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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should nanny tidy up toys before going home

117 replies

treeliver · 18/04/2023 18:38

And in general during the day ? I had a nanny before and she kind of automatically did this...

However she did only look after 1 child. New nanny is looking after my two.

But I felt a bit miffed when I had welcomed her in this morning to quite a tidy house and obviously it got completely trashed and she just left, without lifting a finger.

I get that it gets messy, but the last 30 minutes she was just chatting to me anyway, whilst the older one was watching cartoons and younger one was just hanging out.

I don't know if she would have tried to tidy up, had I not come in and had a chat with her. Does it send mixed signals ?

She hasn't really tidied up much otherwise either to be honest. But I noticed it more today because I left the house especially tidy this morning for her.

Also, random question, but emptying the bin is not part of what the nanny should do right ? Previous one used to do it, if I hadn't got to it on the odd occasion ( maybe 3 times in a year ) she also used to occasionally hoover up after the my son, if he'd made a mess on the floor with play doh. Current nanny just leaves the play doh on the floor ( well she did today ) and didn't tell older child to tidy it away and close the pots. So basically the house was trashed and play doh everywhere.

I feel a bit miffed but perhaps it was caused by me being there for the last 30 minutes ? We were just catching up on the day and I started prepping dinner.

I'm not sure if it's me or her and how to say it to her in a nice way.

OP posts:
TwilightSkies · 18/04/2023 18:39

So your kids trash the house and the nanny has to tidy it all up?

Original poster
treeliver · 18/04/2023 18:40

TwilightSkies · 18/04/2023 18:39

So your kids trash the house and the nanny has to tidy it all up?

Well when they're playing, their toys are everywhere. My previous nanny tidied them away at the end of the day and even during the day to keep on top of it...

OP posts:
Original poster
treeliver · 18/04/2023 18:40

TwilightSkies · 18/04/2023 18:39

So your kids trash the house and the nanny has to tidy it all up?

They're small kids. One of them is a baby...

OP posts:
SherbetDips · 18/04/2023 18:41

I leave the house how I left it. Aka I tidy up toys and leave everything tidy. but I don’t tidy up mess left by parents.

NewNovember · 18/04/2023 18:41

TwilightSkies · 18/04/2023 18:39

So your kids trash the house and the nanny has to tidy it all up?

No the nanny is responsible for the kids trashing the place. Op yes of course she should tidy up.

RobinHobb · 18/04/2023 18:41

Yes, the nanny should tidy up the toys in the same way you would after your kids.

Ignore PP: maybe her babies and toddlers and preschoolers pick up after themselves?

For older kids, the nanny can encourage the kids to pick up after themselves - the same way you would

GiltEdges · 18/04/2023 18:41

TwilightSkies · 18/04/2023 18:39

So your kids trash the house and the nanny has to tidy it all up?

There's always one Hmm

Yes OP, I'd expect a nanny to generally clean/tidy up after the children, or if they're slightly older to get them directly involved in tidying up after themselves. It's not a lot to ask.

Expecting them to empty the bins is different. If you forgot and asked them to do it on the odd occasion, fine. But not as a regular thing.

SoupedUpSue · 18/04/2023 18:41

I would expect a nanny to tidy up/supervise tidying up, including picking up Play Doh from the floor (but not necessarily hoovering. Dustpan and brush for PD is fine)

JeanieJo · 18/04/2023 18:41

Yes I think it’s the nanny’s job to tidy up. I would be miffed!

rainbowstardrops · 18/04/2023 18:42

But why would she tidy the toys away when the kids are up and about and likely to still play with them?
I'd probably vacuum or sweep the Playdough up but it isn't her job to empty your bin!

GiltEdges · 18/04/2023 18:43

rainbowstardrops · 18/04/2023 18:42

But why would she tidy the toys away when the kids are up and about and likely to still play with them?
I'd probably vacuum or sweep the Playdough up but it isn't her job to empty your bin!

Because it sends a better message to children to encourage them to tidy as they go, rather than it becoming a free for all?

