To think weed is making my DH angry?

[sunsetstar]

DH has started smoking weed quite regularly and I just feel he has completely changed.
we are arguing regularly his anger is just insane he’s like a raging bull.

He never use to smoke it all and then it turned into an occasion thing. Then now it’s most evenings and on his days off. He doesn’t smoke in the day only the evening.

I had a family member come to stay for a couple of nights and he was just angry at me as he wasn’t able to smoke.

His excuse is that it’s the only thing that will help him relax on the evening. Which I can appreciate I’m not against cannabis but I don’t like the fact he is now relying on something.

He got scammed a couple of months ago trying to buy some as he wasn’t able to get any from his uncle.

He has a good job low stress but our home life can be stressful at times having a baby that doesn’t sleep great.

If I mention that it’s the weed that’s changing him he just goes off and one and tries to tell me that it’s not the weed. It’s me and the kids and all the stress.

Whatever effect the drug has, the withdrawal or absence of the drug is the opposite. So with weed, the drug makes them relaxed, but not having it makes them more stressed. That's how an addiction takes hold, because what used to be the effect, becomes a necessity to stop the side effect of not having the drug. I'm not a big fan of weed, I think it's harms are minimised. I do think it should be legal medically and I do think alcohol is very problematic, but for the same reason. Personally I used to partake in those and was just generally more stressed and anxious even as a weekend user. So am now teetotal and don't touch weed. Once you realise that using something to relax, then creates more stress, it doesn't make sense to continue doing that. It's not the substance so much as the person, and I realised that for me being a naturally stressy anxious person meant I couldn't dabble with weed or alcohol at all

Unfortunately yes. It’s such a common theme.
Often people who smoke weed are very moody, and they’re usually the last person to realise it.

I enjoyed my time as a bit of a dope smoking hippy. There is no doubt that I look back on that phase of my life with affection......bumming around the world on a gap year is almost mainstream now, but back then it was quite unusual and a bit alternative.

However....I had no responsibilities, and had completed my education so I could drop out, and then drop back in. My days of travelling in a dope fueled haze were actually quite productive in many ways.

However, dropping back in wasn't as easy as I thought, and as I accumulated responsibilities i found life harder and harder. I looked back on my carefree days with nostalgia. I am almost embarrassed to say this now, but I actually thought my problems stemmed from the fact that I could no longer smoke as much dope. I was absolutely 100% convinced that if only I could find a way to organise my life so that I could work and find a way to smoke more dope, then all would be well. The problem was that the stupid constraints of the job prevented this.

This is what addiction looks like from the inside. You can guess my age from earlier posts (Zambian grass in 1973). Although I had fun, ultimately I lost years of my life to drugs. The ost important thing about drugs is that, when you're stoned, you are not interacting / communicating with people, and so you are not growing up. Addicts will tell you that taking drugs is a social experience. This is utter nonsense...people take drugs to disappear into their own heads.

Ultimately.....i have no regrets because they are pointless. I have achieved things in my life that amaze people, I have been successful by many criteria. However, since I realised the truth about addiction, I have struggled....particularly with depression, social isolation. These were the reasons that a drug taking lifestyle was attractive to me in the first place. It was fun, i didn't hit rock bottom etc., but basically it is now crystal clear to me that it was drug taking that prevented my from finding a way to deal with these issues.

Do not commit yourself to a drug taker under any circumstances. Almost by definition....habitual drug users cannot maintain emotional relationships.

Very interesting posts, @Sceptic1234 - have you thought about writing about your experiences?.

Think I just did!!

Very insightful post @Sceptic1234, thank you

If you pretend you believe him, then it’s you and the kids making him angry and you should ask him to leave.

True 😊! But you know what I mean!