100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

That's a massive house, you absolute lunatic.

Got to be trolling.

I think maybe it’s worth taking a longer term view and trying to picture how things will be on a few years’ time. Parenting small children while also holding down a job always feels totally relentless and exhausting, whatever salary you’re on. My youngest is 9 now and it’s getting progressively easier every year, as my kids are getting more independent and able to entertain themselves - next year he’ll be able to walk to and from from school by himself if needed which will take away the stress of trying to juggle school pick-ups etc. I’m starting to find bits of time to do things I want to do. We moved out of London many years ago for similar reasons you’re feeling I think - the astronomical cost of living and housing there, and the thought of wasting hours on a commute to the only places we could afford to live. If you have jobs that can be done elsewhere in the country it’s definitely worth looking at I think. Do you need a bigger house or could you just stay put for the moment and save? We’ve paid off the mortgage on our house now - a small 3 bed house, which fits us and 2 kids - and it’s a wonderful feeling of freedom (we earn a fifth of your income, but that feels like quite a lot in the midlands with no mortgage to pay)

Depends where you live and how many kids you have, surely?

In Central Scotland, where I am, on a combined income of £300k per year, you'd be laughing (with or without kids). In London, with enough kids to warrant (or so you seem to think) a 5 bedroom house, maybe not so much. Although you're obviously still in a very high earning bracket, even for London.

@Goingtogetslated do you own your 3-bed semi? How much equity do you have? Because it seems to me that you could have a much cheaper house in the commuter belt than you think…

Yes exactly this. Really annoys me that people who are high earners are not allowed to post about their salaries. OP wasn't bragging...was simply asking whether working so hard for 100k+ salary is worth it when in real terms it doesn't stretch that far. Also clear from the title of thread what it's about so if it's so offensive don't look at yhr thread

I do think the OP could have had a very different thread if she had been more appreciative of what she’s got and got the tone better. Eg: we’re both working in high earning, high stress jobs but starting to feel it isn’t worth it for a family. Should one of us go part time despite the earning drop? When I was young I thought my salary would get me x and be a reasonable trade-off. Now I feel too much of our money goes on outsourcing, childcare etc to enable us to work but it doesn’t feel like the balance is right.

What the OP did instead was have a moan that she couldn’t have a £1.5m house and have the lifestyle she wanted on top and that a couple of holidays a year wasn’t life changing.

I’m here in a tiny house with no garden, no fancy holidays, no fancy clothes and I work all hours. But I’m grateful to have a house at all.

Honestly, you’re complaining because you think you’re entitled to a 4/5 bed house and fancy stuff? You either accept how lucky you are, move out of London and commute or move away, take lesser paid jobs and see if you like the other side.

I absolutely get what you mean OP.

My friend moved out to Epsom, commuted into London. Retired at 50yo. He now wants to sell up and relocate to Yorkshire but his wide has relatives nearby so not just yet.

I think sometimes your life right now can be far from what you'd like, but ultimately at some stage, if you invest for the future, it will fund the lifestyle that you crave.

Just a thought though, from Euston Station, the following are easy commutes - Coventry 1 hour, Rugby 50minutes, Nottingham 1 hour, Northampton, 1 hour, Leighton Buzzard 35mins, Milton Keynes, 35mins etc. Sure train fares are more, but in terms of house and lifestyle, all these places offer so much more.

Maybe moving out further than you were thinking and getting out of the SE/SW completely would work for you?

Do you socialise a lot?
Do you have family near by?

I wouldn’t relocate whilst I had children. I wanted to be near friends and family for support. If those aren’t factors then aside from wages, which which you wouldn’t need if you moved, what is keeping you there?

As for the mortgage, when buying a new house I’ve never gone for the maximum I’ve always based it on the repayments of no more than 25% of our income after tax etc at the time. This has ensured that we’ve been able to take holidays, live a little etc.

Watch Gabe Bult on You Tube. We are at just above half of your combined salaries and reduced our outgoings drastically with a view to make the money work for us and not the other way round. We shop in the cheapest places, gave up most luxuries apart from travel where we don’t compromise. We are working on a plan to return in our early 50s and to achieve that we live like someone on quarter of our salaries.

Thread has obv moved on since you posted this OP, but personally I wouldn't bust my arse for the lifestyle you describe, no. I don't know anything about living in the countryside, I'm in a northern city, but people who have genuine choices opting to do what you do has always seemed rather a mug's game to me.

For people who are actually enjoying living in London then yeah, the housing costs make sense. And of course, lots of Londoners are insulated from those costs anyway. So clearly the positives outweigh the negatives sometimes. But chasing my arse around like you do to live like that when you aren't even happy with it? No chance. Our household income is under a quarter of yours and we have, frankly, a nicer life.

You are not stuck in the middle. You’re well off! But yes you need to move further out of London if you want to feel you’re getting your moneys worth.

Here you go op, 5 bed house in commuter ville for £850, needs a bit of work but you can afford that. You have a house alreasy so I assume you won't need a mortgage for the full £850? You can probably sell your 3 bed in London for nearly that.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/124886984#/?channel=RES_BUY

OP how far are you able to commute, taking children and childcare into consideration?

Could you move to Brighton or surrounding towns/villages (Uckfield has a London line) and be able to commute?
Id hate to live in London with those prices. I'd choose the countryside any day of the week.

The whole issue is living in London no? Can’t you just move out of london to get the house/life style you want?

I can easily see that with the salaries you are on your life style outside of London would be much better. It is definitely worth weight up the options, especially since you have a family life to consider too. You may well find yourselves “better off” moving out of London to a nice city of town even if you both earned a bit less.

