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Original poster

DD13 accused of sending nudes wwyd

108 replies

Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:04

I’m totally heartbroken
another boy has accused my dd of sending nudes
she didn’t tell me she waited until I checked her phone
she denies this and said the only picture she sent she was in Shorts and jumper and was with a friend
I then read a message to ba friend she said that she wanted to die and a friend had sent it to him - I spoke to her again and she said that she didn’t want to get friend in trouble but she sent the picture - I asked if it was a more revealing picture - dd is adamant that there is no picture other than her in shirts and jumper with her friend. She sas this picture and incident was taken in December

this friend had form for sending private photos of dd (and other girls) to boys I also had the messages at the time and I that this particular group chat was sexual and I had removed dd from this and blocked the 2 boys

this girl is not a friend and iv been telling my dd that now iv told
her she will not allowed here or her to go there!

but how do I handle it this time as dd is denying anything else (iv explained I need her to tell so I can protect her and wouldn’t be angry) but I’m not sure she’s being honest now.
iv said she is only allowed to send or post pics of her face.
she said she can message the boy to ask him to send the pic that was sent as proof, but I’m not sure whether to make it bigger or not

to also complicate matters she said her friend sent from her account - so I’m questioning is she saying it’s this friend (who I know is completely untrustworthy)

OP posts:
justlurkinghere · 23/04/2023 07:07

I would believe my daughter until someone proves otherwise. I'd talk to my daughter about the issues around these pictures again and that it's important that she tell me if she has sent one, so we can sort it out. Remind her not to be ashamed as we've all made mistakes in life, including yourself. I'm not sure what else you can do?

Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:11

justlurkinghere · 23/04/2023 07:07

I would believe my daughter until someone proves otherwise. I'd talk to my daughter about the issues around these pictures again and that it's important that she tell me if she has sent one, so we can sort it out. Remind her not to be ashamed as we've all made mistakes in life, including yourself. I'm not sure what else you can do?

This is what I’m thinking
I was thinking if she asks this boy about pictures it could blow it all up out of proportion?

she is normally honest when reAlky asked and she is quite worried about this
I just want to take the phone off her but that’s punishing her for potentially someone making up rumours about her

OP posts:
Handpickled · 23/04/2023 07:16

Was she honest about being in the sexualised group chat? Generally teens will lie and lie on this topic. I am not saying don’t believe her but rather that protecting her means belief may not be the first position to adopt.

maddening · 23/04/2023 07:18

I would contact the boy and advise you will be going to the police about malicious communications and that any images of dd should be deleted and not sent out as to do so would constitute a criminal act and that you would appreciate it if he could ask his parents to contact you. Also state no further communication is to be sent to dd.as it will be considered harassment, all further contact should be via you.

Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:24

Handpickled · 23/04/2023 07:16

Was she honest about being in the sexualised group chat? Generally teens will lie and lie on this topic. I am not saying don’t believe her but rather that protecting her means belief may not be the first position to adopt.

She normally find then comes clean but says she would be so worried about this she would tell me. It’s been since December and no picture has materialised as of yet but I’m not ruling out fibbing and for me something doesn’t add up. More and more lately she is omitting information.

no she didn’t tell me about this group chat I found it to be fair it wasn’t really her it was the girl and this boy who I blocked

it is this boys friend who accused her of it and she said she told him she was in her shorts and jumper and he kept repeating yeah a nude so dd thinks he doesn’t understand what a nude is
I have to say if she’s worried she normally would break down and tell me
I’m so confused with what to do

a few things don’t add up like why she omitted to tell me her friend sent the picture
of it was a picture of her in her shorts how does she remember it as she’s always on her shorts and jumpers (she trains for a sports team in them)

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:26

maddening · 23/04/2023 07:18

I would contact the boy and advise you will be going to the police about malicious communications and that any images of dd should be deleted and not sent out as to do so would constitute a criminal act and that you would appreciate it if he could ask his parents to contact you. Also state no further communication is to be sent to dd.as it will be considered harassment, all further contact should be via you.

She’s blocked the boy who accused her mow
she suggested contacting the boy she allegedly sent to to get him to send her the picture to show me what it was
which I want to do but don’t want it to get out of hand

OP posts:
GoodChat · 23/04/2023 07:29

Do you know the boys parents? Could you speak to them and ask them to check his phone?

BellaJuno · 23/04/2023 07:35

I’d speak to his parents and ask them to check his phone as he’s either got a access to a nude photo of your child which could be circulated whenever he decides in the future, or is spreading malicious lies about your child which can be devastating for a reputation at secondary school. Either way, I wouldn’t be leaving it as it is.

maudesvagina · 23/04/2023 07:36

Sharing nudes of minors is an offence so if she did and he has shared it that's a problem. Likewise asking him to send the picture to you if it is a node is problematic.
Perhaps letting the parents know that this is alleged and that they need to check his phone and let you know it's nothing otherwise you will need to go to the police and they can check the phones

Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:40

I don’t know the parents or even how I’d find them!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:40

Unless I messaged him on there to ask

OP posts:
maddening · 23/04/2023 07:40

You need to get the adults in the room and be clear that you will escalate to appropriate authorities if any images.are shared etc and any malicious communications take place Inc cyber bullying. Via the parents or via the school.

It is possible to take an innocent picture and photoshop it so it could be an altered picture for example. And whether the boy has a picture (doctored or original) or even no picture or innocent picture in shorts and jumper is neither here nor there - taunting your dd is cyber bullying and he needs to he spoken to about his conduct.

GoodChat · 23/04/2023 07:41

Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:40

Unless I messaged him on there to ask

Don't message the boy

GoodChat · 23/04/2023 07:42

Are they at the same school?

Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:42

I just don’t know where to go from here as she’s deleted this boys message and blocked him

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:42

No he’s not at her school

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:43

But this is what I mean I don’t want these rumours circulating unless I report this boy and his message to the police and they can address with him

OP posts:
GoodChat · 23/04/2023 07:44

Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:43

But this is what I mean I don’t want these rumours circulating unless I report this boy and his message to the police and they can address with him

I think that's the best option. You need to know for sure to be able to protect your daughter.

Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:44

I know she’d be horrified at that though

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedhead22 · 23/04/2023 07:46

i suppose I could speak to the police and get there advice

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 23/04/2023 07:47

Honestly you've done all you can. Block and move on. Rule is no pics.of.the body. Boy sounds stupid to keep calling her pic a nude. Ignore and try to forget the whole.thing. Tell.her to.come see you if there's anymore problems.

MissyB1 · 23/04/2023 07:51

By all means go to the police but remember if your dd did actually send him a nude pic then she has broken the law. I know she says she didn’t but you don’t seem 100% confident.

Summerslimtime · 23/04/2023 07:52

Just be aware that if the photo came from her account and it is a nude, then she is guilty of sending child porn. They should have been taught this at school.

TomeTome · 23/04/2023 07:52

I thought you said the photo was sent from her account allegedly by her friend? Why can’t you see it then?

Summerslimtime · 23/04/2023 07:52

Cross post!

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