To think other children's snacks are irresponsible?

[cowgirljoey]

The official policy at DS's school (Year 2) is for them to bring a fruit or veg snack from home for break time. This seemed to be what happened when DS was in reception and Year 1, but over time DS tells me that his friends are regularly bringing crisps, chocolate bars and sweets in for their snack(s) and that he is one of the only ones who has fruit/veg each time.

Totally get that this needs fact-checking (I have a few reasons to think is is accurate), but if it is AIBU to think this is something I should contact school about? I don't think it's fair on the kids to be having junk food as a snack, and I've observed myself that lots of them eat barely any of their school lunch, suggesting that they aren't v. hungry at this point (understandable if they've had choc/crisps an hour beforehand). I think that parent are being irresponsible to be giving chocolate as a daily morning snack, but as I have no control over this, AIBU to think that school should be enforcing the fruit/veg policy?

I have a child with additional needs and he wouldn't eat fruit unless he was able to eat it straight after it being cut, due to the temperature and texture change. I'd rather give my child something I know they would definitely eat, than nothing at all.

You don't know the ins and outs of the other children's lives, so leave it that way.

Be thankful your child is happy to eat the fruit and or veg and keep it moving.

You’re also setting up an eating pattern that may continue into adulthood
The article also talks about obesity in children - which is also linked with diabetes.

« Obesity is also no longer a condition that just affects older people, although the likelihood does increase with age, and increasing numbers of young people have been diagnosed with obesity.
Data from Public Health England suggests that nearly a third (31.2%) of children aged 2 to 15 years old are obese. »

I have an abundance of fruit and snacking veg in my house and dc love it. They are however reasonably fussy about the condition of said fruit which does not travel well in school bags and unrefrigerated lunch boxes so they tend not to take very much for those few hours as it gets bashed, warm, mushy, bruised, affects other food items therefore school food is likely they most junky of the day but it's made up for at other times.

Justification? That some children need high calorie food as they struggle to put on weight - but you wouldn’t know that because of hidden disabilities and the fact that it’s none of your business. My child had a snack box in the classroom in Primary, containing chocolate and crisps that she had alongside fruit and veg. The other children understood that different children have different needs and didn’t bat an eyelid.

my example above wouldn’t apply to many but I suspect your child is exaggerating exactly how many children aren’t following policy.

I think this must be confusing for a child and makes me seem unfair by following the policy when others are ignoring it. I think it sends an odd message to the children about what rules mean

So a pretty accurate representation of life in general then. Instead of focusing on the "rule", explain why you think its best to have veg and fruit.

No, we don’t. We’re not the morality police and we all have a duty to mind our own bloody business and our own children. Professionals go through proper channels to help and support parents of children at risk of being overweight or obese. Schools also do a lot to educate about healthy eating including sending leaflets home etc. this is not YOUR job. You seem very controlling and too fixated on other peoples lives. You give your kid veg for a snack, pat on the back for you. Many kids can eat a variety of foods including crisps and chocolate in a day but eat fruit and veg at home and are just fine. Banning junk foods has been shown to create unhealthy relationships with food later on in adult life. Mind your own business.

I agree with you entirely. I often wonder (and don't get wonder confused with giving a shit, because I don't), why some parents give an excessive amount of crap to their kids to eat, I suppose it's often more convenient, maybe they give in to demands too easily, or they don't give a damn about overall health. If your read the ingredients lists on a lot of this stuff, it sure doesn't read like a treat to me. Young children in particular aren't informed enough about diet to make sensible choices, they eat what they are given, and it is the responsibility of parents to follow rules set by the school.

And like the OP I would also be hacked off if my child was then thinking they were hard done by as they have something healthy and Chardonnay has a KitKat and some Walkers. Totally not fair. No, I wouldn't speak to the school about it, but it would still annoy me. Get rid of the policy if you aren't going to live by the values you set.

As I say, EXCESSIVE amounts of crap I'm talking about, not just a treat here and there.

As a teacher the snacks children have and how they try new foods at lunch has a huge influence on their learning and development.
Children with painful and stressful dental interventions for rotting teeth, aged 4/5, are a direct result of parents choices of food, drink and hygiene habits. This is so sad and a huge problem in this country.
Childhood obesity is just the tip of the iceberg. When your child is growing you are building a person. Health problems for the future can be avoided or risks lessened by a varied diet. Not providing a balanced range of foods is neglect. If you don’t provide at least 5 fruit and veg a day they cannot possibly eat them.
Children who aren’t able or willing to feed themselves independently and/ or eat well at lunch often struggle in the afternoons with concentration, energy and mood.
Please think about the long term consequences of the easy options…
give your children a great start in life with a fun, balanced range of foods Le

How many kids do you have in each year group that tick all the negative boxes?

Enough children and families each year that it is worrying.
especially children having to have teeth removed in hospital under general anaesthetic… imagine the stress and pain of that for a little child

I’m so shocked by the comments on here! I’m a primary school teacher and previously worked at was a healthy eating school (which was in an area of high deprivation and poverty). Unfortunately some parents DO need reminding or teaching what is meant by HEALTHY. You wouldn’t believe what some parents and children believe is okay to have for breakfast and lunch. The amount of packed lunches that were left over McDs, multiple bars of chocolate, crisps Etc. With the price of fruit, veg and bread being what it is, there’s really no excuse. Schools are places for children to learn and grow… surely one of the most important things in life is being healthy. Children observe and learn from SO young. Contacting the school is a good idea! I don’t know what’s so unreasonable about replacing a chocolate bar with an apple… surely cheaper too!? YANBU

I really hope you're joking. Someone working in a school with high levels of poverty and deprivation should absolutely understand the factors not excuses that lead to certain choices.

