Family holiday turning into a group get together

[Privacylover]

First time poster how would you deal with this. Thanks in advance. Due to go on first family holiday since before covid. Me39 wife 38 sons 12 and 10. Was really looking forward to it until wife invited MIL who has now booked flights and will be sharing apartment with us so boys have to share bedroom. Now informed friend of hers and her husband and kids I barely know are staying in next door apartment too. Any holidays we have been on we have always happily enjoyed each other's company. Am I being unreasonable to not be looking forward to it anymore.
Or am I not being unreasonable because she is inviting lots of people 🤷‍♂️

One possible solution could be to find a compromise that works for both of you, you could suggest having some dedicated family time during the holiday where it's just you, your wife, and your sons, and then also allowing for some time for your wife to spend with her mother-in-law and friends. This way, you can balance both your desires for quality family time and her desire to include others.

From the information you supplied, i had an inkling your DW was raised in a different cultural background? Is this the case?

either way english or not- it sounds terrible.

Oh shes aware its not going to be a regular thing. And to be fair it's out of character for her. Shes normally as far as I know or in my experience happiest in our own company. Not having to make small talk while on beach or sunbathing etc

She's made a grave error but I think you both already realise that!
Look, try to put your foot down about MIL coming in with you - tell her straight that you don't want her in your bedroom and that she needs to sort it out, but otherwise I think you'll have to pretty much grin and bear it.

From experience, to help you get through it, what we did when we realised that our couple holiday became an entourage of 15 people, we quietly rebooked our own room in a totally different hotel on the other side of town, said nothing and pretended that the hotel contacted us very last minute due to an overbooking and put us in their sister hotel. Such a shame.

Then we booked loads of day trips -again saying nothing. We did waterparks and scuba diving and snorkelling... it was such a shame that the ringleader gets terribly seasick and couldn't come.

We did meet up for I think about 3 evenings in all, and one day with some of the nicer ones on a boat trip so it worked out as best it could really - from then on it was an emphatic NO if anyone even hinted at joining us on holiday - I just tell them straight that my holiday time is family time and DS and DH are the only ones allowed on it. I'll take trips separately with others like a weekend away leaving them at home, but no group holidays ever. Not even if totally free. You just won't get me on a fucking plane.

I'd even clarify that it's not even going to be a thing, let along a regular thing.

You're braver than I would be at this point. I would be giving strong consideration to whether I'd want to go on this holiday.

Please make sure that you get time to do the things you want to with your kids and your wife without interference from MiL and anyone else who has piggybacked their way to going on this holiday with you.

Two weeks of misery. I’d leave it to them and not go. That’s not a holiday—it’s hell.

@Privacylover

You're a better person than I am, I think.

If this was my first proper precious holiday for quite some time (and two weeks at that!!) I'd really resent having other people foisted on me, especially at such close quarters and would pull out to my own thing whilst they did their own thing. Or maybe, if it was possible, have a week doing what I wanted, somewhere else, and joined the family half way through. 🌹

1, Maybe the kids don’t want to share a room.
2, maybe there would be a spare room for the MIL next door.
3, means OP gets the family only holiday they want

Not my idea of a holiday. The mil and friends you don’t even know should be disinvited, and bookings refunded if possible. You were not even asked what you thought.

Your wife has no sense whatsoever!

I absolutely would not go along with this.

Or instead of tidying the garage; you could book yourself on a hobby/activity holiday for 1; cycling, sailing etc.

It's obvious how that conclusion is reached, on MN the woman is never, ever in the wrong!

Hopefully MIL will be paying her way, contributing to the cost of the apartment, the food for the apartment, the cost of meals out and trips, though I wouldn't be holding my breath!

@Justalittlebitduckling
She didn't even ask his opinion in the first place. Just took it upon herself to change everything.
Go away with MY MiL, RIP. No way.
Enjoy your peaceful holiday. You'll be surprised how good it is to be on your own. Good luck 👍

How did it work out in the end?

🙄