Or are school re DD’s earrings?

[Tygertiger]

Totally prepared to be told IABU so please don’t pile on me!

DD is Y5. She had her ears pierced a few weeks ago - deliberately now, so they’ve got ages to heal before she goes to secondary school and isn’t allowed them. I took her to a professional piercer so they were done with a needle not a gun, and therefore have labret studs in (ie flat backs not butterflies). The fronts are really tiny studs, basically flat against her earlobes. They really are the smallest studs she could be wearing and as both sides are flat against her lobes, they are as minimal risk for physical activity as they could be. DD is very active and does swimming, dance and gymnastics and all her coaches are happy for her to wear them.

School aren’t letting her do PE. I can understand that (although I think it’s unnecessary, I’m not going to query it). However, they’re also not letting her do Bikeability. This is a course with external coaches for kids who are already able to ride bikes, which teaches them road safety etc. School are saying she can only do it if she takes her earrings out.

I’ve checked with the Bikeability coaches (not in a weird stalker way, they all work at the local leisure centre so I asked them while we were there) and this is not their policy - they confirmed they go into other schools and don’t insist on children removing earrings in order to take part. They’re not bothered at all. It’s the school’s own policy. DD rides her bike all the time at home with her earrings in.

So WIBU to ask school if she can do it if I sign some kind of disclaimer to say I will not hold them responsible in any way if she falls off her bike and her earring causes damage? Or do we just have to take the earrings out? She’s desperate to do the course so sitting it out won’t be an option.

Ludicrous post.

Never known it to take 18 months for pierced ears to heal.....
Me neither.
Common sense says to have them done at the start of the summer holidays and if they're still not fully healed by the autumn term, they'll be more likely than not be healed enough to be removed for an hour to do PE/bikeability/whatever else school policy says no piercings for.

Wearing jewellery isn’t a protected characteristic.

Our school have a very clear no jewellery policy inc earrings. Parents are given policy when the child starts school. The number of parents who then go and get their kids ears pierced then moan and groan about school policy when school implement it.

That’s kind of contradictory…there’s a blanket policy precisely because teachers do not have the time to check each individual pair of earrings to check if they conform the the specific one type that a parent has insisted the school allows; far too easy for mistakes to be made in a checking process and for an accident to happen. Much easier to say none at all. Without a blanket policy, it would create much more hassle! And yes, accidents with earrings are rare but they can be horrific when they happen and schools have been sued over them in the past.

I would imagine the school is reluctant even with an outside provider activity because if it happens on their property they could be partly liable. Maybe this particular school has had a bad accident in the past and want to avoid it again.

U didn’t u do it at the start of summer holidays?
U knew the school rules but decided to go against them.
Just explain to yr daughter it’s yr fault she isn’t allowed to take part as u broke the rules.

The school is on a power trip. Other countries literally dgaf (I’ve lived in 4 other countries) only the U.K.

They just want to show you who’s in charge and don’t actually care about her safety.

I went to PE with earrings in and nobody from my school ever ever got injured. So dumb

I had an earring ripped from my ear in a playground accident (sheer fluke, nobody’s fault) as a child. It was agony and it took me two years to feel brave enough to have it re pierced, which also turned out to be very painful. Therefore I totally agree with schools banning earrings altogether but especially for sporting activities when the risk would be significantly higher. Take the earrings out for the bikeability course, it’s just not worth the risk.

You’ve obviously never seen a child catch the strap of their helmet on an earring. It’s a gruesome sight, trust me. However flat the earring is, a thread could still get caught around it. Your daughter’s teachers aren’t paid enough to be responsible for holding the torn parts of her ear together while you’re called to come fetch her. Not worth the risk to your daughter’s lovely ears and not worth the stress of worry for the staff. If teachers didn’t care and something happened then you’d surely be moaning about that too.

Why would the bangle need to be cut off? Can it not just be taken off and put back on?

Get a couple of clear nose retainers. Worn in the ears these are barely visible, are held in by a tiny bulbous end on each side, and it would be very difficult indeed for them to be pulled out.

Because it was out on her as a baby, so whilst it still fitted her wrist it wouldn’t go over her hand.

It sounds like they have a blanket policy of no earrings for physical activity. The Biekability must still be on their property or some connection to them.

They aren't going to start measuring the size of earrings or getting into this style and size is a yes but this is a no. Or getting into debates with students over their earrings. They have a rule - no earrings during physical activity. Whether its a sound policy or not is something you can take up later if you want but they have told you their current position and policy and you can choose to accept it or go elsewhere.

Ah, okay. Thanks for clarifying. 😊

100% agree with this. Desperate to get into their school of choice then moan about policy.

No worries 😊

Were they aware it was a religious symbol when they asked? That must have been distressing for you.

Religious symbol?

Christening bangle

They were dismissive of it when dd said what it was (she was only 5) but were “slightly” less dismissive when I had a conversation with them and wondered out loud if they’d be as dismissive if it was a symbol of a religion other
than Christianity….it was the lack of thinking of a resolution rather than jumping straight to ‘cut it off’ that upset me!
Fortunately it was over 20 years ago now

I wondered the same TBH - where I live (USA) the doctors' offices now do infant & child ear piercing so it can be done safely. It's a cultural thing in many Latino families too. the girls all wear them to school, and the only rule is nothing dangling in PE. Studs are allowed. The UK is far far stricter on jewellery at school than many other countries.

I hope things have moved on since then. I am sorry you had to go through that.

Yeah, I know what it is, DD has one. It's still ok to be asked to remove it for safety reasons, though; hardly "distressing".

They wanted to chop it off!

Hate to break it to you, but it'll have to be chopped off eventually... it should have been taken off while it still could.
Do you imagine it'll still fit the child's wrist when she's 12?