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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you think Joe Wicks is tone deaf of just supportive of his wife?

328 replies

moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:07

Joe Wicks has caused a bit of a stir with a recent Instagram post - thoughts?

www.instagram.com/p/Cq8Q3XvrXqL/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

OP posts:
TeamSleep · 17/04/2023 21:18

My first thought is who’s looking after their children while they’re both at the gym all the time? It doesn’t bother me really but there’s no way I had time to do all that training with young children around.

OliviaPark · 17/04/2023 21:18

He followed this post up with an Instagram story about how anyone can exercise if they have YouTube. That’s the tone deaf bit; he doesn’t account for pregnancy/postnatal physical complications or mental health issues or sheer overwhelm caused by having children and financial issues or having to run a home without cleaners and gardeners etc.

I doubt he’s intending to be offensive - he’s clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer (his empire is very much run by his brother with him as the face of it).

TooBigForMyBoots · 17/04/2023 21:19

He's a fitness influencer doing what fitness influencers do. How is he being tone deaf?Confused

Strugglingtodomybest · 17/04/2023 21:19

whatapfaff · 17/04/2023 21:17

I don't think he needed to post quite so many videos of his wife's bottom to make his point.

Ha! Just what I was thinking!

It's great that she has the time and energy to dedicate to all that exercise. I'm a bit jealous tbh, I just had to get straight back into running my business whilst also trying to breast feed (which didn't go well at first).

Original poster
moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:19

I personally think it's tone deaf.
It's very common for post partum women to feel totally floored, physically and mentally for a while. And to feel insecure in their bodies.
There are also many who can't physically work out due to either pregnancy complications, birth complications etc.
And then you have the issue of childcare funds, time, support etc.

OP posts:
Mochinated · 17/04/2023 21:19

TeamSleep · 17/04/2023 21:18

My first thought is who’s looking after their children while they’re both at the gym all the time? It doesn’t bother me really but there’s no way I had time to do all that training with young children around.

Exactly.

Toxic social media fantasyland

wincarwoo · 17/04/2023 21:19

TeamSleep · 17/04/2023 21:18

My first thought is who’s looking after their children while they’re both at the gym all the time? It doesn’t bother me really but there’s no way I had time to do all that training with young children around.

He exercises at home.

OliviaPark · 17/04/2023 21:20

As a fitness influencer it’s possibly responsible to acknowledge that not everyone is in the physical/mental place to jump back into postpartum exercise.

Dacadactyl · 17/04/2023 21:21

I mean, it's easier for her married to a multi millionaire to stay in shape. But I don't think he's tone deaf. Too many people kid themselves they're not in good shape cos they don't have time etc. But they're watching telly, on MN etc instead of moving around.

DonnaRix · 17/04/2023 21:21

They just hang the baby up on the bar

Newnamenewname109870 · 17/04/2023 21:21

Hankunamatata · 17/04/2023 21:17

It's a bit hmmm tbh. I'm not sure any sleep deprived new mum should feel the need (forced) back into strenuous gym routine she doesn't even like.

It's just another post where new mums will read it and feel crap thag they havnt bounced straight back into 3 gym sessions a week and not pushing themselves

I agree with this. It’s quite over the top. Maybe he could have just written it a little differently.

lljkk · 17/04/2023 21:21

Can't he just be happy for her?
yeah sure she had money to help but that doesn't mean she hasn't worked hard at her fitness, too.

Just don't follow if you don't relate to them any more.

Disneyblueeyes · 17/04/2023 21:22

I mean he's obviously very supportive of her, but in the real world it isn't that realistic I suppose.

I struggle to find time and motivation to work out several times a week but it's not impossible.

I guess it's just easier for them because they'll probably have a nanny, etc.

Wittow · 17/04/2023 21:22

Privileged beyond measure.

Newnamenewname109870 · 17/04/2023 21:22

Mochinated · 17/04/2023 21:19

Exactly.

