Son excluded from nieces party

[Briar250]

My brothers daughter was 6 last week and we come from a large family, there are lots of cousins - who were invited to the party. My daughter, who is 9 months old was Uninvited though as she was deemed too small to engage or interact and my brother felt that there were too many children attending the party anyway which she said costs a lot.

I can see where he’s coming from, but at no point did he even consider my baby. There were others slightly older than my girl and we could have helped out tbh.

aibu for being upset and disappointed

felt like he was trying to impress his and partners mates and put is last

I wouldn't have invited a 9 month old. DC2s last party only 2 cousins out of about 13 were invited. The others are quite different ages and he is friends with the 2 that are invited. It was a cost per head party so I couldn't justify it when he has lots of friends he wanted there too.

Some tough decisions have to be made in terms of costs and space for parties - might be hard for you to understand now, but fast forward 3-4 years and you'll have to chose between school friends, family and any friends children you see socially.

Sometimes people change a few details so that it isn't outing, it could be an 8 month old daughter, a ten month old son and then forget. Does it matter, does it really change the narrative? Thought not.

This is different though, all the other cousins were invited and one was 12 months old so still a baby.

“My daughter”
”…she was deemed too small…”
”…older than my girl…”

Three ‘typos’ all in which you refer to your apparently male baby as female. How do you manage to mistype son as daughter or boy as girl? Surely you know the sex of your own child??

OP has said she has a bit of PND. Do all of you putting down someone with MH problems feel good about yourselves? Your bitchiness might make her feel worse, so well done.

OP has more than likely decided to change some aspects of the story to be less identifiable, and has just got a bit mixed up. Perhaps try to be understanding rather than laying into her?

OP, your brother has probably just invited kids who are more mobile and can get more out of the party, rather than deliberately excluding you. There will be plenty of parties for your little one to go to in the future, and soon you’ll be sick of them!

Children's parties can be quite stressful for the birthday child's parents and not only would your daughter be unable to participate but the parents probably wouldn't have time to engage with you either. Once they start inviting friends from school it's all a bit of a whirlwind in a short space of time. I don't think you should be at all upset, she is not missing anything.

Sigh. Maybe she's just trying not to be recognised. NBD.

I just can't take any of this seriously. Who types daughter when they mean to type son. And the brother in law is a she?

Then when called out she should have said, ‘Sorry, I’m changing details to make it less outing and got confused’ rather than say it’s a typo. A typo suggests you’ve pressed the wrong key by mistake like typing teh instead of the, he/ she might be a typo but I can’t see how girl/ boy and daughter/ son are typos.

If you are doing you would make sure at least your Opening post made sense.

@Briar250

Could you clarify

1. Is venue a home address or paid for venue?
2. Does 12m old have an older sibling that is invited (meaning accompanying parent/s can’t leave baby behind)?
3. Is 12m old walking or sitting up/able to play somewhat?

Overall, I think you’re overthinking as a first time Mum. Nobody is out to impress or one up anyone at a kids birthday party. They’re all too tired.

And ‘my girl’ is also a typo for son? Brother is he and she. Or is that the SIL?

Maybe op attempted to anonymise but went wrong? Can always request delete thread I suppose.

embarassed for you

Doesn't everyone change non relevant details on here, I know I do.

Under one name I might have a 13yo dd, another time she may become my son, sometimes I leave some of my dc off my posts as it isn't relevant to the rest of it.

The op clearly just got confused while changing details.

What the hell is wrong with some of you on here with the bitching about details?
Hope you all feel so much better now. As for the troll thing, report it then although it's so trival to other people.

Childrens parties tend to revolve around the ages and friends of the birthday child. At some point it also revolves around being the same sex.

Why would you expect a 9 month old to be invited to a noisy, chaotic and age inappropriate party?

This wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. A 12 month old might be walking and if they have older siblings their parents will already be attending. Inviting a young baby means an additional adult (or two) which the venue might not have space for.

So, if I'm to understand (apart from the difference in boy/girl), there is a difference in age of 5 years 3 months between your niece and your son?

My honest advice is get used to your son not being included in events for her. Even as they grow older. It's unlikely to happen. Make sure that your son has loads of his own friends and has a good network of his own. Your niece is at a completely different point in her life at this stage to your son.

You do know that people change details so as not to be identified?

She’s trying to obscure who she really is you wally @SnapchatJustForTheFilters, presumably like you do with your filters.

I assume the 12mo has a older sibling that you haven’t mentioned?

If a 12mo old has been invited I don’t see much difference with a 6mo old when it comes to engaging with 6yr olds. Does the 12 mo old have an older sibling.
Maybe it’s the cost and space of having extra adults around.
Tbh I think you’ve had a lucky escape. I’d pop round with a press when it’s quieter.