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AIBU?

Holiday accommodation & DD

242 replies

PotsAndDishes · 17/04/2023 13:03

Before I roll out my picnic blanket to sit on the proverbial hill I’m choosing to metaphorically die on, AIBU?

We’re going away on holiday with extended family in June. Accommodation is a large villa with additional connected apartments, but with separate entrances. There’s also a pool which is unfenced. Current proposal is that those with young kids (<3) take the apartments, thus ring fencing the kerfuffle at 6:30am when they all wake up, and letting those in the main house get a bit of a holiday lie in.

I have said, OK, makes sense but obviously either DH or I will effectively go to bed with DD (2) each night because I don’t want to leave her by herself in a different building (separate entrances) with potential hazards around (unfenced pool, one apt is up stone steps with a balcony, what if the air con catches fire).

According to the in-laws, I’m being TOTALLY unreasonable, PFB-esque, nothing will happen to her, just lock all of the doors so she can’t get out, it’s no different to her being asleep upstairs in the house, I’m creating a rod for my own back, just whack on a baby monitor, blah blah blah.

So, AIBU? Should I chill out, take the monitor, hope it stretches and enjoy my evenings in the main villa?
Or AINBU and leaving a 2 year old asleep locked in a different building isn’t really OK?

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Shoxfordian · 17/04/2023 13:04

Yanbu - you should do what you feel comfortable with, you’re the parents

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Spiderboy · 17/04/2023 13:04

Can’t she sleep in the main villa and then you carry her to bed?

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Deliaskis · 17/04/2023 13:05

Can't you pop her to sleep in the main villa then you just transfer her when you go to the apartment?

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Deliaskis · 17/04/2023 13:06

Sorry cross posted!

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thaegumathteth · 17/04/2023 13:07

I agree and there's not a hope I'd leave her. Tbh though the very concept of going on holiday with my in laws would make me want to never leave the apartment 😂

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SleepingStandingUp · 17/04/2023 13:08

Separate buildings or one building with essentially extensions on it?

I think the latter is basically like being in one large house. Of course all the doors are locked at night just like I'd lock my back door and front door, and windows etc on my small house. Presuming you can get to her without going outside. Perhaps negotiate the closest room?

If I had to go outside to get to her building, I'd agree with you and probably just hang out in another room in that building.

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Franklin2000 · 17/04/2023 13:08

Yanbu, I wouldn’t leave my children locked in an apartment and spend the evening in the main villa. I wouldn’t lock my child in my house and go sit next door for example so it’s not ok because you’re on holiday. This wouldn’t stop me going though. I’d either put the children to sleep somewhere in the main villa or get a travel cot if she still fits in one and move her when you leave.

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Sunshineclouds11 · 17/04/2023 13:10

Agree I wouldn't leave her either.

She sleeps in some part of the main villa and then carry her across.

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LBFseBrom · 17/04/2023 13:11

I don't think you are at all unreasonable, I too would not have wanted to leave a two year old alone in an apartment. However mine always stayed up quite late on holiday, had dinner with us in the evening, played around later and a lot of other small children staying at the resort did the same - especially the non English. You might find your daughter keeps different hours on holiday.

My goodness a 6.30am start would not suit me one bit, do all the young children wake at that time? You might find if they don't go to bed so early they sleep later.

However this is your child so your rules. As long as she is safe, you are not doing wrong. I do hope you enjoy your holiday.

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Brendabigbaps · 17/04/2023 13:13

Remind them of Madeline McCann

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Talipesmum · 17/04/2023 13:14

Really depends how the place is laid out. If the apartments are just “wings” of the main building, and can be all accessed not too far away internally, then yes that would be fine - I’d lock all doors to the outside so they couldn’t wander out to the outside / pool, and keep internal access. But I wouldn’t leave child in a locked separate building.
And neither of mine would have been ok going to sleep in the main building and being carried through - they’d def have woken and been a massive PITA all night.

