our daughter, our closest friend each and their partner, and our parents or in my case parental. No siblings or other family.

My Mother in Law is weirdly emeshed with DH's two older siblings and can't cope if they aren't included in everything.

As we were cutting the cake, and having our moment, She shouts out "Make sure you save a piece for BIL, SIL and grandad!" After we'd served everyone she hacked off a huge messy chunk for them, rather than take the finger slices we'd been cutting rendering the rest of the top tier unusable.

It sounds childish but out of all the "petty" moments of the day this one stuck out the most. I think it's because she "stole" my moment.

I'm sure I'll laugh about it in years to come, but it's been four days and amongst the nastier things she did I am beyond angry. So I'm using MN as a form of catharsis, in the hopes that other people have nightmare in laws 😁

Oh no that's so annoying! Not sure what it is about our parents and grandparents generations making such a fuss over over weddings needing to be done a certain way, I don't know a single friend who hasn't had a problem with their parents or in-laws when it comes to their weddings!

For me, my MIL & FIL left our wedding in a huff immediately after the wedding breakfast as they had had an argument with someone (the argument wasn't with us)

Thats so pathetic of your MIL! You should definitely bring it up with her and hold her accountable.

My story isn't really a CF one as such, but my MIL has never warmed to me and even on our wedding day upon seeing me in my dress, not once did she tell me I looked nice/give me any positive words, NOTHING. She didn't congratulate us after the ceremony. She took loads of pics at the wedding, of which I'm in NONE OF THEM! Grrrr!

I didn't have an issue with my in laws at our wedding. I also think you were perhaps a bit naive to think that it wouldn't cause issues by not inviting your husbands siblings.

She sounds annoying but I do think it's weird that you invited friends' partners but not the groom's actual siblings.

(Unless there's some huge back story and the siblings are raging arseholes, obviously. In which case I'd have gaily said to MIL "nope, they're not getting any!")

Not wedding related but I’ll never get over the midwife coming into my room mid labour to tell me my mil was here….apparently she was “just passing”.

I was abit surprised too by op not invited her DH siblings unless it is literally a wedding of her, DH and their parents no one else. No in-law story as got good ones I'm afraid here too. However love a CF thread so watching with interest.

My MIL was very put out that our wedding in England was so English. She very loudly clinked her glass half way through the meal. Apparently where she’s from it means the bride and groom have to kiss. She looked so smug that she was introducing something to do ‘her way’

I felt very smug back when the head waiter came over and told her quite strictly that it wasn’t time for speeches so stop making that noise

Hope you told her where to go!!

My MIL turned up at our house the morning of the wedding with her 3 sisters to get their hair and make up done too.....no prior warning....just decided they wanted it done and we should be able to just fit them in!

Pretty awful not to invite close family but some friends made the cut. In a few years time you may not speak to them life gets in the way friends diverge but a grandpa would have died happier with memories of his grandsons wedding.

I think she wasn't cheeky to say to save the cake. I think you should have planned cake for family who should have been there and not just a "finger slice". Plus she didn't ruin your moment. You are oversensitive.

My MIL invited 6 random guests out of 25 to our wedding abroad. They weren't close family. She said she'd pay I think it cost me £600 which was a lot then. She didn't pay. They didn't give a gift either. She also asked us to get A wedding video which cost £400 for dh ill grandmother who couldn't have come even if we had been in the uk. So we did but she didn't give us the money when she offered to pay. We didn't chase it up. She probably would have if reminded.

I didn't mind though, the extra guests made it more of a party and I don't watch the video but we might be glad of it if we find it one day and can convert it to a watchable file. I think its a cd.

My MIL repeatedly phoned the maternity ward whilst I was in labour. DH had told her he would call her when baby was born but she was annoyed that he wouldn't answer his phone (back in the days when hospitals had a strict phones off policy) and couldn't believe it was taking so long. The midwife seemed quite apologetic when she told us MIL kept calling and asked if we had a message for her. DH told her afterwards that it was out of order but she maintained it was OK because she used to work in a hospital (wtf)

This is very revealing but my MIL did cry on our wedding day and told my husband it wasn't too late to call off the wedding (it's all caught on our wedding video as well). I laugh about it now but it was hurtful at the time.

My FIL is generally great and I get on well with him.

Wow you win!!

