I’m addicted to shoplifting and got caught today

[Shamefaced23]

And banned nationally from that supermarket for life .
I am bipolar and did it to get a high - I’ve been addicted to alcohol and cutting myself in the past.
I’m so ashamed , I’m worried my family will find out.
I did wrong and I admit it . Is there anywhere I can get help.

It is unlikely that the store will have someone poised over the CCTV to check every person coming in to every store. Leave it a week and you will be fine to go back to the same store. They are unlikely to risk confronting you unless your appearance is very distinctive. Wear a Covid mask next time.
I’m not condoning shoplifting but you sound like you have your demons to manage.

Definitely another vote for addiction meetings. I am a recovering alcoholic and I have also been a diet obsessive. Therapy and AA saved me.
My best friend is a convicted thief. It has taken me thirty years to get her into counselling. She will steal anything cars, benefits, jewellery etc. She did use to shoplift until she worked for me and saw just how much money a small business lost daily. My friend has a servere mental health condition which she has finally admitted stems from her childhood. She has lost countless jobs, rentals etc as the Internet will never let you forget it if you go to court. Women get sent to prison as there is space. I have been a prison visitor, it is horrendous. My friend's children are scared by her behaviour. They lost their mum. Don't be that person. Get help, accept every opportunity to be supported. My friend has just joined a Charity that supports ex offenders, she wouldn't hear of it but I think she is exhausted by the fear she lives with. Shame is all consuming. Tomorrow is a new day. Make those calls.

Burglary? Nonsense.

Correct.

Burglary is committed when an offender either: a) as a trespasser enters a building intending to steal, inflict grievous bodily harm or do unlawful damage; or, b) having entered as a trespasser steals or attempts to steal, or inflicts or attempts to inflict grievous bodily harm.

bad coping strategies

This is a good place to start - you know you have bad coping strategies and can start learning new ones that are more positive for you

I’d not bother wasting time & energy worrying about getting back into a store - when you were drinking/trying to stop a visit to a pub wouldn’t be supportive of making a change would it? Too much temptation

talk to your GP/mental health team and ask about healthy coping strategies - you may need to learn a few

learning lots of coping strategies will let you find out what works for you, be able to rotate them/pick the most effective one for a particular situation and hopefully not get too obsessed with ‘one and one only’ so you can avoid it tipping over into an unhealthy one (thinking about your gym addiction)

first though accept that going in store is unwise and unhelpful at this point and get deliveries - that removes some temptation/compulsion at least until you have better coping strategies in place

Incredible that British society has degraded so much that the response to blatant repeated theft is:

"It's okay, you got MH issues, don't worry about it, it's not your fault!"

or

"Relax, it's a victimless crime"

Being compassionate doesn't mean you diminish or overlook criminal behaviour. That sort of attitude will fast-track us to a degenerate lawless society (we're well on the way).

OP, you committed several crimes and contrary to Mumsnet belief, there is no such thing as a victimless crime. You have hurt real people with your actions and you need to stop if you consider yourself a decent human being. Your addictions may provide motive but it contributes precisely zero towards your innocence. Never even attempt to use it as justification for your actions.

That being said, if your addictions are the motive then you need to get help to break the addiction. Addictions are powerful and you will need all the help and support you can get. Start with your GP and explain the situation. Rehab may be required but once you are free, you will feel like a massive weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Yes, I know I have shoplifted on several occasions, I know that I am guilty of committing an offence. I know I am not innocent. I know what I did was my fault and entirely wrong. I am very ashamed.

I am going to be off for a few hours now as I need to try and do bedtime with my child.

www.enjoykingsheath.com/about/how-to-edit-your-business-listing-on-the-website/

Not nonsense @Sirius3030

Bipolar is an affective disorder whereas kleptomania is an impulse control disorder. Not that all disorders are totally separate to one another but if you go back to a healthcare provider and tell them more specifically what you're struggling with they might be able to give you better help.

OP,
What about repaying the value of everything you've stolen. If not to the store or stores then anonymously to a charity. If you did that would you feel a little better. I am only guessing about how I might feel but I don't think I could even start to forgive myself if I hadn't tried to rectify what I had done wrong.

You have no idea about mental health problems.

That’s to Reality25

I worked in retail too. They used to put photos on the security room walls. Then it stopped. Not allowed .

We had intelligence bulletins shared across branches

Photos of the person and vehicle

Kept in a folder off the shopfloor . Couldn't put them up on walls

OK you are ill and need to get some treatment. That’s the first and most important thing. Lots of good suggestions here.

You need fo focus less on your family finding out, or on the inconvenience, and more on the fact you could well have been charged with a criminal offence, not just banned. Plenty of people are reported to the police and charged every day.

It was also obviously escalating as you stole much more than before. The ban is actually a kindness compared to reporting you.

If your family know about your bi polar, surely this is something you need to tell them about so they can understand why you need to avoid shops in general for a while?

I think you will have to get used to shopping on line and accepting the delivery charge as this is a way of managing your addiction. Otherwise it’s like being addicted to gambling and going into bookies?

This is terrible advice

So what happened when a car on your list got a new owner, were they banned also

Already in this thread you've shown good insight and a different way to cope by going to the gym and eating better. You really do need some support on to of this. Might be worth looking at a new aa sponsor and speaking to your gp. On top of the mental health issues, peri menopause can really make the wheels fall off. That's when I truly realised that I needed assessment and help for both potential asd and adhd as I couldn't cope with life. Hrt has helped enormously. Menopause can do awful things to your brain and kleptomania has been known to be caused by this.

You need to get help you obviously intend to be dishonest about this to family. Its important that you find someone you can be honest with noone can help you if you're living a lie

Thanks for all the comments - I did an AA meeting last night and will try and get support from there.
Yes- I think it was a blessing I was banned and not reported to the police, I'll be sticking to online shopping now.
I do t think I can have HRT because I am overweight but I am peri menopausal and in addition to the bipolar/ borderline I know from online screenings I have a lot of ADHD issues and probably ASD - I don't think a GP / psychiatrist will support me to get those diagnosed though in this area - they wouldn't refer my child - I had to go private for that
Hopefully if I lose some weight I can go on HRT as I think that would help me a lot.
I will be confiding in my family.

Being overweight shouldn't stop you having hrt in general. Let your gp advise you and also see if they can refer you for asd/adhd assessments. They're under adult mental health and completely separate to the children's. I know you feel really defeated right now, but one step at a time. You deserve and are worthy of help, as much as anyone else.

Well done for going to the meeting.
I absolutely agree with telling your family. You know how addiction to alcohol is helped enormously when you are truthful and open and honest with those close to you. This addiction will be easier to beat if you have people on your side.
All the best and you can do this.

I would also go back to your gp. And be completely honest.

@User158349890 well of course that never happened....but if it HAD, then surely you match up the dirty thief with it!!! No match, no problem!

Not exactly rocket science.