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Original poster

Should nanny tidy up toys before going home

117 replies

treeliver · 18/04/2023 18:38

And in general during the day ? I had a nanny before and she kind of automatically did this...

However she did only look after 1 child. New nanny is looking after my two.

But I felt a bit miffed when I had welcomed her in this morning to quite a tidy house and obviously it got completely trashed and she just left, without lifting a finger.

I get that it gets messy, but the last 30 minutes she was just chatting to me anyway, whilst the older one was watching cartoons and younger one was just hanging out.

I don't know if she would have tried to tidy up, had I not come in and had a chat with her. Does it send mixed signals ?

She hasn't really tidied up much otherwise either to be honest. But I noticed it more today because I left the house especially tidy this morning for her.

Also, random question, but emptying the bin is not part of what the nanny should do right ? Previous one used to do it, if I hadn't got to it on the odd occasion ( maybe 3 times in a year ) she also used to occasionally hoover up after the my son, if he'd made a mess on the floor with play doh. Current nanny just leaves the play doh on the floor ( well she did today ) and didn't tell older child to tidy it away and close the pots. So basically the house was trashed and play doh everywhere.

I feel a bit miffed but perhaps it was caused by me being there for the last 30 minutes ? We were just catching up on the day and I started prepping dinner.

I'm not sure if it's me or her and how to say it to her in a nice way.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 18/04/2023 22:31

I think it's quite good that she left it in such a mess, including her own mess, today because it gives you huge advantage. I would say to her tomorrow that you can't come home to a mess like that again. It's her responsibility to tidy up after the children before you come home and to leave it in the same condition that she found it in the morning. She is at work. Can you imagine if any of us did that at work and just left it for someone else to clear it up?

EconomyClassRockstar · 18/04/2023 22:39

As long as they arrive to a tidy house, it's ok to expect them to clear up before you get home. However, if they arrive to a mess, then no they shouldn't be expected to clear up stuff that happened when they weren't there.

Chamomileteaplease · 18/04/2023 22:41

I am getting the rage just reading about the mess she made! No wonder you are cross.

Next time you see her, have your sentence ready - something like, "Yesterday the house was really messy when I got home. I really need you to have cleared up the kids' toys and to keep the kitchen clean and tidy. We did talk about this in your interview so could you please keep on top of it from now on?"

And don't start any sentence with " Sorry, but ...."

I am sure you can say it nicely but firmly. Is she young and thoughtless or older and cheeky? Either way, knock it on the head 🙂.

Murdoch1949 · 19/04/2023 02:51

You need to have a review with her and discuss your expectations and hers. I agree with you that she should tidy away the toys, with older child's help. Also the children's meal debris, cooking utensils etc, but she obviously needs to be told what you expect. Get her opinions to, as to whether there are things she wants to happen.

Suzi888 · 19/04/2023 03:04

“She also thought it was important to teach the kids how to tidy, and so they were involved in the process every day as part of their winding down routine.”

Indeed.

Theoldwoman · 19/04/2023 03:23

All chores related to her charges should be carried out by the Nanny. Maybe she was embarrassed to be cleaning while you were there for fear of being judged?

Softsoftsleep · 19/04/2023 03:51

Of course she should be tidying the kids mess before she leaves. That's such a no brainer. When I was maternity leave (with a baby and 2 school aged kids) I made sure the place was tidy before their dad came home. That way we could get straight onto dinner and spending family time together before bed. I wouldn't want a nanny who didn't get that or chose not to. I think it's a really basic thing to clear your work space before you go home, whatever you Job is. It's just basic manners to not be handing over a big mess that occurred on your watch and skipping away from it like its not your responsibility. Its not good enough. 'I'd appreciate it if you can have the place tidied tidied by the time I get back'. It doesn't require an explanation surely! I would not be happy about this.

Riverlee · 19/04/2023 04:07

Yes, she should tidy up and put toys away, clear up messy play doh etc.

SkyandSurf · 19/04/2023 04:41

Most nannies would tidy up after the children and themselves as a minimum.

That said, you have to look at the whole person and her performance as a whole.

Our current nanny is really messy. Absolutely trashes the house. BUT the children have a ball with her, she does lots of educational (albeit messy) activities and crafts, she has so much energy and positivity.

My children are happy and safe - I happily take the trashed house.

My previous nanny was wonderful as well, very tidy and would leave the house tidier than she found it. It was bliss to come home to the laundry folded and the dishwasher empty.

Both wonderful.

I think if the tidying is important to you say something, but no nanny will be perfect so be conscious of all her good traits before you push too hard about this one aspect.

Phoebo · 19/04/2023 04:44

I don't bother tidying toys until kids are asleep as it's pointless

Mischance · 19/04/2023 04:50

Mess like spills ... yes she should clear up.
General toys etc around and about ... no, not really. The children are still awake and will not suddenly vanish ... when they have finished with them later then you should supervise a tidy up. What are the children supposed to do when you come home ... just stand around with nothing to do ?

Willmafrockfit · 19/04/2023 04:52

surely it is the nanny's job to tidy up toys

pepperminticecream · 19/04/2023 05:02

Yes, she should tidy up any mess made while she is with the children that day. Our nanny does the following: children's laundry (wash, fold and put away), change their bedding once per week, their dishes from the day, works with them to put toys/books, etc away before she leaves. I also expect that the kitchen counters/table/high chairs are wiped down after lunch and the floor swept.

