Or are school re DD’s earrings?

[Tygertiger]

Totally prepared to be told IABU so please don’t pile on me!

DD is Y5. She had her ears pierced a few weeks ago - deliberately now, so they’ve got ages to heal before she goes to secondary school and isn’t allowed them. I took her to a professional piercer so they were done with a needle not a gun, and therefore have labret studs in (ie flat backs not butterflies). The fronts are really tiny studs, basically flat against her earlobes. They really are the smallest studs she could be wearing and as both sides are flat against her lobes, they are as minimal risk for physical activity as they could be. DD is very active and does swimming, dance and gymnastics and all her coaches are happy for her to wear them.

School aren’t letting her do PE. I can understand that (although I think it’s unnecessary, I’m not going to query it). However, they’re also not letting her do Bikeability. This is a course with external coaches for kids who are already able to ride bikes, which teaches them road safety etc. School are saying she can only do it if she takes her earrings out.

I’ve checked with the Bikeability coaches (not in a weird stalker way, they all work at the local leisure centre so I asked them while we were there) and this is not their policy - they confirmed they go into other schools and don’t insist on children removing earrings in order to take part. They’re not bothered at all. It’s the school’s own policy. DD rides her bike all the time at home with her earrings in.

So WIBU to ask school if she can do it if I sign some kind of disclaimer to say I will not hold them responsible in any way if she falls off her bike and her earring causes damage? Or do we just have to take the earrings out? She’s desperate to do the course so sitting it out won’t be an option.

are you going to be disappointed when I tell you she wore it till she was 13, and managed to retain full use of her hand and wrist despite your opinion of what we “should” have done?

She’s 27 now.

Go and have a word with yourself

I have the same style earrings... I ripped one of mine out taking my bike helmet off, it bloody hurt and I made my ear bleed. I have no idea how I did it, I have worn earrings for a long time and taken my bike helmet off 100s 1000s of times without injuring myself. Until last week, last week I would have said this was ridiculous, this week with a scabby ear not so.

Thank you for your kind words. Things did move on as my niece attended the same school 5 years later and went in with the same solution in her gym bag ans no one batted an eyelid=a rare victory for common sense!

Question asked in good faith.

Why was it so important to have your child's ears pierced in the first place?

I honestly don't understand why it's necessary at primary (and even early secondary) age.

Are there some cultural traditions I'm missing?

I'll admit to being biased on this issue and finding earrings in young children unsettling in the sense it's an unnecessary body modification that has risks, both in terms of the procedure, aftercare and further potential trauma through injury.

Put plasters over her earlobes?

There are some ridiculous posts on this thread but this one is the worst.

I'm brown so I wore earrings at school. We had to take them off for PE in both primary and secondary school.

Bikeability is a life skill

Glad to hear it!

Can I ask why your daughter doesn’t just removed them for the bike session them put them back in after? I had my ears pierced quite young so my mum helped initially but by year 5 was quite capable of taking my earrings in and out, had fancy ones for xmas, parties, etc. I would have thought she would have the necessary coordination/skills to manage her own earrings at this age, unless there’s some sort of drip feed coming about disability.

We are waiting until the school holidays for this reason. Well actually when we get back from holidays we are going at the start. Although our school allows tape but I don't like the idea of that and I'd have to do it in the morning before school she will look a bit strange.

I don't understand what damage a little stud earring can do. Especially with the more protected backings.

@Tygertiger DD had something like this when she got the top of her ear pierced (and school didn’t allow them). She was never caught out, and her school was really hot on dress rules!

https://www.crazy-factory.com/en-GB/p/Piercings/Labrets-Lip-Studs/XINLBD/Labret/1.0/6/2/FL/N/

Unfortunately if you want her to do the sports bits the earrings need to come out. Or change schools.
I know you said they are tiny studs but I managed to rip out an L bar nose stud that was tiny and went right though to the bottom of the nostril, blood everywhere!! Left a beaut of a scar! Obviously I'm one of the unlucky ones but it can happen pretty easily and it hurts like fuckery to rip a piece of metal through a piece of your skin.
Still went and got the other side done though 🤭

Why does a child need earrings?
Silly thing to do
Wait till she is a teen

Why does a child need earrings?
Silly thing to do
Wait till she is a teen

Most girls get their ears pierced eventually, so what difference does it make if they are 2, 5, 10 or 17??

If it’s silly at 6 it’s silly at 20

There's no compulsory PE at 20 😂

As a teacher, I'd say they have a blanket policy because if other parents see your daughter with earrings in, they'll kick up a stink that their child isn't allowed to wear theirs. While you've been sensible, gone to a piercer and picked out really sensible and safe earrings, the overwhelming majority still go to Claires to get theirs done and end up with big studs and the enormous butterfly backs. I know that common sense would suggest that schools could explain the difference to parents as to why you were allowed and they weren't, but you'd be amazed how much of the general public don't understand common sense!! I'd say it's the school just protecting themselves from a lot more hassle and nasty parents. Unfortunate, especially as you seem to have thought this through quite a lot, but there you go.

Why are people on Mumsnet so against getting ears pierced at Clare's Accessories? What's wrong with getting them done there? Genuine question.

It's because Claires uses a gun to pierce whereas a proper piercer will use a needle and cause less trauma

OK, thank you.

A PP asked why age is important; "if it's silly at 6 etc,"; the age matters because a younger child is less efficient with self-care, and less conscientious about carrying it out.
I could tell a few tales of sorting out the results of sketchy hygiene with younger children, but the post would be more suitable for "sporner corner".....
Your DD has probably fallen foul of a blanket rule which the school introduced after other parents chose earrings less wisely, with resulting infections or injury.
One little girl I remember ended up with a ripped earlobe which could not be fixed; pierced earring were not an option for the rest of her adult life.

Most girls do not get their ears pierced just asked my 10 year old and we can only think of one girl
In her class , I did a quick straw poll of her and two mates none of them use any plans to get ears pierced