100k+ salary, is it worth it?

[Goingtogetslated]

For the record…Not trying to be insensitive…

partner and I both earn approx 150k each. Working long and unpredictable hours with high levels of stress and responsibility.

Yet here we are living in a 3 bed terrace in the east end of london, a basic car, neither of us into high end expenses/dining out/clothes. We used to holiday a lot pre children, I guess would classify as our major expenditure in the past.

But is it actually worth it? A decent 4/5 bed house (with kerb appeal I admit) in the commuter belt seems to be coming in at 1.5 million minimum. Add the commuting costs/ extended nursery hours, paid help required theres barely anything left - relatively speaking.

Would we not be better off sacking it all in, moving to the countryside and earning enough to pay the bills?

We appear to be stuck in this middle ground where we earn too much to have any allowances from the state, contribute a lot to the government yet not enough for any real benefits in lifestyle

I would imagine that if this thread was actually true, you would know that if you earn over £100k then you are not eligible for 20% tax free childcare!

Yeah, move to the countryside and take lower paid jobs. At least it would show you that things like e.g. nursing also require you work just as hard as you appear to believe you do. Less well paid jobs do not necessarily mean you work less hard. You just get paid less. It's not about you being a woman. It's about you not understanding this.

I do think you have a point that a high earners income doesn’t buy the lifestyle you might expect for a given wage especially if paying for childcare. But… the way that you have made that point is so winey and out of touch that it has meant you’ve lost the point you were trying to make.

I do think there is something off with your budgeting Are you putting a lot into pensions? At your incomes you should for the tax benefits but that can feel like there is less today but you are building wealth for your future which buys you options and choices.

But even if you were contributing 20% each in pension you should still have £12k a month coming in which is more than enough to have a nice life and that is why you are getting a hard time. I’d you don’t like London, move to the commuter belt. You don’t need to go as high as £1.5m to get a nice house as many others have been telling you. Even with a very high mortgage of around &4k, nanny at £3.5k (assuming most expensive childcare which should be temporary) you’d hav loads left over.

You have a legitimate question re the ‘is it worth it?’ You might find that actually you’d have a better quality of life with one of you continuing the high pressured job and one dropping back a bit. Both of you working those sorts of jobs is going to be hard for family life regardless of the help you buy in.

Do what everyone else does who owns a house, pay down mortgage, wait a few years (or quite a few!) then move up the ladder if you can afford it. This is a privileged position to be in to most people. You seem impatient and entitled. Just because you are a high earner does not make you entitled to 1.5 million pound houses, you have to save etc!! But agree the house prices are ridiculous that’s why most people on a ‘average’ salary in the country can’t afford even a 3 bed terrace where you live right now.
Read the room.

Ehm it's quite clear isn't it. The mortgage she will get is nowhere near as cheap as yours.

What's the obsession with moving into progressively bigger, 'better' houses? Our household income is about £225k but we live in the house I bought after my divorce i.e., could afford it easily on 1 income (admittedly it's a 4 bed detached up north so we're not going to outgrow it).

I think most people just want a bit more space or off street parking, sounds like you have both of those 😆

The reason you can’t afford it is high house price growth, inherited wealth and global super-rich using London as a money laundering hub.

The answers are all in your post. You said, for example: Its not like I can top up my ISA and retire early.

But couldn’t you, in fact, pay £40k each into your pensions, and retire early…while the rest of us work till we are 70? Maximising the tax advantages of earning at the level you do? That’s where higher earners are helped.

You also say something like: “Buy a house for 750,000 (or was it 300,000) that’s paid off but fewer job opportunities.

Well, yes. That’s another opportunity you could take if you wanted. See more of your kids, both work part-time, from-home, do consultancy in London and have less stress.

I get that what you actually want is to be able to get the lifestyle you want in return for all your hard work.

I recommend looking at the FIRE movement and trying to detach yourself from the idea that you must buy into the 4 bed Victorian houses and holidays and designer shoes and nannies and work to pay for it all, and look using your considerable earning power to set up a better way of life for the future so you won’t always have to work this hard.

Ella Fitzgerald

Housing is expensive in London but on 300k combined you should be able to afford a decent house. I’m on 60k and live in Surrey (single income household) and I can buy a flat. If I return to North Wales where I grew up I’d be quite rich. But no, you really can’t expect to get any benefits. I don’t on 60k, child benefit went on last promotion and I can’t complain as I’m comfortable. Living in a rented flat right now. But comfortable

Sorry my reply regarding 20% childcare was in response to this comment from OP. If they or their partner earns over £100k then you aren't eligible for 20% childcare. I would expect the OP to know this, unless they are lying about their salary.........

a home worth about £1.3m in London commuter belt

I guess we bought well as our mortgage is only £1300 a month as we have a low interest rate and have extended significantly over the years with cash savings to increase it's value almost 3-fold.

