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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Out at a part last night-mean girls vibe

97 replies

Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 18:36

hi, I’m not sure if I’m being to sensitive but I’m 36 I went out with work mates last night to a colleagues birthday party.

we were all drinking having a good night dancing. Now last night I let my hair down. Unlike work we’re I have to be professional I was more my funny giggly self dancing. 2 of the women kept watching my every move taking photos of me drunk. ( I wasn’t harming any one just dancing with friends)

towards the end of the night I felt like I had reached my limit so ordered a pint of water from the bar. Drank it and carried on dancing. I went back and got some more water. When I sat down one of them said to me what are u drinking I said water. I went back dancing with my friends. And I caught one of them moving my water away. Then the other got up and went to the bar.

m she came back with a pint of alcohol (I had stuck to vodka lemonade all night) but not pints. Clearly this was in the pint glass this time. I sat at another part of the table talking with people. And one of the ladies said here’s your water! I said thanks but I could see it wasn’t water.

I got back up asked for some more water st the bar sat down, she then proceeded to say drink this first. Because I had a drink I was angry but I didn’t want to cause a scene. So I said that’s not water. She then said oh it was so and so who got you it.

I felt very betrayed like they were taking the mick out of me.

I got a lift home straight away. I just feel like it was malice in it. If I’d of drank that pint I would of been floored. Why would they do this. 2 of them are in early 20s but the one who kept trying to get me to drink it is the same age and we have worked together for years. 😔

OP posts:
Fimofriend · 23/04/2023 18:37

now you know what they are like. Keep your distance from those cows.

PollyAmour · 23/04/2023 18:39

How well do you get on with these women at work? Have you been on a night out with them before?

It sounds like they wanted to see you get absolutely wasted so they could film it for shit and giggles. Well done for moving onto pints of water and refusing the alcohol.

AnneKipankitoo · 23/04/2023 18:39

Do not socialise with them again.

Ollifer · 23/04/2023 18:39

Well clearly they wanted you to make a fool of yourself and get more drunk. Don't socialise with them again.

Jeschara · 23/04/2023 18:40

Spiteful, immature buggers. These people need to be kept at arms lengh.
You enjoyed yourself, all those sad creatures could do could find fault and act with malicious intent.

Inkpotlover · 23/04/2023 18:42

They wanted to get you drunker so they could take more photos/videos. I'd be checking their socials to see if they've posted any.

Original poster
Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 18:42

I haven't been out with the two younger ones before the one close to my age yes, never known her do be like that.

I'm not really a bigger drinker but I've learnt to stop when I need to.

I feel really hurt.

OP posts:
YouWithoutEnd · 23/04/2023 18:42

Hang on a minute, imagine if two blokes did this, it would be considered to be far more sinister than it’s being portrayed to be in these comments.

These women were effectively spiking you.

Original poster
Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 18:44

Youwithoutend yes I know I feel like I should say summit to them but I wasn't sure if I was just being a stick in the mud.

OP posts:
itsayouproblem · 23/04/2023 18:47

YANBU

I like a drink but I know my own limits.

I absolutely cannot bear dickheads who pull stuff like this - I made the mistake of going out with my bitchy NCT group and they were like this. Ordering me a double when I'd asked for a single etc (when doing rounds).

It absolutely crosses a line for me into some really murky territory.

Ollifer · 23/04/2023 18:47

You need to be more assertive. If you are sure that they switched your water for alcohol you absolutely should be having it out with them

Iwantmyoldnameback · 23/04/2023 18:49

Well you had a good time, they spent their sad little evening watching you and planning your downfall which failed spectacularly. I think you're well ahead on that deal!

Original poster
Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 18:52

100% know they did it! Watched while I was dancing one of them take my water. While other one went to bar and bring back pint of vodka lemonade she had been drinking cider all night so she wasn't drinking it. Then I sat at the other end of the table and they made a point to pass it down with the one that I thought was a friend and she was thx one pushing the drink on me. I did snap and say that's not water then she back tracked and said so and so got it.

Tbh reading your comments I'm grateful I haven't over reacted. All the things you are writing is what was going through my head. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 18:55

Also on a positive I was out with some lovely ladies and we all have each others backs. Just those three that are poison

OP posts:
EllenLRipley · 23/04/2023 18:55

This is seriously unhinged behaviour - I am shocked several of you have been at the sharp end of it.
I'd bring it up at work
"What was the plan on Saturday then, when you bought me a pint of vodka and lemonade and pretended it was water?"
If you get no response I'd say "I assumed there was an explanation rather than the usual spiking and date rape reasons, but you've nothing to say for yourself"
Then I would fuck them right off.

Northernsouloldies · 23/04/2023 18:55

Face to face, I would tell them, I saw you spike my water with vodka. And say it in front of others who were there. Vicious little bastards.

OdeToBarney · 23/04/2023 18:56

That's bang out of order and you are not overreacting at all.

Caloriecount24042023 · 23/04/2023 18:56

This is shocking and you should avoid these women. What industry do you work in? Surely if on a works night out this behaviour is not acceptable.

mrsbyers · 23/04/2023 18:59

I’d address it with them and the rest of the group today , say you had a great night but didn’t appreciate the younger ones trying to spike you in that manner - it’s fucking dreadful what they did

LauraSaidIShouldBeNicer · 23/04/2023 19:01

Did you mention it to any of the other ladies you were out with. Completely terrible behaviour from them.

Original poster
Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 19:02

Caloriecount24042023 · 23/04/2023 18:56

This is shocking and you should avoid these women. What industry do you work in? Surely if on a works night out this behaviour is not acceptable.

I work in wholesale, I already battle with a bunch of narcissistic men. Now this Hmm

OP posts:
SeulementUneFois · 23/04/2023 19:05

OP

This is disturbing behavior.

You need to say it to them at work in front of as many people as possible.

PollyAmour · 23/04/2023 19:07

They deliberately spiked your drink. That's reprehensible behaviour. I would make it known far and wide, at work, exactly what they did. Someone else might be on the receiving end of their malicious behaviour on the next night out.

Caloriecount24042023 · 23/04/2023 19:08

They are just disgusting human beings I mean you could have had a medical reaction to a pint of alcohol. It seems like the older one felt embarrassed once you called her out on it. The younger ones should be ashamed but I doubt they will be. Avoid them and if you go out again with work guard your drink.

ringyloopy · 23/04/2023 19:11

What a horrible, spiteful thing to do. Are you likely to see them at work again? If so, I'd give them the fright of their lives, say you know they took your picture and if you find out that your image has been distributed anywhere, you will be making a formal complaint to HR. Yes, it was outside of work but I'm fairly huge most HR people would consider this a form of bullying.