The house you used as an example would probably be 600K ish where I am. Of course you don’t get the excitement and benefits of living in the capital.

@Dibbydoos the cost for the 1 hour train from Coventry though is absolutely eye watering. Arguably it would be better to put the money into a more expensive house, season ticket 11.5K. Plus tube/ parking on top. Most people go on London Midland which is more affordable but slower.

I think you need to look to the future OP when you will have no mortgage and both have great pensions. You are at the very worst point financially right now.

But I can’t get a GP appointment easily, my kids’ schooling is a joke due to years of underfunding, the roads are chaos and I don’t have a library that I can access. When I have attempted to call the police (drug dealing in a school car park), I couldn’t even get anyone to pick up the phone. What’s the point of tax again?

The real question is, what’s the point in being in the 1% of earners if all it gets you is a lifestyle easily achieveable with far less effort and more extensive government support? I pointed this out on a thread about doctors and their decline in living standards and got my arse handed to me on a plate, so I guess we know what this country thinks about high-value workers.

And rightly so if you're on 300k combined.

Why on earth would that make her a lunatic?

Im in a 5 bedroom house and fully intend on going bigger when the money allows. We all live within our means.

Maybe look at family homes in SE London. 1/2 an hour to Charing Cross station, even less on the new Elizabeth Line. 4 bed houses on Rightmove close to Blackheath from £650K. On £300K pa there is plenty of scope to downsize!

Are you in trendy, overpriced Hackney or Shoreditch or somewhere like that?

This is 1/2 mile from 3 train stations and is in New Eltham which is around 30-40 mins to central London.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/133759871#/

I don't think OP is being unreasonable to wonder if it is worth it, or to 'expect' that such a high salary would allow a different sort of lifestyle.

Fwiw - my household has a combined income of maybe £62K, with both of us working full time (only in term time for me). We have a tiny cottage in a national park with a monthly mortgage payments under £500 and no childcare costs. We have more left after the direct debits than the OP does on their massive wages. We have a great quality of life and feel very lucky.

BUT - our house will never be worth tons. Nor will our pension pots. OP you will probably be much better off when childcare ends, and presumably your salaries will continue to rise.

However in answer to your question, no I don't think it is worth it. I wouldn't do it anyway

MN is problematic & critical when women discussing women being well paid,it never ends well. At all. Op is being badly treated here
Mumsnet dp/dh is habitually described breezily as a six figure salary high stress go getter. He is never slated. Never told to check his privilege
Well paid do/dh apparently are reportedly v common on mn. If a woman discloses a high salary there is a slew of well worn tropes
Money isn’t everything
You must be missing out on family
Are the kids in day care 24/7

i get that the op is fortunate and describing an affluence that leaves most folk agog

What I will say,is in London that Money isn’t Phew Wow accommodation and private gated home. It’s a terrace in a nice area with a wheelie bin on the kerb. A million in London is not palatial, it will be very very nice though

Op will get more substantial accommodation on outskirts or in a UK regional centre , however the trade off is she leaves London and potentially her employment is impacted

The East End of London is an extremely expensive part of the country to live in so a 3 bed terraced house in a nice area close to Victoria Park say, will be costing you a fortune. Can't you move slightly further out into a nice town or village somewhere slightly cheaper (like Walthamstow or an Essex village)?
People have far worse problems than you in life hence the lack of sympathy. I'm sure you can come up with a solution to your current angst if you just think about it enough.

So you’re only allowed post on mumsnet if your situation is dire or precarious? So I can only post about my marriage if my spouse is threatening to kill me or post about my job if I’m getting sacked? Obviously not. Why is it wrong for someone who is wealthier than average to need advice. Newsflash - people have different levels of income.

OP, we earn less than you, had a modest 3-bed house in a good area in West London & sold up & moved to the country 18 years ago for a bigger home with a much bigger garden. Jobs haven't really changed much.

Train to London takes a little over an hour. Plenty of people who live near us commute (although obviously it's expensive). We don't need to as we mainly WFH.

We have put 2 kids through private school, have a holiday home abroad, decent but not flashy cars, cleaner, occasional gardener etc. We live a very comfortable life but still need to be careful with money.

HOWEVER, the house we sold in London is now worth massively more than the one we bought in the country. It's value has increased about 200% while our current home has increased in value by about 30%.

You must have a long-term plan, think ahead to retirement, maxing out your pensions etc and especially kids' schools. And don't buy a horrid new build.

The issue is you want a certain lifestyle and it’s not obtainable on your salary but it’s a life most can only dream of. We have a nice life but we will never have a second home with a few acres, servants or a yacht which is what DH parents had when he was a child as they were very wealthy. Lost it in the early nineties.

You made a mistake by putting figures down.

I would love out of London, particularly if you don't have to be in the office everyday (though plenty of people commute in every day, and I have done in the past!).

I would buy somewhere like these houses. After mortgage and travel fees, you'd have plenty to live on. The local primary schools are good, and the local schools are not brilliant but also not terrible. You'd also have enough money for private if you didn't like the local offerings.

Low Road, Little Stukeley, Cambridgeshire.
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-130709609.html

Sapley Road, Hartford
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-132621485.html

Offord Cluny, Cambridgeshire
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-126293303.html

London prices are mad. Cambridgeshire, Bedfordshire, Essex all offer far far more for your money, and are easily commutable to London once you accept the commute vs lifestyle trade off. Now WFH is so much more prevalent, the balance is well and truly tipped against living in London (imo, obviously. I've lived in both!).