We had a dc in the September.. Mil never bothered at all. We moved away (45 mins drive) April having not seen her since 2nd January (no contact over Xmas at her choice). Dh took fil to get fitted for wedding outfits. That week mil rang the shop to try change the colour (kilts)!! Dh went round and uninvited her. She wasn't really part of our lives and I would have felt awkward having her there having not seen her for 6 months!
She put the water works on. Dh stood firm.. In petty revenge she ruined our honeymoon..
Been 8 years nc now. Sadly fil took her side.

I certainly did!!

She had also booked a week off work to “help” when ExH went back to work..which was fine. I wasn’t expecting her to turn up with a suitcase planning to stay for the week when she only lives 10 minutes away!

She was turned away then too and wasn’t even any help when she was here during the day!!

The hacking at the cake is awful but then I think it’s pretty awful to invite a mate to your wedding but not a grandparent.
my parents would be utterly devastated to not be invited to my child’s wedding (though it is likely they won’t live to see it) so I can see why your MIL was not happy.

PIL didn’t say a word to me or my parents all day.

DH has 3 brothers, all ushers. We had a lot of babies and small children at our wedding and not one of them had the brain cells to ask people to take their babies out if they were crying/noisy. As a result you can’t hear our vows on the wedding video for all the screaming kids. 😡

He bought a fancy camera and asked one brother to take candid shots through the day. He only took pictures of DH’s family. Not a single one of mine. 🤦🏻‍♀️

We gave menu choices to guests. DH’s grandparents ordered chicken, then when it arrived sent it back because “grandad never eats chicken due to growing up on a chicken farm”. 🤷🏻‍♀️

PIL came and collected DH the morning after to take him to visit a family member who was invited but declined to come to the wedding.

I never considered our marriage to be the joining of the 2 families but these completely sealed that. They live hundreds of miles away so it’s very easy for me to have little to do with them and for DH to manage the relationship as he sees fit.

Is it “weirdly enmeshed” to think siblings should be invited to the wedding?
I think you created issues for yourself.

I also don’t see how you can cut a cake in any way that renders the rest of the cake unusable. That just doesn’t make any sense.

My DH was once best man at a friend's wedding. so he was seated on the top table and I was on another table with our DC and some other friends with similar aged DC. The groom's mother decided this was not right and tried to move DH's chair and place setting etc to my table (despite me assuring her that I was perfectly comfortable sitting with friends). She also told the wedding disco that he would have to end things at 8.30pm because the B&G had children so couldn't be out late (they'd actually arranged for their DC to stay over with a friend but she didn't like that either).

"DH has 3 brothers, all ushers. We had a lot of babies and small children at our wedding and not one of them had the brain cells to ask people to take their babies out if they were crying/noisy. As a result you can’t hear our vows on the wedding video for all the screaming kids. 😡"

Surely the parents of the screaming kids are responsible for this not the brothers?

As for the OP, why on earth didn't you invite close family? His grandad wasn't there but your mates were?

My mum's is really bad, and tbh there's a massive backstory through the years.

Anyways, while mum and dad were on their honeymoon her SIL and MIL took their wedding money and went to a big city on a shopping spree.

Not our wedding and not my MIL but DSIL and DB's wedding. Myself and my DH are neurodivergent, (myself undiagnosed at the time) . I promise we have table manners. We even had them at our top table a few years before 😆. At their wedding, they put us as the only adults ( granted with our two DC) with all the other children at a big table and no other adults . Yup ,they did indeed. We felt really special. DSIL said she felt we could "relax" with the children. It was actually really stressful and upsetting as it seemed a lot of people were wondering why we were the only adults at this table. Our relationship hasn't really been the same since tbh.

My PIL didn’t come to our wedding ! They were invited but decided they had to open their cafe rather than bother to attend !! They never apologised or even mentioned it in 33 years . I must admit I always struggled to forget or forgive . They didn’t say they would not attend they just didn’t show up

Not my wedding. The brother of my first long term, live in boyfriend was getting married. I was very close to his family, involved in loads of family occasions.

The brother’s fiancés family paid for the wedding and reception. Mid summer wedding, beautiful cold buffet, salmon , fresh strawberries etc.

Grooms family outraged that it was not a hot meal. Also they are of a culture which features spicy food.

They ambushed the Reception. Numerous relatives had turned up with big pots of hot food, put it in the venue before the service, and then Ta Daaaa! Just as everyone sat down for the meal they opened the serving hatch and invited a queue. All ‘their’ side and half the others rushed over, abandoning plates of beautifully poached salmon.

The bride’s family’s jaws hit the deck in unison.