100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

All well and good. Until she changes jobs... and this time it's in the opposite direction.
Then what?

Sorry, missed you already have answered.

They could move to Manchester or Leeds, but as has been pointed out numerous times, they could also move thirty minutes outside London and easily get a 4/5 bed house for far less than £1.5m. My area is 35-45 minutes train ride into central London and I would say about £700k for a large detached 4-5 bed house, which should be easily achievable on a joint income of £300k gross.

I agree that it is absurd that on your salaries you cannot afford a decent family sized home. I posted very similar on a thread a couple of days ago.

I don’t know what the answer is, I suppose at some point higher end houses will get cheaper because there will no longer be a pool of people who can afford them. Correction probably takes a generation though so it’ll be our DC that benefit.

Absolutely but there is a lot of nastiness on here in general, I really don't think people understand how high paid corporate jobs work and the stress levels involved either. The OP was asking for advice, it's totally fair to say she can't have it all. Move further out and increase the commute or have less leftover each month. I don't think its fair to say she has no right to ask questions unless she only has 5p leftover each month. Some people are crap with money and are so used to being well off/high earners and cannot see the obvious answers.

A decent family home is not out of your fecking reach, it is your unrealistic expectation of what a decent family home is that puts it out of your reach.

You need to seriously wind your neck in and spend some time understanding what your personal values actually are.

I completely missed that, this makes me doubt this thread a bit 🙄

No doubt you are trying to force your parents and in laws into free slave labor child care as well, while calling yourself the squeezed middle.

I think I’d disagree with your definition of ‘decent family home’. You must be ruling out a lot of areas and houses if you can’t find anything under 1.5 million. The thing about money is it gives you choices, but you need to be honest with yourself about the fact that you are making those choices. You have to prioritise what matters for you. If you want a bigger house you can absolutely afford one, but if you don’t want to make any compromises on location or style or curb appeal, then accept that a smaller house is the consequence of that choice.

I honestly don’t think some people realise that by earning this much it can be like selling your soul to the devil.
It sounds like a huge fortune. I get that it really does. But to earn this much usually it’s ok London where a massive chunk is going on a house close enough to not have a long commute. You need a shorter commute as the hours you are asked to work leave little time for eating and sleeping as it is.
It can be like the job owns you. Like you live to work not work to live. Answering calls and email at any time for day or night. Working all hours - logging on when you get home from 12 hours in the office to work another 4. Not seeing your kids from one week to the next hardly.
And the thing is you get stuck in this trap where you have a house to pay for, and bills and it’s hard to move away for friends / family / support / work reasons. By no means saying that people don’t have it harder- of course they do and living in poverty is the worst. But I’m just trying to say it’s not all a bed of roses sometimes that you think earning high would be.

Although, I can only dream of that kind of money I understand where you are coming from. You made so much sacrifices but there is a huge cut to your income. Unfortunately the UK is like this , high tax, high cost of homes, and right now the prices for everything is high. If I was earning as much as you I would want to be able to afford some luxuries too. It is shocking that you only have 1500 left to pay for bills and food.

A lot of people on this thread don't seem to get it at all. Maybe people who don't understand what it's like to live in London.

A 3 bed terrace in East London is not a luxury house. Most of the East End is made up of either dinky slum clearance cottages or bog standard Victorian terraces. And yet they cost upwards of £1 million. For that price elsewhere, the OP would have a mansion and an acre of garden.

It's all relative. The OP wants to feel that she has something to show for her hard work and she doesn't feel that she does. It's OK to feel that way. She's not negating anyone else's suffering or struggles. She knows she's privileged in many ways, but that doesn't mean she doesn't struggle with the discrepancy between what her salary 'should' mean in terms of payoff, and what it actually does, due to the high cost of living in London.

OP, if you want a larger house and a bit of space and a more stress free lifestyle, then sell up, move out, and find something else to do with your life. Selling your London house will give you enough to buy a lovely house elsewhere, with a much lower mortgage, which will then free you up to make different career decisions. If your mortgage is only £500 a month then suddenly you can work as a barista or in a book shop or retrain as a counsellor or whatever else your dreams might be, and still make ends meet and have a good life.

It depends what your priorities are. If you don't love London and the lifestyle that comes with it, then leave for somewhere where you can live the life you want. As soon as you move out of commuting distance to London, everything becomes much more possible in terms of finances and therefore life choices.

Wtf?!

We have a combined income of about that. We bought a house for £1.32m last year. We have a nanny. Whilst I don't wake up thinking 'what shall I buy today' we are hugely lucky to not have to worry about money. You're doing something wrong.

The fact that you chose to buy in Shoreditch when you have a family to raise tells me that you have upsidedown priorities. It's barely East London and I am sure it was for work access, but it's a place to rent while you are young and run from when you get sensible. Plus children are expensive, there is not hiding from that. Nursery can cost as much as a private school.

