Or are school re DD’s earrings?

[Tygertiger]

Totally prepared to be told IABU so please don’t pile on me!

DD is Y5. She had her ears pierced a few weeks ago - deliberately now, so they’ve got ages to heal before she goes to secondary school and isn’t allowed them. I took her to a professional piercer so they were done with a needle not a gun, and therefore have labret studs in (ie flat backs not butterflies). The fronts are really tiny studs, basically flat against her earlobes. They really are the smallest studs she could be wearing and as both sides are flat against her lobes, they are as minimal risk for physical activity as they could be. DD is very active and does swimming, dance and gymnastics and all her coaches are happy for her to wear them.

School aren’t letting her do PE. I can understand that (although I think it’s unnecessary, I’m not going to query it). However, they’re also not letting her do Bikeability. This is a course with external coaches for kids who are already able to ride bikes, which teaches them road safety etc. School are saying she can only do it if she takes her earrings out.

I’ve checked with the Bikeability coaches (not in a weird stalker way, they all work at the local leisure centre so I asked them while we were there) and this is not their policy - they confirmed they go into other schools and don’t insist on children removing earrings in order to take part. They’re not bothered at all. It’s the school’s own policy. DD rides her bike all the time at home with her earrings in.

So WIBU to ask school if she can do it if I sign some kind of disclaimer to say I will not hold them responsible in any way if she falls off her bike and her earring causes damage? Or do we just have to take the earrings out? She’s desperate to do the course so sitting it out won’t be an option.

Kids with pierced ears before they’re about 12 are just rough

So not at 18 and 20 - with pierced ears and you can tell they are rough because?? How do they differ to those who had theirs done at 10 or 15? Where’s the line?

Can't you just tape them for sports etc?

That's what we did in my day!

People keep talking about school policies as though they come from God. All policy means is people have decided to do things a certain way. And they can easily decide to do it another way or do it in a more nuanced way.
I think you should set this all out in writing to school - the things you have offered, what Bikeability have said, and make clear that you will not back down. It being a policy does not mean you have to take it lying down. The school are a public body (assuming it's not a private school), and therefore they have to be willing to consider the actual facts, not blindly rely on the policy. It's almost funny they are relying on H&S, bearing in mind the purpose of a bikeability course.
many schools think they can use the word policy and make all sorts of restrictions on peoples lives - it's important to stand up to this.

@Sallycantwaitnoel exactly who is a school discriminating against if they have a blanket ban on earrings? It doesn't matter if the swim school allow them to wear them in lessons as parents are there to deal with the aftermath if something goes wrong.

@Tygertiger Did I understand correctly that your child is currently sitting out of their PE lessons therefore missing part of their education for X amount of weeks because you decided to get her ears pierced? That's pretty shocking.

As for bike ability if you know the people who run it have you asked if they'll do a private 1:1 course for your DD? Or suggested to the leisure centre that they run a course in the holidays for those that miss the school run ones

@Singleandproud well a ban on earrings clearly impacts on girls/women far far more than boys/men, for, er, fairly obvious reasons.

Because the summer holidays aren't 3 months long. Which is how long DD has been advised to keep hers in before removing or changing them.

I would complain. I would also check what the Indian girls in your school do during PE/Bikeability & if anyone has complained. I’m Indian and there is no possible way I would let such a stupid policy stand without calling out discrimination because it totally discriminates against immigrant cultures if even taping isn’t allowed.

It’s not really “shocking”, but thanks for the melodrama. She’s on a swimming team outside school and swims competitively, she also does gymnastics and dancing. Oh, and she rides her bike. She’s not exactly missing out on physical exercise. And she does it all with her studs in, because the professional coaches in those activities are fine with it!

I’m not going to ask for 1:1 or whatever for Bikeability. She wants to do it in school with her friends. If school won’t allow her with earrings in, we’ll take them out. I just think it’s rather excessive, and I’ll ask again: would posters agreeing with school insist on their children removing ear studs before riding their bikes at home? If they had their ears pierced at the start of the summer holidays, would it be a six-week ban on bike riding as a result? I doubt it, because we all know it’s not actually a risk really. We’re not talking big Pat Butcher earrings here!