Toxic social media fantasyland

Show quote history

Yeah no real understanding of how normal people have to do it

CherryCokeFanatic · 17/04/2023 21:22

I think the only people annoyed by this are probably envious (or in denial of being so)

Albiboba · 17/04/2023 21:23

Plenty of women feel fine 4 months after having a baby and are perfectly capable of going to the gym if they want to or doing a home work out if that’s what they want to do.

This culture of being afraid to say anything positive about yourself or others because it doesn’t apply to someone else is exhausting.

Who cares if this women is fit and another isn’t? Why is it relevant that sharan can’t be arsed to work out after doing the food shop with 2 kids?

OliviaPark · 17/04/2023 21:24

It is depressing that as soon as an attractive woman is involved that other women jump to ‘oh you’re just jealous’.

It is possible to have an opinion on an issue concerning an attractive women that isn’t fuelled by jealousy.

Coffeellama · 17/04/2023 21:24

moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:13

Here's another link

www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/joe-wicks-accused-giving-new-29708484.amp

Basically he has posted photos and videos of his wife, saying how proud he is of how much effort she has made with keeping fit theoughout 3 pregnancies etx. Sleep deprivation etc. and how great she looks 6 months post partum.

AIBU to find it a bit tone deaf?

How is it tone deaf? Fitness is his job, his wife has prioritised her fitness and done a great job and he’s proud of her. What is the problem?

Heroicallyfound · 17/04/2023 21:25

moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:19

I personally think it's tone deaf.
It's very common for post partum women to feel totally floored, physically and mentally for a while. And to feel insecure in their bodies.
There are also many who can't physically work out due to either pregnancy complications, birth complications etc.
And then you have the issue of childcare funds, time, support etc.

That might be your tone but I don’t think it’s a generally healthy tone to have about your life. If you think Joe Wicks is deaf to the depressing tone you set for your life that’s sad for you, but don’t pull everyone else down with you. Let him be proud of his wife for her achievements and for enjoying her body.

LolaSmiles · 17/04/2023 21:26

I think he's being supportive.

He isn't saying everyone needs to do strenuous workouts until 40 weeks pregnant and drop their baby weight in 3 weeks. He's saying he's proud of his wife for doing what was right for her in her pregnancy and post partum time, and why shouldn't he be.

Coffeellama · 17/04/2023 21:26

moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:19

I personally think it's tone deaf.
It's very common for post partum women to feel totally floored, physically and mentally for a while. And to feel insecure in their bodies.
There are also many who can't physically work out due to either pregnancy complications, birth complications etc.
And then you have the issue of childcare funds, time, support etc.

But he’s a fitness guy with a fitness based page, not a post partum mummy page. The fact that many women struggle doesn’t mean we should hide those away who don’t, just follow someone else.

NeatCompactSleeper · 17/04/2023 21:27

moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:19

I personally think it's tone deaf.
It's very common for post partum women to feel totally floored, physically and mentally for a while. And to feel insecure in their bodies.
There are also many who can't physically work out due to either pregnancy complications, birth complications etc.
And then you have the issue of childcare funds, time, support etc.

Oh come off it.

And some women can't have kids at all, so does that meant no-one should ever post pics of a pregnancy?

Each to their own. Not everything has to be avoided because someone else in the world can't or won't be able to do it too.

Original poster
moderationincludingmoderation · 17/04/2023 21:27

CherryCokeFanatic · 17/04/2023 21:22

I think the only people annoyed by this are probably envious (or in denial of being so)

I'm not envious. I am really happy in my body & with my life. I too excercise a lot and work really hard at that.

But I if had a massive audience like him, I would think it my responsibility to consider that the majority of them are not in such a fortunate position and it's a very sensitive topic.

OP posts:
DarkDarkNight · 17/04/2023 21:27

It’s easier to do when you have money and you can pay for help (cleaners/nannies/PAs etc.). I can see how it would make a new mum who hasn’t got back in to shape feel bad about themselves - he’s pretty much saying there’s no excuse but not acknowledging she has a charmed life.