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LittleLegsKeepGoing · 17/04/2023 13:15

I wouldn't be comfortable with my 10 year old sleeping in locked accommodation away from me, and she's a perfectly level headed and risk adverse child (who would also sleep through a tornado).

No way on earth would I be happy with a small child and that set up. It'd be my hill and I'd be building a fort alongside my picnic blanket!

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Talipesmum · 17/04/2023 13:16

And can you use any clocks changes to your advantage? If the holiday place’s 9pm is UK 7pm, then just stick with their existing body clock sleep cycles and keep them on UK time…

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user1471538283 · 17/04/2023 13:16

She either goes to sleep in the main villa or one of you goes with her to the apartment.

Nothing would mean I would have left my DS at any time let alone on holiday. As for locking her in! What?

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Heronwatcher · 17/04/2023 13:18

I don’t think you’re necessarily being U, it depends on the setup. Myself and my friends have left kids asleep in massive holiday houses (think over 10 bedrooms) with baby monitors on. In reality they were probably as far away as a separate apartment and they would have had to walk through a bit of the garden to get to us (we were eating and drinking in the garden). But I regularly checked on them and I agree that a separate apartment would have felt different. I’d suggest just closing the discussion down along the lines of “well we’ll have to see how things go when we get there, I am sure we’ll work something out.” And then just do what you want once you get there (make sure DP is on board too).

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JackieQueen · 17/04/2023 13:20

None of their business, do what you're comfortable with.

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DrMeredithGrey2023 · 17/04/2023 13:23

I wouldn't do it, and depending on distance/monitor signal you might not even be able to rely on that - we've stayed in a treehouse at Center Parcs before which had a separate games room, it was no further away from the main lodge than some peoples garages.
The second we stepped foot in the games room the monitors stopped working.
All children involved were over 2, but we still didn't feel comfortable.

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Theelephantinthecastle · 17/04/2023 13:25

I would go the other way and have the families with young children in the main villa and the adults without children in the apartments. It means they can more easily play with each other in the morning.

@LBFseBrom it's 6:30, not 5, perfectly reasonable time for small children to wake and doesn't bother me at all. Actually wouldn't want them sleeping much later routinely as need to get going to nursery/breakfast club. The 5am phases, another story...

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lunar1 · 17/04/2023 13:25

No way would I be leaving her in a separate bit, as another poster said, look how that turned out for Madeleine and her family.

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saraclara · 17/04/2023 13:25

"Let's see when we get there, and check that the monitor's range is long enough"

And of course (one way or another) the monitor won't work will it?

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Beamur · 17/04/2023 13:27

Not a chance I would leave a 2 yr old like that.
I would probably try and extend the daytime nap and let her stay up later though.

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Theelephantinthecastle · 17/04/2023 13:29

The other thing - depending on weather and layout - is could you sit outside in the evenings, within earshot of the sleeping children?

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PotsAndDishes · 17/04/2023 13:29

The apartments are connected to the main villa, as in sharing a party wall but sort of like an L shape. Entrance to the main villa is equivalent to middle of the vertical, entrance to the apartment block (for want of a better word) would be at the very rightmost end of the horizontal part of the ‘L’. So you’d come outside, walk past half the main villa, up the outside of the apartments and then come into the entrance way to them.

Putting her to bed in the main villa and transferring across is definitely an option, I have a toddler airbed I could take which she could initially sleep on in someone’s room, then carry her across when we go to bed.

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StonwEd · 17/04/2023 13:31

I'd just be keeping her up until 9/10pm then go to bed at the same time

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QuinkWashable · 17/04/2023 13:34

Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with she's only little, and if she's not a good sleeper then you'll only be up and down like a yo-yo anyway

What i do with the cats when I'm away, and did with the kids when they had bedrooms on a different floor is web-cams - not just a monitor, but a webcam, with my ipad signed in so I can watch what's going on. Skyping yourself on a spare mobile also works - and if you get a PAYG sim can work where there isn't wifi.

But, in any case, YANBU. I wouldn't have left my 2 year old alone in a separate building either.

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