We do not expect her to clean up after us, and as a rule, we make sure that when she arrives our house is tidy, dishwasher unloaded, etc. She should have a clean work place & this set the standard for how we want the house to look at the end of the day.

webuiltthiscityonrockandwheat · 19/04/2023 05:09

I used to tidy up as a nanny as well as do laundry, ironing, vacuum any kids mess etc. it did annoy me with one family though when I would turn up on a Monday morning and clearly the playroom hadn't been tidied all weekend and I was expected to tidy it before the kids could play. But in general I would leave the house tidy

EllandRd · 19/04/2023 05:30

treeliver · 18/04/2023 18:38

And in general during the day ? I had a nanny before and she kind of automatically did this...

However she did only look after 1 child. New nanny is looking after my two.

But I felt a bit miffed when I had welcomed her in this morning to quite a tidy house and obviously it got completely trashed and she just left, without lifting a finger.

I get that it gets messy, but the last 30 minutes she was just chatting to me anyway, whilst the older one was watching cartoons and younger one was just hanging out.

I don't know if she would have tried to tidy up, had I not come in and had a chat with her. Does it send mixed signals ?

She hasn't really tidied up much otherwise either to be honest. But I noticed it more today because I left the house especially tidy this morning for her.

Also, random question, but emptying the bin is not part of what the nanny should do right ? Previous one used to do it, if I hadn't got to it on the odd occasion ( maybe 3 times in a year ) she also used to occasionally hoover up after the my son, if he'd made a mess on the floor with play doh. Current nanny just leaves the play doh on the floor ( well she did today ) and didn't tell older child to tidy it away and close the pots. So basically the house was trashed and play doh everywhere.

I feel a bit miffed but perhaps it was caused by me being there for the last 30 minutes ? We were just catching up on the day and I started prepping dinner.

I'm not sure if it's me or her and how to say it to her in a nice way.

She is a nanny not a cleaner

EllandRd · 19/04/2023 05:32

RobinHobb · 18/04/2023 18:41

Yes, the nanny should tidy up the toys in the same way you would after your kids.

Ignore PP: maybe her babies and toddlers and preschoolers pick up after themselves?

For older kids, the nanny can encourage the kids to pick up after themselves - the same way you would

At nursery the children are not allowed out until they have put all their toys away.

DorisParchment · 19/04/2023 05:37

She should tidy away toys and do any child related cleaning - if they have been painting, the kitchen table should not be covered with paint. Play doh should be hoovered up or swept up before it treads through the house. Sort this out now or she will get lazier and lazier (voice of bitter experience).

Kittylickingplate · 19/04/2023 05:56

Of course she should tidy up the children's mess that they made in her care. Just ask her too in future.

MaverickSnoopy · 19/04/2023 06:08

Speaking as a former Childminder and parent, the Nanny should be teaching the children to tidy up, even the baby (depending on age).

I've always started with taking a basket to the baby and asking them to put the toy in the basket. Over time it progresses.

Playdoh etc should be hoovered but bin is your job. If it's not bed time I've always gone with a 90% tidy rule, leaving out anything they're likely to want to play with. Then if they go to get anything else out I say, don't forget anything you get out needs tidying up, which will stop them from getting lots out but also pre warn them that they'll need to tidy.

lamaze1 · 19/04/2023 06:21

Have a chat and set out your expectations. Better to know sooner rather than later if the arrangement is going to work.

I would expect a nanny to tidy away toys with the children. Ours does with my 18month old. Also to tidy up after themselves add they go along.

maddiemookins16mum · 19/04/2023 07:26

Emptying the bin is part of someone being at home caring for children. Assuming nappies, food wrappers etc are going in there during the day. It takes two minutes. Hardly beneath a Nanny to do this surely (I was one btw and did all sort of stuff not in the job description (Nursery Duties). It’s part of being the only adult in the house all day.

SkyandSurf · 19/04/2023 08:20

OP if she is new, then now is the time to write a short instruction sheet. Include the children's schedules, likes/dislikes, allergies, important contacts and then a reasonable list of duties you'd like her to complete.

You can put 'tidy away toys' at the end of the day, 'stack dishwasher and wipe down kitchen' at lunch etc.

Remember she has two children to look after, not one so be realistic.

Personally I wouldn't expect a nanny to fold laundry etc if the children were awake, I'd rather them engage with the children. But that's a personal preference, it's fine to ask for light household chores that are related to the children. I wouldn't ask them to take the bin out, unless there was a dirty nappy or something that required it.

Also make sure her pay reflects her responsibilities. If you're paying her like a babysitter (not saying you are) then her job is just minding the children. A nanny is paid more but expected to do more.

Taq · 19/04/2023 08:25

Yes she should and you need to tell her now. One difficult conversation and they don’t do it again.
‘I expect the house to be left in the same condition it was when you arrived. I respect that you are a nanny and not a cleaner, and I do not expect you to clean up after me. However I also do not expect to be cleaning up after you. Please don’t let it happen again.’

Then move onto a lighter subject and thank her for anything positive. Don’t do it over text.

Taq · 19/04/2023 08:27

And absolutely yes to writing an instruction sheet. In my experience ‘please leave kitchen tidy’ isn’t enough. But a checklist of ‘plates in dishwasher, surfaces wiped and clear, table clear and floor swept after meals’ does get results.
I always apologise with new nannies and say ‘obviously you know all this but it’s just the generic list I have.’

Yummymummy2020 · 19/04/2023 08:31

Ex nanny here and it was always in my contracts to leave the kids toys tidy before I went home. Easier said than done but I was paid to do it so I did it. I would be annoyed too. Do you have a proper job description in her contract?

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