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AIBU?

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Original poster

Out at a part last night-mean girls vibe

97 replies

Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 18:36

hi, I’m not sure if I’m being to sensitive but I’m 36 I went out with work mates last night to a colleagues birthday party.

we were all drinking having a good night dancing. Now last night I let my hair down. Unlike work we’re I have to be professional I was more my funny giggly self dancing. 2 of the women kept watching my every move taking photos of me drunk. ( I wasn’t harming any one just dancing with friends)

towards the end of the night I felt like I had reached my limit so ordered a pint of water from the bar. Drank it and carried on dancing. I went back and got some more water. When I sat down one of them said to me what are u drinking I said water. I went back dancing with my friends. And I caught one of them moving my water away. Then the other got up and went to the bar.

m she came back with a pint of alcohol (I had stuck to vodka lemonade all night) but not pints. Clearly this was in the pint glass this time. I sat at another part of the table talking with people. And one of the ladies said here’s your water! I said thanks but I could see it wasn’t water.

I got back up asked for some more water st the bar sat down, she then proceeded to say drink this first. Because I had a drink I was angry but I didn’t want to cause a scene. So I said that’s not water. She then said oh it was so and so who got you it.

I felt very betrayed like they were taking the mick out of me.

I got a lift home straight away. I just feel like it was malice in it. If I’d of drank that pint I would of been floored. Why would they do this. 2 of them are in early 20s but the one who kept trying to get me to drink it is the same age and we have worked together for years. 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunflowersshine · 23/04/2023 21:32

Thanks for all your support. I don't need cctv I seen it all play out.

It's mental isn't it. I've scared one. I said I know the law max sentence is 10 years under UK law. For drink and drug spiking.

I'm glad I posted on here I feel empowered felt down about it all day.

Yes I have some lovely work mates and we have each others backs. I will never socialise with these again. I'm a very fair manager will keep professional at work but it is purely work.

To the poster who said if it was a man.

Your right can you imagine the uproar if two men did that.

It's very mean girls two of them sat at the table all night while every one else was dancing. Sat there plotting sad really sad when you think about it.

OP posts:
Northernsouloldies · 23/04/2023 21:50

Scaring one of them with that one comment was a thing of beauty. Well done op. Now it's that persons turn to have doubts about what they done.

HaveSomeIntrospect · 23/04/2023 21:57

It doesn’t matter that you weren’t at an official work event. You can still report it to HR.
Do you work for a large company?
Did any of your other work colleagues witness any of this behaviour?

Livelovebehappy · 23/04/2023 22:01

These boring people made you their entertainment for the evening, just because they’ve were clearly bored with each other’s company. They sound very immature and pretty pathetic. I’d definitely step back from them at work. Be civil and professional and speak to them when you have to, but other than that don’t engage with them. If you try to call them out on what they were doing, they will obviously deny it, and play on the fact you were drunk.

LexMitior · 23/04/2023 22:05

Bitches.

Agree that you should avoid them - but clearly the idea was you got wasted and then what might have happened? A few photos are the least of it.

Inkpotlover · 23/04/2023 22:07

Well done for confronting one of them. I hope she tells them and it's put the fear of God in them all. Spiking your drink was a vicious and nasty thing to do - what if you'd drunk it and ended up so plastered you blacked out or fell over or something?

SparklyBlackKitten · 23/04/2023 22:16

What a double standard. Everyone is saying 'you should have said something ' or 'you should raise it with HR'

Id these were guys that spiked your drink, everyone would have told you to envolve the police

Honest to God I wouldn't know why you didn't inform the barstaff and the police! If they did this to you (not only a colleagues but a manager) imagine what they would try to pull with strangers!

Ps as a manager "letting your hair down" is unprofessional. Very unprofessional. And nothing is more embarrassing as a employee to see your manager get very tipsy and on the verge of being drunk...