My advice: leave behind your Zone 1 ambitions and get out to Zones 3-4 if you need to stay for jobs. You will be fine and get so much more for your money. You've only been in London for 5 years and can't expect all the benefits instantly. Work hard for a few years, then expect to reap rewards.

The bitterness on this thread just keeps ramping up. The jelousy is insane.

To put a generous spin on your posts, op, I can see why you feel there’s a gap between your very high income and your fairly comfortable lifestyle. And you see it on here all the time- assumptions that if you’re in the top 1% of earners you must have housekeepers and gardeners and a fleet of cars. In fact, earning that in London with a big mortgage and small kids means your lifestyle feels unremarkable, despite the fact that it’s much easier than the average person’s actual lifestyle.

But you’re hugely undervaluing all sorts of things. The fact you can live day to day without worrying about money. The fact that you’ll have far more disposable income shortly. I think you’re feeling your lifestyle is ordinary without any real sense of what an “ordinary” lifestyle is actually like.

I also think that part of it is the generation you were born into. Not that long ago, someone on an equivalent income to yours would be living in Kensington, not Mile End. High earners in the generation or two above ours could afford a much more obviously wealthy lifestyle. But those are the shakes- it affects everyone and poorer people more than richer.

Also do bear in mind that, over time, you’ll get richer. You won’t always be paying for childcare. You’ll get pay rises. We were in your shoes 15 years ago, now it’s a completely different ball game.

What is the point in living in London ? I used to work for a family in Leigh on sea they had a lovely house walking distance to the station both had jobs like yours. Good schools and a lovely town to live in less than an hour from London and right by the sea. They definitely had a lot left over at the end of the month their lifestyle was amazing. I suggest you move out of London its far nicer for children to grow up in other small towns especially by the beach.

Haywards Heath 700k 4 bed house, easy commute to London

You don't have to live in London, you dont have to spend silly money, but with 300k between you, you should be able to work this out

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/133989275#/

Why do you need to live in a £1.5m home?!!

With no adjustments to salary

You both should be taking home

£ 7,481.53

So that £15,000 a MONTH and if you can't make that work then seriously, how do you have the skills to allow you to earn that much?

I feel quite bad for you @Goingtogetslated! The replies have been harsh.

My household income is 35k, so far less than you and some of that is UC because I'm a carer for my son, however if I wasn't I'd probably be employed nights doing nursing home work so it wouldn't be megabucks but a bit more.

I got on the property ladder at 20 so I'm lucky enough to have a mortgage on a nice property with decent equity now. (100% mortgages were a thing then)

I live not far from Liverpool, surrounded by beaches and countryside, but close enough to Liverpool and Chester for city trips.

We have a lovely life tbh, some days it's very hand to mouth simply because things can fuck up during the month such as household things or car things, but that aside, things are really nice.
I admit when I had more money things were easier by miles.

I imagine to be a High earner you're very educated etc? Would you not miss the job you've worked hard to get?

Lots to think about for you but people I've met locally who have moved from London either love being away or detest being gone, rarely an in-between.

Op I don’t think it’s an anti feminist response you are getting here. There are probably a number of people posting who have high incomes and are the main breadwinner.

Nothing wrong with high aspirations but the phrase cut your suit to fit your cloth is a proverb for a reason. Very very few people could afford a 4 bed house in central London. If you want to be one of them then basically your only option is to climb the ladder at work and make more money. Which is a pretty feminist message!

Or, make your dreams a bit more realistic!

Exactly.

Growing up, my dad had a job like this. We never saw him. In the evenings, on weekends, on holidays, he was constantly on the phone (pre laptops and smart phones!) taking calls. He was under so much stress all the time, and as my mum was a SAHM at his insistence, it was all on him to pay the mortgage, the school fees, etc. We had a nice house and everything we wanted, but we had a dad who was MIA and always distracted when he was around. It's no life.

People who say that poor people work long hours too are missing the point. Yes, of course they do, but not in jobs that carry any huge responsibility or that take over their lives beyond their contracted hours. They're not 'owned' by their employers. Once they've finished their day, they are free to go home and not think about work again until the next day. The levels of stress involved in needing to be always available, always 'on', are a completely different ballgame, and that's why the salaries are so high.

The thing is after a certain income as a salaried employee more gets taken away in tax. So even 'payrises' won't help that much.
The OP does have some unrealistic expectations IMO ( the house she posted was perfectly fine, not a 'nondescript new build') but the reality of jobs like this is once you finish work at 7 p.m. an hour+ commute is soul destroying. A few hours, and then you have to sleep, get up and repeat.

Personally I can't do it. I need more sleep than most. But even for my more 'resilient' colleagues it takes a toll.

Haven’t read the full thread, but based on this comment, you should move.

You want a luxurious lifestyle (more than just a ‘nice family home’ which is what a 3 bed semi in London is) and £300k will definitely get you that pretty much anywhere in the UK except central London.