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Original poster

To think weed is making my DH angry?

83 replies

sunsetstar · 19/04/2023 21:16

DH has started smoking weed quite regularly and I just feel he has completely changed.
we are arguing regularly his anger is just insane he’s like a raging bull.

He never use to smoke it all and then it turned into an occasion thing. Then now it’s most evenings and on his days off. He doesn’t smoke in the day only the evening.

I had a family member come to stay for a couple of nights and he was just angry at me as he wasn’t able to smoke.

His excuse is that it’s the only thing that will help him relax on the evening. Which I can appreciate I’m not against cannabis but I don’t like the fact he is now relying on something.

He got scammed a couple of months ago trying to buy some as he wasn’t able to get any from his uncle.

He has a good job low stress but our home life can be stressful at times having a baby that doesn’t sleep great.

If I mention that it’s the weed that’s changing him he just goes off and one and tries to tell me that it’s not the weed. It’s me and the kids and all the stress.

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 19/04/2023 23:15

He is addicted and anger is withdrawal
His behaviour will get worse, paranoia and full blown psychosis is common

Annoyingwurringnoise · 19/04/2023 23:15

He’s addicted. People scoff when you say cannabis is addictive but it is, I was addicted to it. It didn’t make me angry but it really messed with my head. He’s an addict OP, sorry. It’s really bloody hard to get off as well. I’ve been clean for 4.5 years and my life and mental health have been so much better since.

SunshineGeorgie · 19/04/2023 23:18

How much is this costing you a week op?

user1497207191 · 19/04/2023 23:20

Time to ditch him.

Pixiedust1234 · 19/04/2023 23:24

He has a good job low stress but our home life can be stressful at times having a baby that doesn’t sleep great.

You have a baby so why is he wasting money on an addictive substance? Why is he getting stoned instead of being a hands on parent? It sounds like he's checked out of married life, checked out of parenthood. Whats next, checking out of earning a living to pay the bills?

Its time for a serious talk. He either starts behaving like an adult or leaves. Maybe his uncle will let him kip on his sofa seeing as how he is facilitating the addiction.

EconomyClassRockstar · 19/04/2023 23:24

Tell him to get edibles. I've never met a person get angry on edibles. Fall asleep and be as boring as shit? Absolutely.

It's legal where I live before anyone accuses me of pushing child slavery.

Thepossibility · 19/04/2023 23:25

Heaps of my family smoke weed and they all get agitated when they haven't had a smoke. They would deny this but it's absolutely the case.
One of my family members has also developed some major mental health issues (traits of paranoia and schizophrenia) due to long term weed smoking.

greenlychee · 19/04/2023 23:29

Just wanted to echo everyone else's comments to say it's not harmless and the knock on effects for everyone are so horrid. First hand experience here since my own childhood. Time to call and end to it.

BeetleBailey · 19/04/2023 23:32

I used to work with a guy in probably his mid thirties. He had smoked weed since his teens on a daily basis

Anybody that thinks weed doesn't fuck you up and have long lasting effects should meet him

FettleOfKish · 19/04/2023 23:47

Where we live (offshore so different laws) there's a big push by some to legalise cannabis, to turn us into the next Amsterdam blah blah.

I have honestly never met a habitual weed user that's not paranoid and angry to a greater or lesser degree. The point is repeatedly proved whenever anyone questions their push to legalise on social media.

Get rid of him OP, and live a calmer and happier life without.

StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar · 19/04/2023 23:55

Whammyyammy · 19/04/2023 22:26

Why do people always refer to it as smoking weed. Why not just say he takes drugs? Does it make it sound less awful?

So if you have a glass of wine every now and then are you also a 'drug taker'?

Babsexxx · 20/04/2023 06:54

I have no idea why weed usage is soo badly downplayed with it’s usage side effects a friend of mine had this problem with her ex and it turnt really bad (physical) it also escalated to the point he couldn’t function without it and his behaviour was absolutely appalling!

I would start the ultimatum that it’s your family or the weed it cannot be both!

ReliantRobyn · 20/04/2023 07:01

He's a drug addict and needs to seek external help.

Maireas · 20/04/2023 07:09

BounceyB · 19/04/2023 21:46

I thought it was established that it altered brain chemistry. The misconception that it's harmless is such a fat lie.

This x 1,000. It is not harmless at all.