LexMitior · 23/04/2023 22:18

My assumption is one of them wants your job frankly

Emmamoo89 · 23/04/2023 22:18

YADNBU. X

Jellifulfruit · 23/04/2023 22:23

Definitely not being unreasonable. I hope you still had fun and made some wicked memories despite this immature behaviour x

RoseAylingEllisFanClub · 23/04/2023 22:35

As PP have said alcohol can interact with medications and colleagues will not be privy to confidential medical information so they need to think about how dangerous it was medically. They could have been had up on serious charges if you’d been seriously unwell or died as a result of such an interaction.

And if you’d been so drunk and incapable you’d ended up in a dangerous situation or raped, how would they feel?

Similarly people might not drink because they’ve had an alcohol problem in the past. So again, that’s dangerous.

And spiking the drink of a colleague who is Muslim, or from a Christian background that also abstains from alcohol, leaves them wide open to harassment charges.

For all of those reasons, I think you should take it to HR. If they pull that shit with you, they could pull the same shit with a younger and more vulnerable colleague to far more devastating effect.

ImustLearn2Cook · 23/04/2023 22:39

@SparklyBlackKitten If the intention behind spiking someone’s drink was to rape them, then yes involve the police. That is a horrific and extremely traumatising crime.

But the intention was to get some embarrassing footage of her. And it didn’t work so, probably not a police matter.

I think there is a big difference between someone trying to rape you and someone trying to humiliate you, so not a double standard at all to respond differently.

@Sunflowersshine Good on you for letting your hair down, and for also not letting those nasty three get away with their malicious behaviour with you.

People like that do need to be held accountable though because they’ll try again with someone else.

Northernsouloldies · 23/04/2023 22:46

If the intention was to embarress op by spiking her drink let's just surmise they were successful. What would the outcome be if something happened to op after they parted company. Glad that op sussed their little game. Definitely turn the table on these lot.

elm26 · 23/04/2023 23:08

I hate this! Nasty and spiteful.

Us girls are meant to have each others backs on nights out especially when alcohol is involved! I'd be gutted if a female pulled this shit on me and I'd never ever do it to anyone.

Hope you're okay OP and I agree that I would mention it to them in front of everyone at work and also report to HR.

JaneJeffer · 23/04/2023 23:08

The bar woman

Out at a part last night-mean girls vibe
Confusion101 · 23/04/2023 23:09

Please also pull them up for videoing you dancing without your permission. That annoys me no end. Nobody can do anything these days without somebody filming it!!!!

Your last post resonated with me. The young girls at my work place just sit down whispering sniggering and sneering on nights out too. They don't ever seem to be enjoying themselves, just sitting down bitching! Bizzare behaviour!

NeatCompactSleeper · 23/04/2023 23:35

That's bizarre and must've cost them an absolute fortune too.

JackiePlace · 23/04/2023 23:38

Bitches. I'd have been tempted to pour it over their heads. Or take it to the police to make a complaint about them spiking your water. Who knows what they might have put in it?

TempName247 · 24/04/2023 14:06

There’s no way you would have drunk more than a sip though, I don’t understand. It would make more sense if they put extra vodka in a vodka lemonade but there’s no way to trick someone who is drinking water into downing a pint of vodka lemonade.

no point going to HR, they will say they bought you a drink. Even though you know they were being bitchy, it will make you sound like you are overreacting.

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 24/04/2023 14:10

They clearly wanted you to make a fool of yourself hence trying to get you too drunk! I’m glad you noticed. People like this are generally unhappy with themselves and jealous they can’t let their hair down and dance the night away! Glad you have nicer colleagues but ignore these in future or be civil but don’t socialise!

Inkpotlover · 24/04/2023 20:57

What happened today, @Sunflowersshine?

Whichwhatnow · 24/04/2023 21:04

TempName247 · 24/04/2023 14:06

There’s no way you would have drunk more than a sip though, I don’t understand. It would make more sense if they put extra vodka in a vodka lemonade but there’s no way to trick someone who is drinking water into downing a pint of vodka lemonade.

no point going to HR, they will say they bought you a drink. Even though you know they were being bitchy, it will make you sound like you are overreacting.

I'd assume they were hoping the OP was already so drunk that she wouldn't notice. They don't exactly sound the brightest tbh.

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