SherbetDips · 18/04/2023 18:44

I don’t have an issue taking out a bin, emptying and stacking a dishwasher, I like to leave my work space tidy and clean but again if parents leave a mess for me no.

Itsanotherhreatday · 18/04/2023 18:44

I think you should’ve been proactive - come on we’ll clear the toys whilst they’re occupied - you could’ve chatted at the same time.

And to be honest at school we were always told once the parent arrives the child is their responsibility.

You could’ve asked your child to help tidy.

Original poster
treeliver · 18/04/2023 18:45

Itsanotherhreatday · 18/04/2023 18:44

I think you should’ve been proactive - come on we’ll clear the toys whilst they’re occupied - you could’ve chatted at the same time.

And to be honest at school we were always told once the parent arrives the child is their responsibility.

You could’ve asked your child to help tidy.

I was making dinner.

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 18/04/2023 18:45

@GiltEdges yes I get that and that's a fair point. I suppose it depends on how many toys are out and the level of mess really.
Leaving Playdough on the floor etc would piss me off.

bridgetreilly · 18/04/2023 18:45

If you were chatting to her for half an hour while she was supposed to be working, why on earth didn’t you suggest that she tidy up then? Or better, that you give her a hand with it so it gets done sooner?

GiltEdges · 18/04/2023 18:46

Itsanotherhreatday · 18/04/2023 18:44

I think you should’ve been proactive - come on we’ll clear the toys whilst they’re occupied - you could’ve chatted at the same time.

And to be honest at school we were always told once the parent arrives the child is their responsibility.

You could’ve asked your child to help tidy.

But the point is the mess was made on the nanny's time, so they should clean it up.

Nanny0gg · 18/04/2023 18:46

TwilightSkies · 18/04/2023 18:39

So your kids trash the house and the nanny has to tidy it all up?

Surely it's the nanny's responsibility to engage with the children and play with them? And even if left to their own devices for a time they don't need to trash the place. I would have thought it's part of her job as it's child-related

DHsPoorBack · 18/04/2023 18:46

Yanbu.

A nanny should be doing, essentially, all things related to the children.

Most will do the children's lunch, and certainly tidy up after them. She's not there to play. She's there in professional capacity. And being paid that rate. All the nannies I know do the children's laundry as well. Basically, if it relates to the child (with some common sense exceptions) she should be doing it. That's kind of the point of her.

General household tasks, no. She shouldn't be touching the bins.

Iheartsummertime · 18/04/2023 18:46

Yes, she (with the dc) should tidy up after each activity. Good habits. Some creches have a tidy up song and when it comes on, everyone tidies.

JudgeRudy · 18/04/2023 18:47

I've never been or employed a nanny but I would think there's a middle ground. I'd pick the playdoh up, same with a sandwich and I'd sweep up but not sure I'd get carpet cleaner out. If the children were playing with the toys I'd leave them out till I was 'relieved' by a parent however if they were young children and example it was tea at 5pm then an hour play before getting ready for bed, I'd pack toys away with them as part of their routine.
I think what you need to do is say what you expect and see if it works for you both.

Isthisexpected · 18/04/2023 18:47

Is she a nanny or a babysitter?

A professional nanny would have clarified your expectations at least.

DrWhoNowww · 18/04/2023 18:47

I would assume if this is a one off that if you hadn’t gone to chat to her she would have used the last half hour to tidy a bit?

If my boss wanted to talk to me for the last half hour I wouldn’t get any of my last minute tasks done either - some nights I might stay to do them, some nights I’ve got other places to be.

Nordicrain · 18/04/2023 18:48

Yes, she should tidy up the mess your kids make during the day as part of looking after then. I wouldn't expect her to clear away anything already there or do anything additional though.

YoDood · 18/04/2023 18:48

Our fabulous nanny always tidied everything away.

She used to say that her job really was about keeping her employers happy. It was all part of the service she provided: when we came back from work, the house would be immaculate, the kids would be bathed and fed and in their pyjamas. A bit like Mary Poppins.

She also thought it was important to teach the kids how to tidy, and so they were involved in the process every day as part of their winding down routine.