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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Too old for dummy AIBU?

105 replies

SunnyMummy4 · 18/04/2023 07:55

We have just got back from a holiday with our family and not sure if I am being unreasonable. DD turned 3 last month and still has a dummy at night time (I had never thought of this to be an issue before) We out in the evening past her bedtime and DD was in the pushchair. She was really tired but was struggling settle, so I gave her one of her dummy and my sister thought it was bad that she was 3 and still had a dummy. Thankfully she didn’t say anything to DD but I was still a bit taken back by her response as I have never batted an eyelid about it before.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MagpieSong · 20/04/2023 15:17

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/04/2023 14:52

Generally, I’d heard it’s not recommended unless there are extenuating circumstances, for example, a child struggling with autism who struggles to be calmed any other way

No child with autism I know got their diagnosis before 2, which is when the study was referring to @MagpieSong . Rather neatly circular.

Very good point, but I was giving a single study based on the OP requesting research proving dummy issues. The fact those children are younger is unrelated, really, it’s simply that dummies can cause issues overnight. (Although we all know they can also aid in SIDS in age 1 and under as well.) My point about age was unrelated to the study itself, simply pointing out those with extenuating circumstances meaning a dummy may be used for longer in those situations to aid children with other issues. No autism diagnosis is given under two and that’s not my point, though you could argue many parents of autistic children (particularly who have worked with or had other children with this diagnosis previously) recognise symptoms prior to age 1-2. That isn’t enough for diagnosis though.

Essexmumma1720 · 20/04/2023 22:02

My daughter was 2 when we got rid of her dummy. She loved it and would have had it all day and night although we didnt let her. We took it one morning and left a present from Santa and a note to say I've took it for another baby. 2/3 days max and she was fine without it all day and night. Once you decide to do it don't turn back. I sucked my thumb until I was about 20 and my teeth are absolutely fine. Don't worry about what people say and think x

Katiebaby3009 · 22/04/2023 10:18

I got rid at 2 and a half and it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Have you tried to stop her having it? If not, then I guess this is why your sister commented. If you have tried and it didn’t go well then fair enough and do what’s best for your DD. But I would say it’s definitely time to try without it.

DurdleLau · 23/04/2023 08:36

My dd never had a dummy, she didn’t want one- instead she used to suck her blanket. My son was encouraged to use a dummy as he was prem and we needed to develop his sucking reflex, in the end I took dummy away on his 3rd birthday, dummy went to the dummy fairy who gives dummy’s to all the little babies that have just been born, he liked that idea and we never looked back. His teeth are fine, in contrast I’ve seen a lot of teeth damage due to thumb sucking so I’m pleased he never got into that.

AmySma11 · 23/04/2023 08:49

I honestly wouldn't worry about it yet, my 3 year old DD still has hers and it's not affecting her speech, and she has it throughout the day as well, so we've not limited use yet. They'll not have it when they're an adult and it's a comfort item so what's the issue

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