TruthsAndALie · 20/04/2023 09:22

EconomyClassRockstar · 19/04/2023 23:24

Tell him to get edibles. I've never met a person get angry on edibles. Fall asleep and be as boring as shit? Absolutely.

It's legal where I live before anyone accuses me of pushing child slavery.

Think you’re missing the point. Eating or smoking it is irrelevant - it’s the withdrawal that makes people angry.

Also as someone said upthread, strength of it is a real problem nowadays. The only good thing I’d say about weed shops in places like California is it has a strength grading so at least people know what they’re having. Buying super skunk or something in the UK is likely multiple times more potent than it was 10-20 years ago.

Laughloveloneliness · 20/04/2023 09:29

@TruthsAndALie It is irrelevant with regards to the dependency but it's sad to say it would be a better option. Realistically he won't stop, it takes a lot of effort, so at least with edibles it won't stink. Because it absolutely stinks, it's potent these days. I smell it everywhere. I can point out the houses in my lovely area that have grows going on. Hate the stuff.

gamerchick · 20/04/2023 09:39

Tell him it's you or the dope. You and your bairn will be smelling of the stuff OP. It's horrible potent stuff that clings.

He's a loser, he'll be a loser while he's smoking the stuff. Just get him away from you.

Your thread will fill up with derailment about alcohol compared to weed like, due to the amount of drug users on Mumsnet like and how it doesn't do them any harm.

Nimbostratus100 · 20/04/2023 09:41

EconomyClassRockstar · 19/04/2023 23:24

Tell him to get edibles. I've never met a person get angry on edibles. Fall asleep and be as boring as shit? Absolutely.

It's legal where I live before anyone accuses me of pushing child slavery.

deny it all you like, you are colluding with child slavery, and if you genuinely believe you are not, then you are completely deluded, and have fallen for their big marketing con

CalistoNoSolo · 20/04/2023 09:48

I couldn't be involved with someone who thinks smoking weed around a child is acceptable. Your house must reek of it, and your poor baby. Chances are someone will report you to SS (I would if there was a baby living with a weed smoker) so you better start getting your exit plan in order.

BMW6 · 20/04/2023 09:52

Also as someone said upthread, strength of it is a real problem nowadays. The only good thing I’d say about weed shops in places like California is it has a strength grading so at least people know what they’re having. Buying super skunk or something in the UK is likely multiple times more potent than it was 10-20 years ago.

This. DH (now mid 60's) used to smoke weed in his youth. He started smoking now and then when we first got together back in 2004 and he said it was far far stronger, like comparing Strongbow to Gognac. He got quite paranoid on it so quit entirely.

Namechange58665 · 20/04/2023 09:54

StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar · 19/04/2023 23:55

So if you have a glass of wine every now and then are you also a 'drug taker'?

Show quote history

Yes, it’s just that it’s a socially acceptable one. As is sugar and caffeine. Not condoning smoking weed but the stigma around 1 person’s drug of choice vs another makes me feel sad.

CalistoNoSolo · 20/04/2023 09:59

BMW6 · 20/04/2023 09:52

Also as someone said upthread, strength of it is a real problem nowadays. The only good thing I’d say about weed shops in places like California is it has a strength grading so at least people know what they’re having. Buying super skunk or something in the UK is likely multiple times more potent than it was 10-20 years ago.

This. DH (now mid 60's) used to smoke weed in his youth. He started smoking now and then when we first got together back in 2004 and he said it was far far stronger, like comparing Strongbow to Gognac. He got quite paranoid on it so quit entirely.

I've had this exact convo with my DP (similar age to yours). It was resin when I was a teen, various grades and strengths but nothing like as strong (or as vile smelling) as modern day weed..

Divorcedalongtime · 20/04/2023 10:01

Addict… this is how it started with my kids dad, he wasn’t so much angry as he. Pet to himself and was unhappy.

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 20/04/2023 10:05

It would be me and my child, or the weed quite frankly.

Do you want your kid growing up in this environment? Would you be happy if they had a future partner like your husband?

Plus, the smell is horrible. It seeps into everything, whether you think you can smell it or not. Even if he smokes it outside.

Toddlerteaplease · 20/04/2023 10:14

Jojgg · 19/04/2023 21:49

I don’t get why anyone would stay with someone who has EVER taken ANY drug. they always say they will change and won’t do it again, yea sure! How can you ever trust them!? I couldn’t live like that!!!!

Same here.