I generally respond to this sort of assertion with “how odd, the rules are very strict on this. Would you like me to write to form teacher/head to ask if they’ve changed the rules and you can have candy floss every day?”
the answer is usually to stall me

Having been on duty for KS1 at break...some parents send in stuff such as fruit winders or similar fruit disguised as sweets. Things with that annoying bear on (fruit yo-yos?). Chocolate seems to make an appearance via rice cakes. Toddler snacks made with vegetables in the form of crisps are also a popular "cheat". Organix Carrot puffs look like Wotsits. They also make bars of things. Suddenly the playground is full of "sweets" and "crisps". Maybe buy him some as a treat he can have for break sometimes?

This isn't ruling out that some kids seem to hope the teacher won't see a tub of pringles or a KitKat and sometimes it will be ignored but most schools I've worked in would be calling or writing home if it kept happening.

Is suggest that your son is probably lying.
snacks are policed and kids aren’t allowed to just eat anything at breaks.
mmaybe he’s seen a kid with a medical condition having a snack at break and doesn’t realise that they are not subject to the rules.
for example my daughter has a condition that means occasionally she ‘NEEDS’ sugar/carbs…. So while we usually give her fruit juice or dextrose tablets, I have friends who treat the same condition with sweets or a chocolate bar.
Either way though I’d keep my nose out, you will look very judgemental if you complain and it’s nots true, or the kid he’s seen does have health reasons.

If you and your child are happy with what he takes for snack time that’s all you need to worry about.

Re the people stating a pkt of crisps is cheaper than an apple or banana - we all know that’s bollox 🙄

“Rubbish snacks are cheaper than healthy snacks” seems to be the go to phrase for the uneducated at the moment. Take no notice.

It doesn’t sound like you would change what you give your child so what does it matter? Tell you child if that if others are having different snacks, they’re not following the school rules, but that you feel school rules should be followed. I’m sure this isn’t the first times he’s seen children breaking rules at school.

Are you going to call the school every time your child tells you someone broke a rule without being caught so you can ‘clarify the rules’? I wouldn’t recommend it. Just concentrate on your own child.

Firstly, all those people saying school shouldn’t be policing what kids eat - keep their noses out. Honestly, schools have to teach about healthy eating. They are not allowed by the government to sell crisps on site. Some parents have incredibly overweight children who do no exercise.
And in addition schools get bashed regularly for not teaching about life skills such as mortgages or how to vote. Some parents expect schools to deliver all aspects of a curriculum except when it calls out unhealthy eating. Make a choice. Parent your kids properly and stop complaining about school or actually listen to the school. They will both have the same outcome.
with regard to crisps and chocolate for a snack. If you are a parent and your child comes home every day and says that you are too strict because every other child eats crap for break and lunch then this causes issues within the relationship even if you are doing the right thing. It’s a fine line between giving in and doing what’s right for the health of your child.

I agree about the confusing rule thing. If it was a uniform issue and all the others were wearing non regulation stuff when your kids were sticking to the rules I have the same thoughts tbh.

However, the school are either aware and don't care, or just don't care so I'd suggest you give your DC whatever it is you'd like them to eat and not worry about the others or the policy.
Or change schools. Raising it as an issue with school will bring you trouble, I guarantee.

I remember a post a while back from a mum saying she’d been whatsapped out of the blue by another mum telling her to stop sending her child in with Pringles!
You’re not her are you??

Well. My elder 2 had a club biscuit for their break every day for about 8 years.
My younger one had an orange and banana cos her school banned biscuits.
Literally cannot see the issue. Except the Club biscuit sometimes got nicked!

When I was a kid my my mum wrote in to excuse me from the "fruit/veg only" rule as I was underweight and needed the calories from the cheese etc. I brought in. Think they eventually compromised with cereal bars.

It’s nothing to do with morality. It’s to do with health!

Imagine for one second that there might be a child who eats maybe 3-4 safe foods and that their parent has agonised over this but has agreed with the school that their child can eat these foods at both snack time and in their lunchbox. Are you really going to cause further distress and pain to this family by pointing out their parental failings and how, in your own words, irresponsible they are?

As you seem so concerned about other people’s welfare then hopefully you’ll have a little more compassion.

Just to flag that as a child I was rarely allowed unhealthy snacks. I am fat as an adult, I think partly because as a result I grew to see certain foods as "bad" (or junk) and "good" and did not learn to self regulate.

As a result with my now 8 year old I don't restrict stuff- he's got basically unlimited access to chocolate and crisps alongside fruit, veggies, rice cakes etc. With the result that he is totally unbothered by said chocolate and crisps. They're just food to him, not a treat. If I put out a bowl of chocolate buttons he may have one or two or he may not have any - he doesn't feel the need to scoff the lot down because he knows if he feels like having one tomorrow he can.

He's a healthy weight with perfect teeth.