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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he actually enjoys trying to make me feel jealous?

82 replies

FloJao · 18/04/2023 20:28

I have been with my boyfriend for a few years. We don’t live together. He is a lot older than me but throughout our relationship he has always accused me of being jealous.

A new next door neighbour has recently moved in next door to his house. I asked him what he was doing today and he replied (sorry for the graphic language) that he was ‘going to lick the minge of the next door neighbour’. When I asked him if he’d even met her he went on to add that she was ‘a little blonde bird’ and then said he could feel me getting jealous.

I mean this isn’t normal behaviour is it? Throughout our relationship he has made me feel like I’m acting irrationally whenever I raised concerns.

OP posts:
AppleJack43 · 18/04/2023 20:48

FloJao · 18/04/2023 20:42

I don’t know. I have been for counselling (on my own) to work through why I appear to have an attachment to him. We got together at the time of the death of one of my parents and my therapist thinks that I might have formed some attachment at that time and am associating the relationship with the loss of that makes sense.

He is in his 50s.

No it doesn't make sense.
What a vile vile man.
Pick your self esteem up off the floor and ditch him pronto.

PiffleIsTakingThePiss · 18/04/2023 20:49

You'd be better off bonding with a large turd in a windswept field somewhere. Raise your bar ffs and get a new therapist.

Jesusmaryjosephandtheweedon · 18/04/2023 20:51

A friend of mine had a husband like this, it went on for years in the background and nobody knew, he was emotionally manipulating her for years, making her feel she had to be a certain weight, size, hair colour or just not good enough. It eventually turned to domestic violence when she finally got sick of it and had enough and got rid. He almost murdered her but his brother physically dragged him off her. Lovely men these mental and physical abusers.

Jesus he sounds like a disgusting human. Get rid.

ejbaxa · 18/04/2023 20:52

Get rid of this filthy disgusting wanker.

And bluntly, consider what your dead parent would think of this situation. That parent would 100% not want you anywhere this awful man.

TellerTuesday · 18/04/2023 20:52

Vile

RampantIvy · 18/04/2023 20:53

He is in his 50s.

Those comments are gross in a younger man and even more gross in a middle aged man. He sounds utterly disgusting.

Why are you with him?

NeIIie · 18/04/2023 20:53

Would rather pluck my pubes out with rusty pliers. But what do you mean by this OP...do you have examples?

Throughout our relationship he has made me feel like I’m acting irrationally whenever I raised concerns.

Suzi888 · 18/04/2023 20:54

Eurgh. Instant ick.

MissMogwai · 18/04/2023 20:59

Absolutely not. How disgusting and disrespectful of him.

Please
Do yourself a favour and get rid of him.

Curseofthenation · 18/04/2023 21:02

He needs to go, you know that...

PickleOfAConundrum · 18/04/2023 21:05

He's belittling you by his behaviour OP and if it were my husband say that to me he'd be getting his marching orders! In a joke way that's fine, my husband and I do wind each other up jokingly and it's great craic but only because it's messing around. Anything other than that it's narc behaviour to get a reaction.

Ludlow2 · 18/04/2023 21:06

FloJao · 18/04/2023 20:28

I have been with my boyfriend for a few years. We don’t live together. He is a lot older than me but throughout our relationship he has always accused me of being jealous.

A new next door neighbour has recently moved in next door to his house. I asked him what he was doing today and he replied (sorry for the graphic language) that he was ‘going to lick the minge of the next door neighbour’. When I asked him if he’d even met her he went on to add that she was ‘a little blonde bird’ and then said he could feel me getting jealous.

I mean this isn’t normal behaviour is it? Throughout our relationship he has made me feel like I’m acting irrationally whenever I raised concerns.

You are posting this and asking if you are acting irrationally.

Really?

Read back you wrote it is beyond disgusting.

That thing you are with in not worthy to be called human

Ask him who or what bought him up?

Vile vile.

Ludlow2 · 18/04/2023 21:08

Apologise he made you feel like you were irrational.

Why the hell are you with him.
RUN FOR THE HILLS

Ludlow2 · 18/04/2023 21:09

RampantIvy · 18/04/2023 20:53

He is in his 50s.

Those comments are gross in a younger man and even more gross in a middle aged man. He sounds utterly disgusting.

Why are you with him?

FFS I thought maybe he was a young immature twat.

But he is a 50 year old wanker.

strawberry2017 · 18/04/2023 21:10

That's completely vile

countvoncount · 18/04/2023 21:13

Good lord, that's beyond off putting.
What a vile creature

thistimelastweek · 18/04/2023 21:17

I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him much less a relationship.

MumofOne1789 · 18/04/2023 21:18

Please leave him.

LakeTiticaca · 18/04/2023 21:18

Ugh why are you even with this vile specimen?

Penguinsmum · 18/04/2023 21:20

Omg raise your standards!

mainsfed · 18/04/2023 21:26

I asked him what he was doing today and he replied (sorry for the graphic language) that he was ‘going to lick the minge of the next door neighbour’. When I asked him if he’d even met her he went on to add that she was ‘a little blonde bird’ and then said he could feel me getting jealous.

He’s rancid. Please note that if you believe this is all you’re worth then others around you may start believing it too.

TeaserandtheFirecat · 18/04/2023 21:26

He's disgusting. I bet his new neighbour would be less than thrilled to know how he thinks of her.

Tinkerbyebye · 18/04/2023 21:26

Yuk

you really need to dump him, and set your sights higher

Atethehalloweenchocs · 18/04/2023 21:27

Truly disgusting and would make me never want to be intimate with him again. He has become a habit for you but one that is bad for you - like an ugly old coat you put on every day because that is what you always do, rather than because it is suitable, or likeable. Throw it in the trash.

ChickenDhansak82 · 18/04/2023 21:29

Seriously creepy.

I would never consider having any form of relationship with someone like that.

Get rid of him!