DD is very active and does swimming, dance and gymnastics and all her coaches are happy for her to wear them.

Hopefully not swimming for another 9+ weeks though. Fine to wear them once healed but not for the first 3 months.

Precisely this. You’ve just reminded me of when dd’s school wanted me to have her gold christening bangle cut off. It didn’t happen, she wore a “sweatband” on her wrist to cover it

It was actually one of her then baby brother’s socks with the toe cut out 😂

Don't be ridiculous. The school can't allow one child special treatment

I really don't think earrings are safe in primary school.

Have you ever seen a torn ear?

This^^

Ridiculous, but not surprising.

They will let her do it, they just won't let her do it with studs in.

Teachers haven’t got the time to be going round checking and researching the various types of earrings and their risk in PE.
Individual schools don’t make the health and safety policies themselves, the local authority sets them. As there will have been lots of incidents of earring’s causing injuries during PE (I am a TA and have seen them myself; the children will have permanent scarring), the LA will have a policy that says ‘No earrings during PE’.
Just accept that if you go to a school they have rules which pupils have to abide by.
They can’t have loads of exceptions and subheadings and different sections etc etc They just have one clear and simple rule to cover everything and, as it should, errs on the safe side.
Teachers have enough to deal with already without petty stuff like this adding to their workload.

The world has gone mad so no you can't accept responsibility for your own actions. I have multiple tattoos, piercings and purple highlights in my hair. The first tattoo I got at 16, the piercing started at about 13....not sure when I first coloured my hair maybe 11/12. I still manage to be a senior scientist in the NHS. On the other hand DS has a letter shaved into his hair and the school actually rang me at work to tell me they discourage it as it negatively impacts attainment. Parent evening oh he's doing really well, despite my rebel appearance they have asked me to go back and repeat a career day presentation again this year. I really wish it was a hey we've told you the risk sign this consent form.

Can you say you have taken them out and covered the holes with plasters? What under the plaster is known of their business.

I was a school governor for health and safety. My authority had a massive clampdown on piercings including ear piercings after several massive payouts where they were ripped out during activities in school causing injury/disfiguration. They had to be taken out for any physical activity no exceptions.

If you read my posts I’ve been clear we DIDN’T go to Claire’s? I was being disparaging about them! I’d never go there in a million years!

Nice. Well, my Dd had her ears pierced at Claire’s, and we had no problems at all.

I also had the sense to get hers pierced the day she broke up for the summer holidays. They were healed by the time she went back, and she could take them out for PE.

You knew the school rules.

I've seen an earring get ripped out in sport, it's grim.

Thing is, you know you've probably ballsed up here which is why you're on here.

This should have been done in summer holidays and then your daughter could have taken them out for this, or any other activity.

They should be OK for the short time they are out. I think these things are best left for the six week break.

Are you saying you were aware she wouldn’t be able to wear them for PE prior to getting them pierced? So knew that as she couldn’t take them out during the healing process she would be missing PE? I.e. you’ve prioritised having your child’s ears pierced over her PE lessons?

You wouldn't make them miss maths lessons why is PE OK?

I work in an LA. I can 100% tell you we do not have blanket policies for things like this. If it’s not statutory, we don’t have capacity to do it, and this isn’t statutory - and also, we only really have influence over maintained schools anyway, not academies.

Why can't the earrings be taken out on PE days out of interest? My dds always did.

this is why I would hate to be a teacher - you have to listen to parents!

I assume the rule is no ear rings for any form of PE. I certainly remember a few kids with ripped earlobes in primary school. In fairness I remember two occasions in the changing room with earrings getting caught in those airtex t shirts. She might not have to change for biking but it’s still PE and a rule is a rule. Vanity shouldn’t come before safety.