I think the difference is clear 😆

A younger colleague has just bought a 450k flat which is 2k a month..

You are misreading and this is not the gotcha you think it is. She is saying that 20% would add up if she were entitled to it, but she isn’t.

You need to adjust your expectations of what is a "decent" house for you. Don't look at your parents generation, or friends who have received inheritances or parental help, for inspiration!

As a dual earming high income couple, you can probably afford what a single earning professional (doctor, accountant etc) family could have afforded before house price inflation. Which is crazy and frustrating, but there you go. And you could have a really nice life living in that house.

The single earning professional family buying from their salary now would be buying something much cheaper than you now.

So it's not thst you are getting no benefit for your high salary, just thst the goalposts have moved hugely due to house price inflation.

Think very very carefully before starting your kids in private school as that will tie you to your high earning jobs.

@Goingtogetslated i understand where you’re coming from. Similar family income but we only hit that point when kids were a bit older. For a long time couldn’t see the point of all the outgoings. Unless you’re in this world that income looks incredible: but in London, and with high tax rates, it gets swallowed up. We have a lovely “proper” house now but only (sadly) because of an inheritance received “early” due to the premature death of parents. We could not have afforded this house without that and if that had not happened we would be asking the same questions as you.

are your income likely to go up further? Things do get so much easier as DC get older.

Check out CR3. My local station Upper Warlingham is 30 mins direct into Victoria. The trains heaving (but you can always get a seat) so plenty commute, it’s the last station in zone 6 too. Good schools, lots of lovely walks, safe. You’d get a lot more than your money than central london

In short, your household income is amazing. Your lifestyle should also be amazing, but maybe you are going wrong somewhere in your choices. But you are sad because even on good wages you can't buy the house you want. You can't just be on good wages and assume it means you can buy any house. If you can't afford it you can't afford it.

But you clearly can afford an amazing life, hence why you're getting zero sympathy on here.

Yes exactly this. Really annoys me that people who are high earners are not allowed to post about their salaries. OP wasn't bragging...was simply asking whether working so hard for 100k+ salary is worth it when in real terms it doesn't stretch that far. Also clear from the title of thread what it's about so if it's so offensive don't look at yhr thread.

This.

I've no chance of earning anywhere close to that (LP who raised and still lives with disabled child who is now 18).

But I can see why working what is required for that salary and not feeling like you're reaping the benefits ,Akers you question if it's worth it.

We were heading for this so moved out of London with toddler when pregnant. Large house in south west decent state schools so no fees. Seems you have to spend so much in London just to have a normal decent lifestyle.

Different songs, same title!

Sounds great! Where are you?

Op where you are going wrong is living in London. If you look at some of the counties you may not have considered you could spend less on your property and childcare, commute in and have a less pressured lifestyle. Eg spend 800k on the same house you want. Lower mortgage etc etc

OP the house you posted is 4x larger than a normal family home and it is not 4x the price. Yet you think it should be cheaper relatively? Do you think rich people should pay less per square metre than poorer people?

I live in Cornwall and have a middling job, and most people here on middling jobs ( that's 20- 25ish k by the way outside of London ) cannot afford to buy a property. At all. Of any type. If they're lucky, they can get a shared ownership like myself, that is tiny, and the cost of living Vs wages means we literally never go on holiday. Go on op, try it. Then come back on here and tell us how you found it.

The responses are very typical of MN OP. You can't have money and still have issues

FWIW, I do understand where you're coming from. DH and I have a very similar level of income, but haven't experienced the same issues, as I suspect because our choices have been quite different to yours. For one, neither of our careers are particularly stressful (IT) and we both WFH full time, but we also chose to settle in the north (Yorkshire) because it affords us a far better lifestyle at a fraction of the costs of London. In your shoes, I'd definitely be considering making some big changes.

We don't earn as much as you maybe half but I am not seeing the benefits at all. Only in that our company pays for healthcare but even in private we are starting to see waiting lists and not be able to get GP appointments on our private system and our NHS GP is absolutely useless,

We have now got to the point where dh brother who is on UC although he might live in a smaller house it's still 3 bed he gets childcare pretty much paid for, his wife doesn't work as they have two young dc where we've always felt the pressure to work regardless as not eligible for any benefits and BIL inlaws help them with things like holidays so they get to go away when nearly all of our money goes on bills,
We have no family to help us.

I don't feel it's worth it at all BUT the one thing we are lucky with is that we can make international transfers. We are applying this June to move out of the U.K. because we feel there's better out there.