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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think weed is making my DH angry?

83 replies

sunsetstar · 19/04/2023 21:16

DH has started smoking weed quite regularly and I just feel he has completely changed.
we are arguing regularly his anger is just insane he’s like a raging bull.

He never use to smoke it all and then it turned into an occasion thing. Then now it’s most evenings and on his days off. He doesn’t smoke in the day only the evening.

I had a family member come to stay for a couple of nights and he was just angry at me as he wasn’t able to smoke.

His excuse is that it’s the only thing that will help him relax on the evening. Which I can appreciate I’m not against cannabis but I don’t like the fact he is now relying on something.

He got scammed a couple of months ago trying to buy some as he wasn’t able to get any from his uncle.

He has a good job low stress but our home life can be stressful at times having a baby that doesn’t sleep great.

If I mention that it’s the weed that’s changing him he just goes off and one and tries to tell me that it’s not the weed. It’s me and the kids and all the stress.

OP posts:
Whatabouteverything · 19/04/2023 21:21

He's an addict. Awful stuff, don't understand why people think it's OK to have daily like this. It ruins lives, it's a psychotic and I wouldn't put up with it. He stops or he goes (in my view) but I also don't understand people who drink or smoke cigarettes daily either.

Mustlovetacos · 19/04/2023 21:42

My ex would smoke weed regularly and was always angry ,he used to say it relaxed him but I can't say I ever saw that side. He was violent and would stay up to all hours. I left him 4 years ago and the atmosphere in the house immediately changed when he was gone.

declutteringmymind · 19/04/2023 21:44

It's the weed.

BounceyB · 19/04/2023 21:46

I thought it was established that it altered brain chemistry. The misconception that it's harmless is such a fat lie.

TruthsAndALie · 19/04/2023 21:46

Addict in withdrawal. Seen it with weed users a lot.

Carsarelife · 19/04/2023 21:49

People try to say weed is harmless and should be legalised etc but it's the same as any other drug changes peoples brains so the anger is brought on by the weed for sure

Jojgg · 19/04/2023 21:49

I don’t get why anyone would stay with someone who has EVER taken ANY drug. they always say they will change and won’t do it again, yea sure! How can you ever trust them!? I couldn’t live like that!!!!

AHelpfulHand · 19/04/2023 21:53

A relative of mine has 10 joints a day, over £100 a week in weed.

he can’t live without it.

he thinks it does you no harm.

Anothnamechang · 19/04/2023 21:57

As someone who was raised by weed smokers and often bore the brunt of their rage I can almost certainly say it’s the weed.

I recall a time myself and my older sibling literally crept out of the house for school one day to avoid one of said rages. The result of that was her car screeching up beside us and a foul rant. We were mortified, all because she had no weed!

Phoebo · 19/04/2023 22:05

The people I've known that have been regular users have ended up having real problems with it. It's especially bad if you already have mental health problems

EternalSunshine19 · 19/04/2023 22:06

TruthsAndALie · 19/04/2023 21:46

Addict in withdrawal. Seen it with weed users a lot.

Absolutely this

Devonshiregal · 19/04/2023 22:14

It’s just such a load of block s that “weed doesn’t dooo anything”. Of course it bloody does, why would you smoke it otherwise?! So sick of this bullshit agenda being pushed left right and centre. Watch Netflix and every freaking film has weed smoking for no apparent reason - film about two old ladies? They randomly smoke a joint. Film about two men in a cycling holiday? Make them smoke a joint for no apparent reason. It’s constant and it absolutely does DO something!

You have to ultimatum. His brain is twisted from it and soon he’ll be telling you the sky’s green and the grass is blue. Weed turns people into gaslighting narcissists.

BrioLover · 19/04/2023 22:23

It's the weed. My DH goes through little stages of smoking weed for a bit - any longer than a few weekends and he starts getting aggy in the mornings and gets annoyed at little things, so now he just has a little bit for a day or two every few months.

Nimbostratus100 · 19/04/2023 22:25

why would you stay with someone colluding in child slavery, in contact with violent criminals, breaking the law, and destroying his brain?

Whammyyammy · 19/04/2023 22:26

Why do people always refer to it as smoking weed. Why not just say he takes drugs? Does it make it sound less awful?

ticktickticktickBOOM · 19/04/2023 22:31

Whammyyammy · 19/04/2023 22:26

Why do people always refer to it as smoking weed. Why not just say he takes drugs? Does it make it sound less awful?

Do you also refer to people smoking as drug users, and people having a glass of wine? They are both also mind altering, addictive, life threatening and socially disruptive drugs.

SunshineGeorgie · 19/04/2023 22:38

He's a drug addict

You have a child....someone will report you

I'd jump now before it reaches that stage

Laughloveloneliness · 19/04/2023 22:45

It is the weed. The strains around now are lethal and wreck peoples mental health. Most young men around me smoke it, its everywhere. The problem is you have people my age saying its fine and never did us any harm but the stuff back then, even 15-20 years ago is nothing compared to now. It's never just a once a week habit either it soon becomes everyday. I dont know what to suggest OP because he wont stop smoking it. You have to decide whether you will put up with it or not.

SunshineGeorgie · 19/04/2023 22:46

Also,sorry to say, but you will all smell of it

FabFitFifties · 19/04/2023 22:46

Do not let your child grow up exposed to his behaviours and habit OP. He will get worse if he doesn't stop. Paranoia is next.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/04/2023 22:48

Your standards are shockingly low.

TomatoSandwiches · 19/04/2023 22:50

Get your children away from this man, he will just get worse and worse.

Greenfairydust · 19/04/2023 22:51

He has become addicted to it.

I would tell him that he sort himself out and detox or you will leave.

This is not an environment for your child.

There are a lot of people in complete denial when it comes to weed who try to say that it is a perfectly harmless pastime and has no negative impact on mental health and behaviour. It absolutely does.

Not to mention that it is a waste of money and buying that stuff supports the activities of criminal gangs.

Jellyx · 19/04/2023 22:51

It's not the weed itself making him angry - it's the addiction aspect. He definitely needs help and you're right to have boundaries in place.

I'm concerned his time, attention and finances are focused on weed rather than his partner and young child.

Mochinated · 19/04/2023 22:59

Protect your DC not this adult human who is making shitty choices and treating you with disrespect

Your DC are the most important people here and they don't even have a say in the situation

You are their protector, get them out of there.