To think weed is making my DH angry?

[sunsetstar]

DH has started smoking weed quite regularly and I just feel he has completely changed.
we are arguing regularly his anger is just insane he’s like a raging bull.

He never use to smoke it all and then it turned into an occasion thing. Then now it’s most evenings and on his days off. He doesn’t smoke in the day only the evening.

I had a family member come to stay for a couple of nights and he was just angry at me as he wasn’t able to smoke.

His excuse is that it’s the only thing that will help him relax on the evening. Which I can appreciate I’m not against cannabis but I don’t like the fact he is now relying on something.

He got scammed a couple of months ago trying to buy some as he wasn’t able to get any from his uncle.

He has a good job low stress but our home life can be stressful at times having a baby that doesn’t sleep great.

If I mention that it’s the weed that’s changing him he just goes off and one and tries to tell me that it’s not the weed. It’s me and the kids and all the stress.

Yes for sure it's the weed. My partner smoked it for years before we met. Swore it wasn't addictive, just helped him chill out, it was amazing basically.

It was fine for a while but eventually I realised the issues it caused. It 100% made him a more angry person. He would be pissed off at not being able to smoke. It would cause arguments when I said he couldn't do it because it wasn't my fault he didn't leave enough time to roll and go outside before we had to leave the house. He would get more arsey the longer it had been since he last smoked. Then gradually he just seemed to get more and more angry but as you said, blamed it on "life".

It got to the point that I told him to fucking stop or I would leave. He did. He's still grumpy now and again but absolutely nothing like before.

So yep, it's the weed.

Some women must be just that desperate it’s sad!

I lived with a weed addict for years (took me ages to get the courage to leave). It's vile stuff and long term daily use certainly has a negative affect on your brain and that's putting it mildly. When he couldn't afford it/couldn't get it his rage was off the scale. I was petrified in my own home, he once tried to strangle me (im absolutely fine now). Now I'm not saying this will happen with you but you really need to think about leaving if he's not going to stop smoking. I really feel for you it's a horrible situation to be in.

The reason he can't relax without weed is because he has become addicted to the weed!

This "relaxed" feeling is what he had all the time before he started smoking the stuff!

He needs to give it up completely. If this was my OH then it would be a choice of me or the weed.

@Aquamarine1029 Your standards are shockingly low. what a spectacularly smug and unhelpful comment. Op is asking for help, not kicks in the head.

I agree with others who say it is the weed! I have seen it a lot with people, I think what’s out now is worse than what used to be around! It sounds like a crutch for him but a very dangerous one as it likely will lead to worse mental health down the line. I would second giving an ultimatum you deserve better and you will all stink of weed!

When I smoked weed it made me insanely paranoid, which did affect my temper, yes.

Weed is as pernicious as any other drug (I include algohol in that). It was recently named as a factor in the torture and murder of baby Finley Boden and idiots were still posting angrily on Reddit saying weed is mellow and harmless and weed smokers shouldn't be demonised/

Weed - awful
Smoking - awful
The smell of people smoking weed - even worse

Smoking itself is bad enough, but smoking drugs is just scummy.
I think you should set your sights higher

It's not smug, it's accurate. The op needs to get off her arse, stop living in denial, and protect her kids from this drug addled loser who has serious anger management issues.

Absolutely this

It’s the weed, he’s an addict.

This would be a deal breaker for me, it would be ultimatum time - either the weed goes or you will.

It the behaviour of an addict to act aggressively, angrily with no sense of care or responsibility.

I am pro legalisation of cannabis but in my mind it is the same as any drug which can impact mood eg alcohol - if he was drinking alcohol every night and all day when not in work he would moat likely be displaying problematic behaviour - some people would not but a good proportion of people would - especially over time imo.

I disagree... .

1st weed never smoked was Zambian grass in 1974. I never experienced anything as strong for years. Back then it was mainly Lebanese resin in the UK.....that was pretty strong too. I travelled a fair bit around Asia / North Africa and experienced a bit of the old style hippy life. Very high quality Thai grass / Nepali / Indian / Morrocan hash was very easily available (like buying a bottle of water) and ferociously strong, even by today's standards. Also sampled some real ganja in the Carribean. Same story.

In the mid 80s there used to be a lot of pakistani black hash....in the UK. that was also very strong and very readily available (thanks to Howard Marks). I didnt really like it as it was very soporiphic, and really was too strong.

Gradually the high quality hashish that you used to see in the UK was replaced by very poor quality morocan stuff that was truly aweful. About the same time, various strains of farmed grass came in, they were certainly strong.

I very rarely smoke now.... and I really don't like the "skunk" type grass. However, I don't think it's any stronger than some of the stuff I had in the 70s. To me the whole quality of the stuff is different. It really does make me very paranoid and edgy. I dont enjoy the effect at all.

....actually, thinking about it, the Zambian grass was in 1973....50 years ago.

Certainly wouldnt live with someone who smoked all the time though, despite my history!!

Weed = awful
Alcohol = awful

That's way before my time. No idea what t was, I wasn't that into it and quite quickly ditched thd people who were because they were all such wasters. But the stuff I tried a few times was definitely resin and definitely mild.

Everything on moderation IMO. I used to love vaping weed occasionally as it really helps my ADHD - nothing else switches my racing mins off the same way. Sadly I can't do it nowadays as I get drug tested at work.

THIS

Leave. he's a drug addict. Weed is a very powerful drug, particularly newer varieties, and you are in for a very difficult road trying to raise a child while living with a drug addict. My sister left her husband over weed. Completely the right thing, he's still a mess, very nasty and not at all well physically or mentally.

Please also bear in mind the effects of the second-hand smoke on you and your baby. Still contains THCs which is the psychoactive element.

All this

This is so grim. You have a baby and he’s out meeting strangers to buy drugs, and getting angry with you if he can’t smoke them as much as he wants?

This is not going to end well. He’s showing you that you and your baby are certainly not the priorities in his life. Time to tell him straight.

@MeridianB !!!!!

So glad I have read some.of these responses! I feel like weed is always minimised, my husband smoked it and gradually built it up, lied about money and gambled, we have children and I always felt like I was hard on him by making him go out of the house and down to the park if he wanted any as I hated it and would not have it around my children. His wage was never "correct' and it was probably due to the habit, we have now split and because j felt sorry for him lent him money for everyday things, its only in the last week that me and his mum have realised that this isnt a small addiction as dramatic as it sounds his habit js abit like a crackheads, he is sooo unnatractively broke, so skint, struggles to pay back what i foolishly lent to him. I was so sad at the break up but now I am so glad I finally have clarity and I cannot help somebody that wont help themselves. Weed is not minor it is actually life destructing. .