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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he actually enjoys trying to make me feel jealous?

82 replies

FloJao · 18/04/2023 20:28

I have been with my boyfriend for a few years. We don’t live together. He is a lot older than me but throughout our relationship he has always accused me of being jealous.

A new next door neighbour has recently moved in next door to his house. I asked him what he was doing today and he replied (sorry for the graphic language) that he was ‘going to lick the minge of the next door neighbour’. When I asked him if he’d even met her he went on to add that she was ‘a little blonde bird’ and then said he could feel me getting jealous.

I mean this isn’t normal behaviour is it? Throughout our relationship he has made me feel like I’m acting irrationally whenever I raised concerns.

OP posts:
Helpmymenopausalfanny · 18/04/2023 20:28

🤢🤢🤢🤢

Cherrysoup · 18/04/2023 20:29

Eugh, he sounds foul. Why are you with such a Prince charming?

pictoosh · 18/04/2023 20:30

Uh huh

foxlover47 · 18/04/2023 20:31

Please OP , ask yourself why he feels it is ok to even say this to you , and then realise you're far better alone than being with a complete bellend like him

Ollifer · 18/04/2023 20:31

He sounds like jay from the Inbetweeners. Gross !

StripeyDeckchair · 18/04/2023 20:32

What are you doing with someone who is so nasty?

bossybloss · 18/04/2023 20:33

Walk away!!

Merangutan · 18/04/2023 20:34

I would dump him on the spot for that offence alone. That’s beyond appalling. That’s not even ‘trying to make you jealous.’ That’s being downright disrespectful and revolting. Get rid of him!!! What are you doing with this absolute teenage boy of a man?!

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 18/04/2023 20:34

Gross, make him an ex

BranchGold · 18/04/2023 20:35

Honestly op, I wonder about people who spend so much time analysing the behaviour of those they choose to have close in their life.

Why don’t you give more thought to why you choose this man to be your partner? And if that’s a good thing for you?

Unananana · 18/04/2023 20:35

That is disgusting. Why would you be jealous?

Sounds like he may be sort of negging you. He's insecure as he is with someone much younger and wants you to validate him.

Is that what you want for the rest of your life?

Mamapiggywig · 18/04/2023 20:36

Yep. Time to go.

Merangutan · 18/04/2023 20:36

How old is he, btw? Because I agree with @Ollifer that he sounds like Jay from the Inbetweeners. I think even 21 would be too old for this fucking nonsense.

tryandtryagain · 18/04/2023 20:37

I'd rather be single forever than be with a man like that.

Arightoldcarryabag · 18/04/2023 20:39

Been together a few years? He's a lot older? He's going to lick the minge of the blonde bird next door?

Yeah, I have never advocated ending a relationship where there is not clear and obvious abuse, but I don't think I'd take too much convincing to tell you to leave this absolute loser.

Londontoderby · 18/04/2023 20:40

Im sorry……what!
Can’t believe he said that, out loud…to another person.

Honestly, just don’t bother with this one, dump him!

itsnotyourfence · 18/04/2023 20:41

Yabu to be with such a vile prick

Original poster
FloJao · 18/04/2023 20:42

I don’t know. I have been for counselling (on my own) to work through why I appear to have an attachment to him. We got together at the time of the death of one of my parents and my therapist thinks that I might have formed some attachment at that time and am associating the relationship with the loss of that makes sense.

He is in his 50s.

OP posts:
DedicatedFollowerOfFashion84 · 18/04/2023 20:43

Jesus. How vulgar. Whether or not he’s trying to make you jealous would be secondary to the fact that he speaks about women so crassly. I couldn’t put up with a man who was so gross and immature.

youhavenoshameonyourface · 18/04/2023 20:44

My ex started saying things like this after we'd been together a couple of years. I believe he thought it would make me try harder to impress him. It didn't. At first I was hurt, then disgusted, then livid and then I left him. The cycle went on for about another year before I realised this was one of the many ways he attempt ed to emotionally manipulate me.

Leave him, he's a twat.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 18/04/2023 20:44

He sounds ghastly. Sorry.

DelphiniumBlue · 18/04/2023 20:45

Wow, that is grim.
I'd block him pronto, that is toe-curlingly off-putting. You can't possibly stay with a man that disgusting. Don't even bother to discuss this with him, he'll only be even more revolting. He clearly has no boundaries, how can he think you'll be jealous rather than rushing for the door? I cannot think of anything more unattractive than a man who talks like that.

Londontoderby · 18/04/2023 20:45

Think you’re trying to self yourself an excuse there if I’m honest. No one can be attached to a guy who acts like a first class looser in such a way as he does. Doesn’t he make you cringe?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/04/2023 20:47

That’s so disgusting, I feel like this can’t be real. If it is, get rid asap, OP. You can do much better.

user1473878824 · 18/04/2023 20:47

That’s disgusting OP, the comment and the way he’s treating you.

you might have an attachment to him but in the long run I have a feeling you’d be much happier without him…

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