AIBU to get annoyed when medical professionals ask (with that patronising look) is this your first baby

[lardylumps]

Wtf, do they really think that I would worry less if it was my second. Sometimes I want to say "no, actually she is my fourth" just to see the smirk fall from their faces. Yes I now know more about babies but for gods sake if a baby is ill then it is ill.

Other mums do it too and it pisses me off, my sisters comments about my dd diet ?well she is your first, wait until your on your third then you will feel different?. No I wont, I still wont be feeding them crap.

I have been to the doctors far more with dd2 than I ever did wth dd1 !

sorry .. they're right

an ill baby to a first-time parent is simply not the same as an ill baby to parents of more children

So, is it your first! No yanbu. I remember having a 'word' with my hv once. She was insinuating that I was neurotic about my pfb and I told her in no uncertain terms, 'you may have seen a million new mums and it may be very boring to you, but this is my first and I would appreciate your support and not your sarcasm!'

No, it's twaddle

I took a concussed ds2 to hospital today and it didn't feel any different from the times I've taken ds1.

People like to take the opportunity to be patronising because they enjoy it, and because at some level they need to score cheap points.

lardtlumps. sorry but it does make a difference.

The more children you have the more experience you have and are therefore able to sort out what's worth worrying about.
This is particularly true regarding medical stuff, experience and only experience tells you whether something will pass or not and whether you should worry.

It has nothing to do with caring less.

Annoying as you find it it happens to be true!!

sorry, meant lardylumps, hello greeny, I see we concur again

I think people just like to give advice, and if they know it's your first then they feel that you won't be able to criticise the advice you give.

I feel when I am out with just dd2 that I need to shout 'I do have another'

Twiglett I can still see you behind that parapet. Ok you have more than one child thus more experience than I, but when you just had one did this piss you off????

I'm with Twiglett - experience counts. I was useless at assessing what my first born needed and took hysterical screaming to mean that she needed something from me - what it turned out to be was to be LEFT THE HELL ALONE so she could go to sleep. I was convinced she was ill for weeks when all she needed was me to piss off and stop fussing.

It didn't piss me off when I only had one. I knew I was absolutely clueless. I was more than happy to be given advice.

I've done this gag before on mumsnet but worth repeating I feel
First child swallows a pound and you rush them to A and E.
Second child swallows a pound and you wait for it to come out the other end
Third child swallows a pound and you take it off their pocket money

I think it does make a difference. There are so many things I thought were so seriously important with my first, but now with my third I don't give a shit think these things matter so much.

When my mum was in labour with my little sister she was in the hospital lift going up to the labour ward. She shouted to the midwife "The baby is coming!" the midwife replied with a smile "Your first is it, dearie?". "No, my fourth!" yelled my mum. They took her seriously after that

god yes, pissed me off royally

YANBU
What Greeny said.

rofl mog .. read that to DH he said "so true"

Love that joke, Mog

OK so I am one of those sad mummies that worry excessively and are neurotic. Thanks for all your help pointing this out to me, I am now going to hang myself.....

I still won?t feed any of my children shit like my sister does her's though, you can?t take that away from me....

you do worry as much but not over the same things

for example I'd let a rash,high fever, lethargy, swallowed coin, bumped head go with second whereas would be checking with DS .. you just get more experienced really

and I do feed dd more rubbish than I ever would have allowed ds to have and at an earlier stage .. ds never had crisps till he was nearly 2 .. dd was scoffing them at 1 etc

but that might just be me to be fair

I'm with you, lardy.

Even if it is true, and I reckon that depends on individual cases, they don't need to point it out/ imply that you're fussing. It would be more helpful for them to ask "Are you usually neurotic?"

Well I went so far the other way thinking that ds was fine and we were just being pfbish (aided and abetted by no small number of HCPs, I hasten to add) that I didn't make enough of a fuss and ds ended up having to be hospitalised...

it is always scary when a child is hospitalised .. my 2nd one was for pneumonia .. but I knew it was different to just a bug and could insist at that stage

if in doubt always go see a medic

As a doctor you ask this question because if a mother of more than one child is seriously concerned YOU HAD BETTER BE TOO. I have been doing paediatrics for 5 years and i tell my juniors how important this is. It's not that there is necessarily nothing wrong with the first child, but that there is almost definately not nothing wrong with the experienced mothers child. I realy think it is very important information for medics to have and i'm sorry if this offends anyone.

I don't think it's neurotic Lardy, just natural. You do worry more with your first one. By the second one you probably know when they really are sick, for example.
I am sure you wouldn't feed your second one crap but you can't help them picking up the odd thing from the older one

twig you are being contentious of late

up fopr a fight are ya

eh eh