To think 11 is not too young to travel on a train alone?

[Tellmeifimwrong]

Please settle a debate! Happy to hear all opinions.

Is 11 years old, starting y7 in Sept, too young to take a one hour train journey, without parents but with a slightly younger child? Put on at one end by an adult and met at the other end by an adult, with a phone and data, and train staff informed? No behavioural problems or SEN.

Why are you directing that comment to me? I haven't said anything about them being a nuisance.

@WomblingTree86 The school have set up this arrangement where older boys and girls receive extra credit for supervising and teacher generally present from the furthest stop too because they want to ensure child safety and limit problems. The school bus collects from station, again supervised.

So nope, not deluded at all.

Being on public transport with classmates under school supervision with me at one end and school bus at other… I hardly think they are going to be lighting up a spliff and getting stuck into spirits in that scenario. If they muck about on the train they get detention.

Me saying run along to the park of a Saturday and I’ll see you in 3-4hrs on the other hand… plenty of time for a drink, a shag and a spliff there.

@Dixiechickonhols Which is why I will be driving DC to where they need to be to ensure that that is actually where they are going 😊 Won’t miss out on anything.

Am in agreement with you Reugny.

The ringleader of the group saying abusive things to my son and security was wearing a £280.00 body warmer, top of the line trainers and well spoken (accent).

I held my tongue because I knew if I told him what a little shit he was, I’d have to deal with the mother who’d be all “my Julian was out here minding his own business with his pals at the cinema and would never do xyz”

But he was, because he had been given the freedom to do so.

I presume your children have special needs then as this is not normal at secondary school age. I don't really think what you will and won't do is therefore very relevant to the OP or the general point of when children can go on trains or out by themselves.

This is a normal secondary age school not special needs. I went there myself. Hasn’t changed. As far as I know a number of others do it too. It’s a Grammar so not sure if there would be different behaviour standards due to this. But they don’t want the kids misbehaving in public wearing uniform as reflects badly on the school.

One of my DC is ND yes and requires different boundaries to NT. But that is immaterial, the opinions I have put forward are for NT children; I wouldn’t put an 11yo child on a long train journey alone and expect them to be responsible for a 10yo. I just wouldn’t.

Yes, it's a thing. Nothing to do with special needs, as has been so charmingly suggested...

So they have teachers on all the public transport that children go on to school? That sounds very unlikely particularly if it's a grammar school and presumably children are coming from all different areas.

Oh Christ @WomblingTree86

Do you want a bloody address???

There are two main train lines heading towards the school. The parents tend to buy houses along these as do some of the staff. Comprende? It isn’t an issue for staff/other more senior pupils to be present and monitor during the time period when pupils are going to be travelling.

The same with bus routes, the school has its own buses and runs routes in the local area.

Staff are also stationed at the main bus stops near the school in the morning for the remaining children.

My children are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I know their faults. I'm not blinded to that. And I know where they draw the line and where they try and take advantage. Because we have an honest relationship and they're not afraid of me, they do tell me when they have fucked up. Even if it paints them in a bad light. And even if it's disappointing.

Ganging up and calling SEN children names is not something they would do. Im surprised you don't know that about your children. Is ganging up on other children with disabilities something you would expect your children to do?

Kids generally rebel when they're under that level of supervision. It isn't pretty. I went through it myself. Moved out at 16. I wouldn't do it to my kids. Better to have trust, honesty, independence and room to make mistakes. Rather than a cloying over protective stifling household.

It’s amazing you have that opinion.

I have a bunch of cousins whose mother was like that - they all have fantastic careers with excellent salaries now and never got into any shit while teens. Well done to the conscientious mother and her successful children 👏

But they are missing out on part of the trip with their friends. How does it work if they are going to activity and then for a milkshake/food a short walk away.
I’m not talking about hanging around aimlessly but a few of us are going shopping to nearby town on train and will have lunch at Wagamama/Nando’s type plans which are quite normal in school hols for a 15 yr old.
Some of DCs peers at 16/17 weren’t allowed to get train (hour) to nearby Xmas markets in daytime for example.

@Dixiechickonhols Already said I’d be fine with a 16yo taking train.

I would drive the 15yo to and from - and offer to give friends a lift saving them train fare.

No problem with food/entertainment in close proximity to each other.

I think it’s fine. My two are a year apart at at 11 I would have had no qualms with them going on the train together especially as there are adults both ends.

It's not that an amazing opinion. Common sense really. But then I do work with teenagers / young adults, so I guess I see this stuff a lot.
But let's hope it works out for you then, just like it did for your cousins 😉

I think getting the train with their mates is part of the day 🤦🏻‍♀️

I had to travel 3hrs by train with a change, then a coach to Heathrow & get myself on a plane at 11. No mobile phone. Military child at boarding school. It was daunting but there were a lot of rail staff then & I had to ask a lot to make sure of right platform.
So 11 is fine but probably not with a younger child.

Wow!

@KatieB55 that's a mammoth ask of an 11 yo. Was nobody else from your school travelling the same way?

I have answered earlier, that I think a single long journey would be too much for an 11 year old.
If a short journey going to school, I would accompany the first few times until he or she was familiar with the journey.
What you have to answer is this... Will my DC know what to do if something goes wrong? (obviously we don't know what the 'something' could be).
A group of school children travelling each day to school will become familiar with the journey, and it is quite likely there would be others on the train, and decisions could be made at that point together; or copying what the other children do, etc
However, things go wrong all the time, from trains cancelled, diverted, alternative platforms (and then missing the train because you cannot find the platform, when the numbering system is weird, as has happened to myself on more than one occassion), railway replacement buses, etc, the wrong kind of snow/rain/sun, signalling problems, etc,
In my view a 16 year old (depending on the child), may be able to use their initiative to work out what to do, but would an 11 year old?

Absolutely too young

@Robinni -I've been involved with a lot of schools over the years and I have never seen that happen. It really isn't usual at all.

@CurlewKate may depend where in the UK you are but all I can say is that here it is quite common to have school buses/teacher supervisors/older children given credit for supervisory roles - be that on transport or within the schools.

As @milveycrohn said, if something goes wrong and there are a bunch of kids there, then there is support, older kids to copy etc. On their own I doubt that 11yo would be able to use initiative to know what to do in an emergency.

Even in an emergency situation, trains going to different platform, delay or cancellation, what is the absolute worst thing that would happen - the kids would phone mum who'd either help them navigate to the correct train - or go and collect them.

I think how happy I would be for them to do it depends on the ability for someone, any of the 4 parents, to go and get them should they get it wrong.

I mean really they aren't going to end up completely lost at the other end of the country.