Out at a part last night-mean girls vibe

[Sunflowersshine]

hi, I’m not sure if I’m being to sensitive but I’m 36 I went out with work mates last night to a colleagues birthday party.

we were all drinking having a good night dancing. Now last night I let my hair down. Unlike work we’re I have to be professional I was more my funny giggly self dancing. 2 of the women kept watching my every move taking photos of me drunk. ( I wasn’t harming any one just dancing with friends)

towards the end of the night I felt like I had reached my limit so ordered a pint of water from the bar. Drank it and carried on dancing. I went back and got some more water. When I sat down one of them said to me what are u drinking I said water. I went back dancing with my friends. And I caught one of them moving my water away. Then the other got up and went to the bar.

m she came back with a pint of alcohol (I had stuck to vodka lemonade all night) but not pints. Clearly this was in the pint glass this time. I sat at another part of the table talking with people. And one of the ladies said here’s your water! I said thanks but I could see it wasn’t water.

I got back up asked for some more water st the bar sat down, she then proceeded to say drink this first. Because I had a drink I was angry but I didn’t want to cause a scene. So I said that’s not water. She then said oh it was so and so who got you it.

I felt very betrayed like they were taking the mick out of me.

I got a lift home straight away. I just feel like it was malice in it. If I’d of drank that pint I would of been floored. Why would they do this. 2 of them are in early 20s but the one who kept trying to get me to drink it is the same age and we have worked together for years. 😔

I'd report them to your manager/HR or even call 111. That will put the shits up the spiteful cows.

I wouldn’t speak to HR or take it further but as you’re the manager & they are sad little girls, mentally note it. You know who they are now so if they report into you their progression won’t happen.

Just glad your ok and kept your wits about you.

I would stop going out with people like this, or anyone from work from now on. Let your hair down with your friends, they are not good people. Keep work separate from your personal life. Watch them if you work with them.

Since you told us that you're a manager I would assume they were hoping to get you so out of control that you embarrassed yourself, and then send photos/video of you around your work place to make you look like an idiot. I'm so glad you caught them, and if I were in your shoes, I would be very tempted to make their life hell at work after this. I know you shouldn't but you're only human, and I wouldn't blame you at all.

You really need to raise this with your line managers/HR.

Just seen your update.

I think it's a mistake not to get HR involved but well done for tackling it head on.

These two think that you are a walkover to behave like that towards you, so I would watch them both like a hawk and put as much space between them and you as possible.

I'm really shocked at this behaviour.

You know that this is a criminal offence, right? Spiking isn't just about rapists and Rohypnol, it's adding any form of alcohol or drug to someone's drink without their knowledge, regardless of intent behind it. I'm not suggesting you go to the police (unless you want to!) but it might be worth mentioning if they try to pass this off as 'a bit of a laugh'. Maybe framed as a warning that if they do this to a less understanding/forgiving person they could be in very deep shit.

Sympathies OP.

That is awful, I think it happened to me at our work Christmas party as one of the other HCAs & matron (who are very tight together and were very pissed) bought me a lemonade which I could taste vodka in!
I can't drink alcohol as I take high doses of medications that would literally make me unconscious within a couple of drinks.
I miss not drinking, I'm not sober for the sake of it!!
Why are people such dicks?

Pack mentality. Nasty and cruel arseholes

I honestly think you’re leaving yourself vulnerable professionally if you don’t let your manager and HR know. You don’t have to ask them to take any action and can tell it lightly saying what you felt happened, tell them how you dealt with it and their response and even saying you don’t want any action taken as it was a social event not a work event. If they owned up and were aghast that they “had drunken thought it was a good idea” (which they might go with even if they weren’t that drink) then that would still be bad but denying is worse and should be noted too. Verbally and follow up with an email summary.

It’s horrible to do this to someone who obviously feels they have had enough to drink. According to a police campaign a while back it is actually classed as spiking to give somebody alcohol when they’re not aware of it - eg giving them a double when they asked for a single, so this would definitely count. I would be very wary around them.

Horrible, spiteful women. That would be the last night out I went on with any of them.

They've shown themselves for what they are now. I'd have to speak to them about it tomorrow as others have said and I would keep a professionally wide berth now.

I'd also want proof all pictures are deleted.

I agree. I view work colleagues as colleagues first no matter how friendly we are and how much I think they would probably have my back. Some have turned into deeper friendships but only when we stopped working together. Same with neighbours! My Dad was a solicitor and used to say the worse disputes were between neighbours who had once been the best of friends. I’m friendly with neighbours but never close friends.

Would you not have to be wary about raising this with HR, even if you don’t want formally to pursue a course of action, without having some reasonable evidence that this behaviour happened?

I had this done to me at an ex's xmas work do...posh hotel etc....i literally fell asleep in my dinner and ex had to carry me up to the room...i was mortified and so apologetic but found out weeks later i'd been bought much stronger drinks than id asked for.

Worth asking the bar if there was any cctv?

They have shown their true colours keep away from them.

Good shout. I'm sure the person who served them would remember getting a pint of vodka or vodka in a pint glass too

They weren't just taking the mick OP. That sounds plain dangerous. They were taking photos?

I'd be worried they were looking to embarrass you/ make you seem unprofessional at work. And hat when they realised you had sensibly switched to water they decided to try and make you look like an alcoholic or something in front of people.

A pint of vodka is £££ - not cheap enough for a simple joke.

Watch you're back because they're trying to stab you in it somehow.

Hr here. Tell them. If the connection between you and these people is work, then there is a link and action can be taken. This could have had nasty consequences.
I'd take it seriously.

Your* sorry

That’s really shitty but surely you would have noticed if you took a sip, how were they expecting you to drink a pint and not notice it wasn’t water. Or was it just to see your reaction.

This is serious OP.

I'd be contacting the bar to see if they have any evidence. CCTV or if not, see if the carstaaff fan remember. Just in case they panic that they're about to be found out spiking a manager at work and make some counter allegations

• bar staff can